DOSE:

repeated

IV

Methamphetamine

(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

50 kg

I had my first blast when I was 38 years young and had never used anything other than pot before.

At first it was big fun of course, but it didn't take long for that to wear off. Within four or five blasts, I was hooked.

After four months I'd become an identifiable junkie. I was staggeringly thin, and people stared at me.

I quickly lost concentration in anything other than getting from one dose to the next. Within a few months of my first blast, my life began to fall apart: relationships, study/work, friends, self-esteem, body image, my mental health deteriorated. I became a very unpleasant person and everything felt like a huge effort.

Acquiring a needle fetish wasn't good for me. I was mesmerized by the needle, more so than the meth which soon became a terrible terrible burden.

The day I couldn't get out of bed without a shot was the day I began to bring myself back to reality. I'd been using continuously for seven months at this stage. I reduced my doses and began to shoot up sterile water when the needle cravings peaked. I got a lot of assistance from the staff at the local detox clinic. They were friendly and understanding.

After about a month of procrastination, I finally took the plunge. My dealer (yeah can you believe that) agreed to support me. At home, I just sat and stared for hours and hours, retching my guts up quite often, and after three days I was clean. And never looked back. In the meantime I had lost everything, and hurt my family and friends. Now, at least, I have my soul.

The first few months were hardest because I had to break association with other users and the whole culture of it. I moved out of state, which was a successful tactic. Cravings weren't much of an issue surprisingly !

Two years later, I've stopped having dreams about it, and I look back on this as a special kind of learning experience.

Exp Year: 2002	ExpID: 41216
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 27, 2007	Views: 8,510
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Methamphetamine (37) : Various (28), Post Trip Problems (8), Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11)