DOSE:		oral	Pharms - Methylphenidate	(daily)
	1 hit	oral	LSD	(blotter / tab)
	1 tablet	oral	MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

51 kg

I think the reason things have become messed up in my mind, is partly due to the fact that I was on Ritalin for 2 years. (For ADD and Narcolepsy.)

I first started taking Acid around 5 years ago, but never over-indulged, never taking more than 2 LSD blotter-hits or 2 Ecstacy pills at a time. I knew my limit, and I enjoyed myself thoroughly for 2 years, frequency: about twice a month. I experienced all kinds of settings, from the raves, clubs, to being with 'normal' people in a secluded setting - in the middle of the bush with animals - (I live in South Africa) even being all alone in a room by myself. And I WAS FINE.

Yes, they've been fantastic trips, yes I've had some difficult ones (never turning into full-blown bad trips). I always had a handle on it, and understood the concept of surrendering to the drug, and having a deep respect for it. I even helped talk a guy who was having a bad trip out of it. I always had a good relationship with entheogens. Particularly LSD and Ecstasy. (But not much of a weed smoker.)

At some stage during the last 5 years I was put on a course of Ritalin to combat my ever-sleepiness and inability to concentrate. (2x a day) I also experience mild narcolepsy now and then. Being on Ritalin felt great. Always on top of things. I continued tripping during this period.

My last trip 2 years ago was slightly uncomfortable, but still great. As above, I had my Ritalin that morning. We candyflipped, went to a local spot that we regularly go to (so the setting was familiar), and I had 1 LSD & 1 Pill. Everything was going fine, but I started becoming extremely tense, for no known reason. I kept thinking the same stuff over and over again, and tried to reason with myself that everything should be ok, but it was not. I started getting this overwhelmingly strange feeling that I was VERY FAR Away from Home. (?????)

Eventually we went home and watched a bit of TV, and finally I fell asleep. Woke up the next morning, feeling fine, and quite allright. (I never had bad comedowns or hangovers). Day went on as normal. A week passed. The next weekend: We went out that Friday night, and had to drive far to a friend's place. A song was playing, and suddenly I had this overwhelming urge to jump out the car. As if I had to get away from something bad. It actually felt like my muscles went into shock or something. My brain was buzzing, and I couldn't think straight. I was sweating profusely and felt like something TERRIBLE was going to happen. Heart pounding. I had to switch off the radio, tell my boyfriend to stop the car and I got out and stood there looking at the sky. (Which seemed to big, overwhelming...)

This happened again later that night, I would be panic stricken for no apparent reason, and couldn't handle certain situations that were never a problem to handle before.

To cut a long story short, it is now 2 years later, and I have not been able to ingest anything that I believe may be intoxicating. I've even cut out alcohol & cigarettes! I've developed some irrational phobias, for instance a fear of driving too far in a car. Some nights before going to sleep, I will hear conversations being carried out in my head. Not under my control, as if someone is standing there yakking away in my room, without my permission.

I miss being able to trip, but I don't know if it was the Acid or the Ecstacy that set this off. (or the Ritalin) I finished the course, and felt much better after coming off it though..

I've read some reports, and maybe I had a bit of a break with reality, but otherwise I'm fine. I've got above-average intelligence, have a steady relationship, good job & income, great friendships and the rest of my life is pretty normal... I just get these incredibly debilitating thoughts going through my mind sometimes, and I wonder if I'm not going mad? And I can't bear the thought of being in an 'altered state' of mind again....

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 32939
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 15, 2022	Views: 745
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LSD (2), MDMA (3) : Post Trip Problems (8), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)