DOSE:

repeated

smoked

Salvia divinorum

(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

I have smoked Salvia 3 times in the past two days.
I will give a detailed account of experience 1 and 2.

Experience 1: It's noon. I have my curtains drawn and it is dim and silent in my room. I have a pillow on the floor and my water pipe is ready with ice added. The bowl is filled, but it is a small bowl that comes with cheap plastic water pipes. I tell myself that no matter what happens I need to remember that this is a drug and I will come back to normal. I try to relax and take a rather large hit, hold it as long as I can, and exhale. I take another hit, and I do not need to hold it in. The smoke leaving my mouth from that exhale is the last thing I remember.

Immediately, I had no concept that I had just smoked anything. I have experimented with several substances in my past, in large quantities, but nothing has ever overtaken me so quickly, so powerfully as Salvia. I immediately lost touch with who I was, where I was, why I was there, what had just happened, and any recollection of any reality that I have known for my entire life was gone. It's hard to explain the physical sensation and distortion of time and space that occurs. It's almost like pins and needles all over my body. Space seems to fold or wrap in and of itself. An immense feeling of anxiety came over me and then turned into all out panic.

It was like my mind rejected the concept of not being in control. I rushed to try to find an explanation for what was going on. I thought that I had died with unfinished business, possibly. I felt like something was terribly wrong, but what it was, I could not figure out. Suddenly, I thought about my mom and younger brother, but not in the physical sense. Yet, I still had no concept of who I was. I looked over to my bathroom door and it seemed like a porthole into, well, where it went I'm not sure, but I got up and went into my bathroom. Then, piece by piece, everything came back to me as I was looking in the mirror. I regained enough of my faculties to look at the clock and saw that 5 minutes had passed. Needless to say, I was a little freaked out, but I was very glad that it did not last long. I really don't think I could have handled it.

Experience 2: Being a trooper I decide that maybe it will be better the second time. It's 10pm, my room is pitch black, and I'm lying in my bed this time. Same set up with the water pipe. This time I decide that I need to meditate for at least ten minutes to calm myself down before doing this. I clear my mind and feel totally relaxed. I take one hit, as big as I can, bigger than the first time, and lie back holding it in. I don't remember exhaling. I can't stress enough how much Salvia rips me away from the world of the five senses, immediately. I can tell myself I smoked Salvia while I hold it in, but when I cross that threshold, I will have no concept of Salvia, smoke, pipes, fire, earth, etc.

Honestly, it's frightening. But this time something different happened. I think it was because of the darkenss of the room. I belonged to something, something on a much grander scale. Wait a minute, I'm in something! I'm planted in the ground! I was under my covers up to my chest and I remember grabbing my covers and wondering what the hell they were. The seemed like a layer of grass or earth that I was planted in. I wasn't alone either, there were many others like me. I couldn't see them, but I just knew they were there. We were all planted around the base of an ancient oak tree that seemed like it was as old as time itself and had a feminine, motherly quality to it.

Then everything shifted and I had to sit up, I wish I wouldn't have, but I had to. The panic of the first experience wasn't as strong, but it surfaced. I think once again my mind rejected traveling to some distant consciousness that it has no control over. Then I remembered who I was, but where I was is something I hadn't quite figured out yet. I can remember saying out loud, oh yeah, my computer is over there. I looked in the direction of my computer, but it was like looking through a veil that opened slightly just so I could see what was in front me. As soon as I saw the siloutte of my computer I felt comfortable again and laid back down, but the ride was over. All that was left was a few body sensations for about a minute or two.

Experience 3: Did not have enough to alter consciousness. Body sensations like pins & needles though.

Overall: Terrifying. I had no idea how badly my mind would reject not being in control. When it does reject the Salvia experience, simply put, it is a totally confused panic attack. However, I feel like I know how it feels to die now. I'm not sure if I will do it again. It is TOO intense.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 40256
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 2, 2007	Views: 6,580
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Salvia divinorum (44) : General (1), First Times (2), Retrospective / Summary (11), Difficult Experiences (5), Entities / Beings (37), Alone (16)