BODY WEIGHT:

200 lb

In November of 1997 I tried crystal. I had previously just smoked pot for a few months. I started one evening with 3 friends. We had about 2 grams between us. We smoked some, and snorted some that night, about a gram between all of us. I was still going 24 hours later but I was starting to come down so I got some more money and bought another 2 grams or so. I didn't come down for four days.

During that weekend I felt like I had this immense amount of energy and power, but I didn't feel agressive at all. My pulse raced, I talked incessantly, I had cotton mouth, and I couldn't stop smoking cigarettes. By the 4th day my tongue had sores on it from smoking the crystal off of foil and out of light bulbs.

The first 3 days was incredible. There was a constant feeling of euphoria and energy that seemed like it would never quit. I felt like I had talked more in that weekend than I had in the month before. But by the end of the trip I was becoming very agitated and irritable. I felt like I could kill anybody that even looked at me wrong. I realized I hadn't eaten in four days as well.

From the first time I did crank, I was hooked. I spent the next year doing anything and everything I could to get crank. Don't get me wrong, it seemed like a blast at the time, except when it ran out. I would become very agitated and aggresive then.

After a few months I would start to get very paranoid when I would come down. And I was using more and more. I was using well over a gram a day. To support my habit I was dealing meth to all types of shady people. Soon enough I was having to do more and more to get less and less effect. Smoking and snorting just weren't getting me off anymore, so it was time to go big.

I shot up for the first time in February of 98. I was so overwhelmed when I loosened the strap that I actually passed out for about 45 minutes. When i woke up I felt like nothing I had ever felt before. I could not stop moving. My hands were constantly busy, my feet tapping. I would pace around constantly. My hair felt like it was standing on end and my heart felt like it would jump right out of my chest. The effect lasted about 8 hours before I came down and went to sleep.

I won't kid you, that scared the shit out of me. I had said I'd never 'bang' it. It scared me enough that I didn't smoke, I didn't drink, I didn't do anything for a month. But I couldn't hold out anymore. I needed crank. It was all I could think about. That folks, is what we call an addiction.

So I picked up the rig and started banging several times a day. I was selling more and more shit to pay for my habit. I started to pawn things. I stole stereos and stuff just to get money to get high. When I didn't have a needle I'd use somebody else's.

Life didn't matter. I didn't care whether I lived or died, just that I got high. I would do anything to get some meth. My useage progressed all the time.

By June I was shooting 2 grams a day and smoking/snorting another gram or more. I would stay up 12-20 days at a time, and eat a small meal once every 5 or six days. I quit school, I totally alienated my friends and my family and anybody else that could interfere with my habit. And my health was very poor. I went from 200 lbs to 160 pounds, and I'm 6'5'.

I tried to quit many times and I just couldn't. I could not stay sober for even 36 hours. Finally my family had enough and got me committed to treatment. The withdrawls were too much for my mind and body to handle. I ended up in the psych. ward, held down to a bed with five-point restraints. I was doped up with benadryl, valium, and ativan to keep me from having seizures and put on halydol (a strong anti-psychotic).

I was filled with rage. I threatened to kill both of my parents and anybody else that got in my way. It took 6 orderlies to hold me down and get me on the table. And the pain in my bones from the withdrawl was intense.

My mind was completely sent awry from the withdrawls. I don't remember anything that happened in the next two weeks. I could barely walk and could only respond to my name I'm told.

To this day I have problems remembering people's names, many things about my childhood, and many other things. My immune system is extremely weakend. But, I am alive. For a period before I cleaned up I didn't care if I lived or if I died, just as long as I was high.

Meth can be a fun drug if used responsibly. Some people aren't capable of that. People like me get addicted after the first bump, hit, line, whatever. Just try to keep this in mind if you've never tried. Have fun and be careful.

Method

Exp Year: 1997	ExpID: 3128
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 27, 2001	Views: 26,738
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Methamphetamine (37) : Various (28), Multi-Day Experience (13), Addiction & Habituation (10), Health Problems (27), Retrospective / Summary (11)