DOSE: T+ 0:00	50 mg	oral	Tryptophan	(capsule)
T+ 0:59	50 mg	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
T+ 4:00	30 mg	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
T+ 4:15	9.0 mg	oral	2C-B
T+ 10:00	20 mg	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

1 dose of burning man T-5 days (first time)
50mg 5htp
.5 hits of E T+0
.3 hits of E T+4
2cb, 8-10mg? T+4
.2 hits of E T+10

It was the night of the burn at burning man. It had been an amazing week so far. I had tripped once on E already that week, and had had my first 2cb trip, found it very visual and fun, it was the first time in 10 years I had had a psychadelic that strong. I should note that I tend to be sensitive to E and psychadelics, 1/2 a hit will often get me off, a full hit spread out over time will keep me at a nice level for a good 10 hours.

I met up with some friends, it was about time for the burn to start, we headed out toward the man. Along the way I took 1/2 hit of E. It started to hit pretty quickly, I was already noticing it by the time we got to the man. Regrettably I had to go to the bathroom. I left my friends for a minute after noting some landmarks. Upon returning the crowd had shifted and the landmarks where gone , I was unable to find them. The man burned soon after that, apparently earlier than expected.

The burn was pretty enjoyable but with a constant nagging feeling that I should find my friends. Quite a bit of searching failed to accomplish this. I then headed toward a pre planned meeting point, I failed to find it, having misremembering the location. I started to experience the negative side of feeling like a child, I felt like a lost child, and was close to tears. At this point the E trip pretty much seemed to end, I just felt shitty, although not unbearably so (E leaves logic pretty intact). Around this point I think I decided to just give up for the evening, and head to bed.

Heading back toward camp I encountered 'the glory wall' this was a wall with rubber gloves sticking through it. People on one side could anonymously touch, feel etc. the person on the other side. In my mood this was perfect, I felt too pissy to really interact with anyone face to face. My encounter with the wall left me feeling much better and kind of amused. At which point I decided real people sounded better than bed after all.

I headed toward a camp where I knew alot of friends would probably still be awake. After talking to a few people I felt much better, the E kicked back in again. I took most of the remaining E (.3hits?). A while later forgetting that I had taken more E, also took my remaining 2cb from the previous day. Both hit at the same time with a rather edgy rush. I still felt reasonably sober, until at some point a woman ran an incense stick through the beam of light from a projector. The swirling 3d smoke patterns where amazing, I ran outside to tell someone what I had experienced.

After that it was simply amazing, there where alot of visuals, and the camp was kind of melting. But I barely noticed any of this, it was the empathogen qualities that I noticed. It felt like being mildly drunk while on 100 hits of E. Everything was simply perfect, dancing, standing still, talking, thinking they where all simply perfect. At this point I realized only one thing could be better than this, making other people happy while in this wonderful state. At that instant I felt something like a touch on my shoulder, it felt like 'God' had touched me and said 'Your Free'. This meant freedom from all want and desire, freedom to do and be anything, true perfect freedom.

I started helping out with food service at the camp. I couldn't not dance while working, I don't remember any visuals from this point forward I was so involved in what I was doing, that the visual part of the trip just ended.

Morning came, and as often happens the morning sun made the E kick back in hard, I took the remaining E as well.

Morning was perfect and beautiful beyond words. Everyone looked like they had been painted by a great medieval painter. Almost all my friends had tripped on something and where all very happy as well. This was more than a feeling, it was like a place. I was certain this shining, love drenched place was what was meant by 'The Kingdom of Heaven', its not a place you wait to go when you die, its a place individuals and groups can go without ever leaving 'the world'. The place has a taste, and a smell, sweeter than any words can describe. It is a place where death is irrelevant, not because it doesn't exist, but because 'now' is real, and no matter what happens in the future you are so alive 'right now'.

We tore down the camp, I worked hard all day, in a state which I believe is called Wu Wei. I was unaware of the passage of time until the sun went down. I never experienced tiredness, soreness, boredom, or anything of the sort. It was simply wonderful, just existing no matter what you did was a great pleasure.

The next night as if to drive home a point I was accidentally splattered by human ashs during a very chaotic memorial service.


For a week I thought it was after glow, then I realized I had changed in a deeper way, I had been in denial about certain issues since childhood. I had dealt with death originally by believing in an after life, then by ignoring it. Now approaching my mid 30's and having worked in the medical field for a while, this was no longer feasable. That night showed me the answer to living as a mortal being without the need for denial.

Exp Year: 2000	ExpID: 3309
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Feb 16, 2001	Views: 42,019
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Ritual (129), 2C-B (52), MDMA (3), Tryptophan (138) : Festival / Lg. Crowd (24), Multi-Day Experience (13), Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), Difficult Experiences (5), Combinations (3)