DOSE: T+ 0:00		vaporized	Syrian Rue
T+ 0:00		oral	Syrian Rue
T+ 0:20		oral	Mushrooms
T+ 0:00		inhaled	Nitrous Oxide

BODY WEIGHT:

87 kg

I first vaporized some syrian rue and drank syrian rue tea made from a heaping tablespoon plus some syrian rue that was previously extracted. I was getting quite 'stoned' from syrian rue... it's similar to pot. I was getting some traces of visuals too.

Then about 20 minutes after I started taking syrian rue I ate the shrooms. It wasn't a measured 10 g but I guess that it was close enough. While eating the shrooms I drank and smoked some more syrian rue and I also smoked some syrian rue after that. Within 10 minutes or so I was feeling really intense, weird and sort of pleasant body feelings and I could see my pupils getting more and more dilated but I still wasn't really tripping.

Within 20 minutes I started seeing patterns everywhere but mentally I was still feeling more or less normal but getting a bit confused. I gave up on vaporizing syrian rue and I did some nitrous. At this point I felt 'connected' to nitrous/ether space... I was remembering how I had forgotten stuff about that and I even remembered that... I connected to the chain of jokes. I had felt that I had left the universe and decided to come back and that was the thing I was forgetting before. I related that to how some christians say that we made a choice to come here (though I don't believe in that religion). Making a newsgroup post about this was difficult but possible.

I was then listening to Tales of the Inexpressible by Shpongle and I started imagining all sorts of stuff. I saw the Indian connection in the music. I was imagining various India-related scenes.

Things were getting more weird and I was becoming bored with the Indian connection. Now I spent plenty of time just lying down on my bed with my head pressed into the pillow. I think I was feeling bad but I wasn't really experiencing that. I was wondering if now was the time to connect with various unpleasant feelings and resolve that, but that wasn't happening. I didn't really care too much about having a good time; I certainly wasn't upset because of what was going on... I just thought how if someone saw me acting like this they'd think I was having a bad trip but there was no one there.

Then I did nitrous again. At this point I felt myself going back to that same space, except that I saw more... I made some connection to something. I did nitrous again and that connection become more definite. It was like I had connected to some people somewhere... it seemed like people who had died and were trapped into some void. Some guy told me something like 'Yes, we do all this together. You've seen it!' (actually this was something in the music). I got a definite impression that 'this was it', I finally understood what was going on.

I immediately saw that there was more than this universe, that there were many more dimensions and that this universe along with other universes were all in a void. In the void there were pure unembodied conscious entities of two types, corresponding to the two genders here. There was nothing to do there and so being there was boring and unpleasant for most. I realized that the people who were trapped in the void had died before they were ready for re-incarnation and they were stuck there for a long time, possibly forever. They could see everything but participate in nothing. They were telling me to stay away and stay alive in this universe so I don't become trapped there. Some were practically pushing me out and I could feel it. This wasn't scary at all.

I also realized that all conscious entities in this universe were part of the whole thing. We just aren't normally aware of our existence in other spaces and dimensions. I felt that psychedelics were the key to awakening people to this fact and that drugs were illegal to prevent this from happening and that it was very necessary to fight and circumvent this to elevate everyone to this level of awareness.

Eventually I wandered back and I conversed with other entities in the void. They weren't all desperate... some seemed okay with being in the void and maybe even moving between the universes. They 'told' me 'this is it'... that there were universes and conscious entities and that was all that existed. They also 'told' me that nobody really understood how all of this came about. I realized that bits and pieces had been figured out and I started collecting that knowledge.

Then I started connecting with other people in ways which transcended this universe. All sorts of things happened. Sometimes I'd say something profound but it would feel like some other person or even entity took control of my body and made me say that... for a split second we merged. I experienced all sorts of experiences that people find intensely pleasant including some that I've never experienced. At the time I felt that was real... that I was really experiencing moments from other peoples' lives. It felt so real that later on I wondered if I had been intruding and possibly harming others. The experiences felt totally real and awesome but I felt way better than that... I was higher than anything one could ever hope to achieve by doing stuff. One time someone's face appeared in some sense and he blew out pot smoke that I inhaled. It felt like it somehow happened across space and time and maybe even different universes and I actually got stoned and smelled the smoke.

During this time I started feeling unity. Now I get the impression that to most people unity means some sort of alliance but I now feel like there I got a deeper and true meaning of that: There is no them... there is only us. This implies a sense of equality and that nobody is really an outsider. In retrospect things went deeper than that, because I see that I was everyone in some sense.

There was another deep sense here.... sense of 'nothing matters'. I kept repeating 'nothing matters!' like I had just discovered something amazing. That was the solution to everything. It was just a knowledge that no matter what happens I can handle it and it doesn't have to cause severe suffering... I can just accept it.

About 1 hour into the trip I laid down and listened to the Voyage Into Trance mix by Paul Oakenfold, as suggested by D. (He suggested it 45 minutes into the trip.) I was hearing various sentences in the music and they were saying all sorts of profound things. I was seeing scenes from parties I've never been to. I could look at any dance move I saw there and totally understand it, the connection with the music and a sort of feeling associated with it. (To some extent this has happened for me when actually at a party while on acid.)

Then I talked to D over ICQ. That became weird because I felt like I then ended up finding and contacting him in some way that's outside of this space. I felt like I was communicating various things even when I wasn't communicating on ICQ and I also felt that there was no point in communicating many things because everyone knew them and certainly if he directed me in this direction he had to know them.

After this when I thought about various people I know I felt like I was contacting them some way that's outside of this universe. There was some sort of effort involved in finding them but then I felt I remained in some sort of communication until I was coming down from this trip. I also felt like remembering someone had a deeper significance, like two people would remember each other at the same time and then connect in some way. There were some people who refused to do that. I also felt like I was sort of becoming the people I contacted... like some things I did weren't really me doing that thing but me together with others.

For a lot of the trip I wasn't listening to music. Usually when tripping at home I'm always listening to music but this time it was different... there was no point to external music... I felt like I had all I needed and in some way almost as if I was listening to music.

There was a certain sound and movement that I kept repeating. The sound was a sort of pulsating hissing and the movement was moving my hands apart as if I was pulling on a string that lengthens. I don't know what that was about but it felt profound.

Towards the end I listened to Happy2bHardcore Chapter 3. I wouldn't think that would go to well with acid but it was pretty amazing. When someone was singing it felt like they were talking about their own life and it felt very deep and genuine. I think that the words I heard were a mix of what's there and my thoughts at the moment. It felt very profound and meaningful.

After this I was almost back to baseline. I still saw visuals but mentally I felt more-or-less normal. I started reflecting on what I had seen. I was wondering about what it all meant and whether I should believe in it and/or how I should interpret it. That was sort of twisted... many things seemed like they couldn't possibly not be true but I realized that they were so different from what most people believe in and that maybe if you start believing in stuff like this it leads to insanity. I kept wondering about this for a while. Eventually I just went to sleep.

Basically, it was a totally amazing experience that went far beyond my wildest expectations. I definitely got something out of it too. I feel I understand things a lot better. Also, there were some issues I wanted to deal with but they just disappeared without any effort whatsoever... imagine that. (...but no real long-term benefit)

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 31508
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 8, 2021	Views: 950
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Syrian Rue (45), Mushrooms (39) : Glowing Experiences (4), Sex Discussion (14), Combinations (3), Alone (16)