DOSE:

10 seeds

oral

H.B. Woodrose

(ground / crushed)

BODY WEIGHT:

186 lb

I have never been an enthusiastic user of entheogens and psychedelics, but I have indeed used them a number of times over the past several years. However, the first time, which was mushrooms, I was unaware of what part of my conscious would be stricken. After that initial trip, I gained a respect for entheogens and psychedelics. I have cultivated a small dislike for people who use such drugs for no real reason then they want to get ‘fucked up’. I doubt that there are many, but I have met a few over the past several years.

I, personally use entheogens when I feel that I need to use a tool to guide me in my mystic and shamanistic path.

Okay, now I shall dismount from my soapbox, and tell you of my experience. I had in my possession an amount of 50 HBWR seeds. I decided that sense I was experienced with various other psychedelics that I would indeed take a rather strong does, but over time. I decided off the bat that 10 would be suitable, and that I would ingest 4 to start, wait two hours and take an additional two if needed. I set a rule that after 10, if I didn’t have a noticeable move from baseline, that I would just put it off until another day.

After ingesting all ten seeds over a time period of about 3 hours, I felt little more then a slight uplift in mood, and a cannabis like thought pattern, without the slow confining inarticulate experience that cannabis often gives me. So with that thought, I waited an additional hour, and concluded that it perhaps just wasn’t the night.

I however was in short, very wrong. And often I find that putting myself in that mindset of “oh well, nothing tonight perhaps next time” can be dangerous, but that night, it was not.

I at first watched my Bill Hicks video, which I often keep around while on a journey, because it relaxes me and keeps me sane while setting in, or coming down.

About half way though the movie, which was about 4 and a half hours after the first initial ingestion, I decided to retreat to my room, as my stomach was reaching a discomfort, and I was beginning to shift into a state of mind that required comfort, stillness, and solitude. I often play Tool when in a trance or entheogen experience, so I did just that for a little comfort. While listening, I turned off my lights and just lay down under my covers eyes mostly closed. Lots of color patterns with closed eye and open eye.

Then after a song came on called Merkaba, I heard the music no more as a distortion before me, an oval shaped white light, with fading pulsating dots of white and black on the outer edge. Its will beckoned that I allow myself to release my firm grip on this reality, and free my self from all ideas and presuppositions that I held. I felt no fear in this, no malignant feelings, just that of something that I desired to understand. So I let go. I released my conciseness and felt pulled though the light. As soon as I did so, a saw my body from a corner of my room curl up into a fetal position, and with that I was instantaneously launched into a red and yellow warmness, which I concluded was my mothers womb. I then was reborn and took a huge deep breath and mildly cried for a while. I was then subject to almost all of my life being watched, not really lived, but just seeing every second that let up too the moment which was the now.

I sort of awoke from my trance one I landed back in the now. The music was heard again, but now it was offensive, as is the mild noises make me twitch and cringe with each lyric and each riff. (The approximant time now was +4 hours after I retreated into my room, but I wasn’t aware of time that much.) I made a wise decision to turn off the music, and see where I could go. I laid back down, and watched the closed eye visuals, and kind of writhed around in happiness of my new found life, and appreciation for The Now.

At that point, I felt two blue, translucent beings lift me out of my body, and inform me, (no words, just feelings, empathy) that I was not yet informed of what I was to need to know yet. They, (eyes closed) lifted my being out of my body, and I felt as though I was floating over my body, and I felt as though they wanted me to look.

I was then pulled far away, and what felt like long ago. I personally believe that these beings took me to the initial instant that the universe was born, with intense colors and heat, and a gravity shifting feeling of being pushed back by the blast, which expanded and evolved larger and more 3 demensional as I rushed through it. Then it all pulled together into one fine needle point, and repeated itself.

They somehow explained to me, that this had happened an infinite number of times, and that I was to understand that the life of my own being, all beings, were someone connected to this same pattern, and that there was no more need for me to keep looking back into the past, for meaning. (Which I often did, I often tried to get ‘back’ to a time when man was void, and all was unclear, I time where our own conclusions could be drawn about all, and a place where there was no preexisting ideas or conceptions.) That was a common theme in my meditation, psychedelic trips, and mystic ideals. However, I was informed that perhaps we are capable of being in that void nature without looking to the past, but rather looking in ourselves and the collective human mind.

After I flew back into my body, at speeds still unbeknownst to me, I kind of jerked, and was almost back to baseline, so I thought. But, I was back in my room, and aware of the fact that I was a sentient, logical human being. So, I went outside to indulge in one of my favorite, yet horrible habits, and smoked a cigarette. It was just beginning to get light out side, so it was about 7 hours after I went to my room. Then, as it got a little lighter, I noticed that I having very intense distortions of the trees, grass, cars and my body. I however wasn’t really in that mystical state of mind, I was just hallucinating visually. I decided that despite the fact that it was entertaining, that I’d better go take the Bendryl that I had kept, incase of sleeplessness. (which is almost always a constant while using such substances). It took about two hours for me to go to sleep.

I woke up around seven hours later, still seeing minor distortions, and feeling a distinct afterglow, but rather groggy.

Also, I failed to mention, there was a lot of stomach discomfort whenever I returned to my room, out of the ‘trips’ for lack of a better word. I felt as though I could vomit, if I was so inclined, but I resisted to no ill effect. But it is a diarrheic, for sure, I purged around 7 hours after the retreat into my room, then again about an hour later. And there were minor cramps throughout the next day.

I am sorry that I did not keep better track of the timeline, it was rather hard to stay focused on anything from daily life for a while there. I hope this helps. I may well do these again, however, the after effects lasted a long time, so I would need about two days free from any obligations. It was strong, and indeed not a toy. I would put its intensity at this level somewhere between P. Cubensis and LSD.

Exp Year: 2004	ExpID: 31295
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 1, 2006	Views: 30,010
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H.B. Woodrose (26) : Music Discussion (22), Glowing Experiences (4), Alone (16)