The Worst Three Days of My Life
Salvia divinorum
Citation: Jacksplat. "The Worst Three Days of My Life: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (exp26414)". Erowid.org. Aug 16, 2006. erowid.org/exp/26414
DOSE: |
smoked | Salvia divinorum | (leaves) | |
oral | Pharms - Diazepam | (pill / tablet) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 170 lb |
For the last 7 years, I had been intrigued by psychedelics, and had always wanted to try LSD. However, I never had an opportunity to do so.
Anyways, I bought some Salvia Divinorum through an online shop, a very respectable one, and great on-time delivery. After about a month, I thought I was ready to try it. After all I had read, it would only last 15 minutes or maybe an hour max. Even a bad trip can't be *that* bad if it's only 15 minutes. I am a Christian, and I was hoping this could help rejuvenate my spiritual life (which had been falling somewhat). I was looking forward to some psychedelic experience, hopefully something interesting. I was not that scared (how bad can a few minutes be?).
The time (Friday night) came. I had a well lit room, and I lied down on my sofa. I loaded about 1/4 of a leaf (1/4, 1/8 gram?). My brother was my sitter. I took one hit, held it for about 15 second, then got rid of it. As soon as I put the waterbong down, I could feel it start. My feet felt cold immediately. Then my whole body felt flushed.
At once I felt panic, so I told my brother to turn off the music (Pink Floyd) and sit there with me.
I felt something was different. When I closed my eyes, I'd have semi-dream visions appear in my mind. They were out of my control. When I opened my eyes, they'd go away, and I'd feel ok. After about 5 minutes, I decided to sit outside (it was night time). It was cold, so in about 4 minutes, we went back in. We turned on the music, and it was a neutral experience. I felt something was different, something odd, but I didn't have any real visuals or things (only when I closed my eyes, uncontrollable dreams would start).
After about 20 minutes from smoking it, I went to bed. It was a little scary getting to sleep, but I was really tired, so I fell asleep quickly. The next morning I awoke somewhat tired, but with a fear on me (I was still having strange dreams). So I sat down at the computer and tried to work or play or whatever.
Later on that day, we went to see a movie. I was feeling ok. In the movie theatre, I had a small (30 second) panic attack, but after it passed, I was ok for the rest of the day. I went back to my parents house that night, and tried to go to sleep, but when I'd start to sleep, I'd wake up from fear (uncontrollable dreams). When my brother turned the light off, I just started to panic. So, I went to where he was going to sleep, and he stayed up with me most of the night. I'd pass in and out of consciousness, but normally suddenly awake. Around 4 am (went to be at 11PM) I was so tired, I finally went to sleep for good.
The dreams I have on the edge of sleep were very disconcerting. I had no control over them. They'd move without my will, even though I was somewhat conscious. Sometimes they'd be scary (thinking someone was going to kill me), sometimes non-sensical (floating around strange shapes).
Another thing to consider, I believe I ate some bad food at the theatre (A hot dog) and that caused the stomach pains mentioned later.
Now we're at Sunday, so I decided to go to church. I thought it would be a good positive place. I went to my girlfriend’s house, but felt sick. I told her what happened (she's against all drugs), and then I started crying. After 20 minutes, we went to church.
This was the absolute most horrifying experience I had. At one point, I felt that this was not even my life, that I was trapped in some surreal reality. Note that this was +36 hours after I had smoked the salvia.
I went home, and lied down. I called my mom, who is a nurse. At first I didn't want to tell her I had done anything, so she treated me with antibiotics (thinking I had eaten some bad food). However, by nightfall on Sunday (at +48 hours), I told her what had happened. She was very comforting. I slept in their room that night with the light on. She prayed, read the Bible with me, reassured me. My blood pressure was up to 142/100 (or so). My pulse was nearing 100 (I'm normally 120/80, 65 pulse).
I did not sleep well. I had weird thoughts entering my mind. At one point, I awoke, thinking I had read a news article about a serial killer (complete with names and details), and that I was next. Things like that happened all night. Finally, dawn came.
My mom had to work, so I stayed with my girlfriend all day. My mom started me on a little Diazepam (Valium). It helped me sleep and get through the day. However, during the day, I had several fear attacks, and constantly thought that I'd never get better and that I'd be stuck this way forever. This was at ~+60 hours. At night, my mom picked me up, and gave me some more valium (I had taken 5mg every 4 hours since 8am). I finally felt more or less ok. I slept with my brother with the light turned on. I didn't feel panic anymore.
This morning, I awoke more or less ok. I can still feel some effect, but I'm taking Valium to combat it. At this point, I have no idea how long the fear might last. As I write this, I'm at +86 hours from when I smoked the salvia. When walking around my house, I feel somewhat dizzy, and slight tinges of fear hit me.
While I didn't have a strong effect (no visuals, no complete loss of consensual reality), it was very long, and extremely horrifying. I've never experienced anything so bad in my life. Had my mom not been a nurse trained in this, I would have tried to check into a psyche hospital. Had I been alone, I don't want to think what could have happened.
It's possible some of the physical effects could have been caused by bad food. However, I've had amoebas (I didn't this time) before, which is extremely painful physically, but I never had the panic and uncontrollable thoughts enter my mind.
Exp Year: 2003 | ExpID: 26414 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Aug 16, 2006 | Views: 26,128 |
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Post Trip Problems (8), Difficult Experiences (5), Small Group (2-9) (17) |
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