DOSE:	1 bowl	smoked	Cannabis	(daily)
	25 mg	oral	Ephedra sinica	(daily)
	50 mg	oral	Caffeine	(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

Backround: I have been smoking weed for over a decade at first it was all I did. I fell in love with the drug immediatley. Possibly due to an abusive upbringing. The first time I smoked I felt 'happy' for the first time in my life. I finally understood why people smiled. I rapidly fell into the culture. Peaking out in college smoking 7-10 grams a day, selling over ten lbs. a week. I was living a wild life, doing anything and everything that would set my synapses firing, letting the drug and money take over my life.

A series of scary near-jail experiences causing me to tone down my act. I have since, many years later, developed a healthy respect for the plant and it for me. Pot helped me kick cigarettes. Whenever I felt the need for a cigaarette I would pull out my 'bat' and have a hit or two. This would relax me and help me feel better, yet would leave me with an anxious hopped up feeling. I decided I needed to do something to get rid of this excess energy. I started to run.

Preperation: It's a mental game. I would sit in my apartment alone talking to my self smoking my bong. 'your soft' 'your fat' 'your lazy' all sorts of anxiety would rack my brain. I would get higher and higher. I would take a few more hits. 'You have to do something you can't just sit around here getting high all day hiding out' I would say to my self. The weed would make me very introspective. I would make myself start to strech out in preperation for the run, not really knowing what I was doing aping the movements of people I had seen in the park. Feeling my body and my muscles starting to scream at me in pain. Back it off just a little bit just a little pain concentrating on the streching feeling in the back of my legs the way my gut curled up along my chest when I bent over the feeling of my back streching out starting to breathe deeper 'making friends with my body' I would call it.

The weed slowed me down enough where I could concentrate on the minor feelings of my own body being self aware. Take a couple more tokes. Put on an old pair of shorts and some good running shoes. Wow, I'm almost out the door. Time to go. At first I would go a half a mile or so the euphoria would be mild but the satisfaction was intense. I was out doing something and after jogging I din't want to smoke a cigarette for at least a little while. Fuck, I could barely breathe. For years I progressed like this.

Now it's a perfect science and the perfect buzz. I stay sober all day no substances. Water and normal meals only. Three hours before a run I stop drinking and eating. A half an hour before a run I take 25mg of ephedra mixed with 50mg of caffeine. I stretch for ten minutes. As I'm stretching I take hits off a small pipe smoking a medium sized bowl of mid-grade bud. A mixed tape plays in my ears of some up-tempo dance music. I start to get chills as my body readys for the rush. When the bowl's finished I'm off.

Concentrating on the form of the run the swing of the arms. The movement of the torso the pumping of the legs the landing of the feet. Practicing production of power from different parts of the body the legs, the stomach, the butt, my arms, my back, working together appreciating the syncronicity of the body. Picking up the pace being aware of the resperation, the production of the energy and the sweat running to the beat of my favorite ministry song, truly burning inside.

The euphoria now kicks in around the three mile mark. It used to happen earlier. Some times it is painful. My diaphram cramps, my legs ache. This is my pain it was given to me to work with to cherish to empathize with. If I'm not careful I ocassonally get an over-use injury. One time scraping away the material under my kneecap from to much running. Wating for it to grow back caused me some depression. I've learned to be friends with my body through this wierd ritual.

I feel the weed allows me to enjoy the enviorment while I'm running and to be aware of my body in a way that is not possible when I'm sober. I feel it allows me to be more introspective and less judgemental to figure out problems, slows me down mentally. Opening those mental filters slowing my reaction to outside stimuli, keeping me from making rash judgments.

After a while the running carried over into other aspects of my life making it easier for me to deal with situations whrere my heart rate would be elevated. Helping me deal with and process mental and physical pain. I feel much more confident when I am physicaly fit. Oddly, I feel the herb has help me become more physically fit. For personal reasons I've been forced to stop my cannabis intake as of late. I miss the relaxation and introspection very much and am looking forward to being able to continue with this 'ritual'. Exercise without weed is very bland now, an exercise in getting it over with. A means to an end. Weed helps make it an end in it self.

In Addition, I have found that diffuculty quitting smoking weed at various times in my life is directly related to quality of life. If I have to stop smoking for a while in order to take a piss or hair follicle test. I find it much easier to stop if I am content with my current life condition. If I am not happy with my life (people, surroundings, job Etc.) it is exponentionally more diffcult. I pray for a day when Americans are able to legally make there own decisions about what is right for there own bodies and minds.

Exp Year: 2003	ExpID: 25880
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Mar 8, 2007	Views: 30,496
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Cannabis (1), Ritual (129) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Health Benefits (32), Alone (16)