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Dancing in the Lifeless Paradise
Opiates
Citation:   TakenbySweetDreams. "Dancing in the Lifeless Paradise: An Experience with Opiates (exp30950)". Erowid.org. Jul 21, 2006. erowid.org/exp/30950

 
DOSE:
  IV Opiates
BODY WEIGHT: 125 lb
I am currently rehabilitating myself after many years of addiction to opiates. For the past 2 or 3 years I have stayed in the opiate paradise. Hydrocodone primarily (which I took about 60 or 70 mgs daily), Oxycontin (snorting or injecting), Morphine, Heroin, Methadone, Demerol, any type of opiate based drug.

My experience has taught me how the authors of many opium induced works of literature saw the world. An oral dose is very slow to sink in, but after a while you feel the cloud of endorphins coming to your aid. They make you itch. They make you numb. They take away all feelings... good or bad. When I was in my opiate based wonderland for those years it was as if nothing mattered. Once I stay numb and emotionless for that long I see the world in a different way. There are no biases. I see the world for the wretched ball of misery that it is.

What is a person without emotions or personality? It's not a person, I can tell you that much. If you're sad, get a fix. If your bored, get a fix. Someone pissed you off, get a fix. Tired of giving a fuck about pointless day to day bull shit, get a fix. Don't have money to get a fix? Go and fuck some dumb unsuspecting cunt over and get that fix. It doesn't matter if they are your friend... you're not a person anymore... you're a junkie and all you care about is more junk. When I'm high on opiates I sit and stare at a wall and wait until it's time to get more. Hungry? Doesn't matter. Thirsty? Doesn't matter. Lost my job. Doesn't matter. Hate my life. Doesn't matter. All of these things can be forgotten under the itching flood of comfort brought to us by opium.

I am doing rather well coming off of the shit though. I have made it past the head aches, stomach cramps, diarrhea, irritability. (Although fun, opiates can cause a severe physical addiction that is extremely painful..... it's almost worth the high though)

Shooting up.

There is the Glory Spot.

Feel the sting.

See the Red.

Hear the Music.

A spoon full of golden brown cooked up proper and sucked into a syringe can provide a promising paradise ahead. Feel the prick and tap the vein and push it on in. Any opiate (when injected) will send me sinking down into wherever I was sitting and I will hear divine music.

Opiates will provide me with a rare and unbelievable Heaven,
The withdrawal will provide me with a nightmarish Hell.

Depression, bored, craving, puking, shitting, cursing, hating. Having to deal with everyday shit in a full state of consciousness is not something that the lifeless body of the opiate user. The user is not a person any longer. That person is dead to reality. That person is waltzing through a lifeless paradise.

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 30950
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 21, 2006Views: 8,939
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Opiates (207) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


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