DOSE:

Alcohol

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

This is probably more of a retrospective/summary kind of experience submission.

I first got drunk at 14, almost 15 years old. I have to admit I really enjoyed it at first. I only got drunk about 3 or 4 times after that, until about age 18, which is when I started going crazy once I got to college.

Social situations. That's how I got into alcohol. I am not an alcoholic or anything but I can't say I don't at least partially question what I was doing with those blackouts, which I am humbled and embarassed to have 4 on my belt. Not to mention damage to the brain and liver and stomach, which fortunately probably is not all that much compared to other people, since I only drank regularly for a little over a year. And I almost never drank at all during the week. The shit is just fucking gutrot. Alcohol supposedly lowers inhibitions. That's what made it so attractive to me - I was such an inhibited kid, but when I was drunk, I would suddenly become myself and actually started talking once in a while, making people laugh, etc.

Don't be fooled. It's a placebo effect. A study was conducted in the University of Washington, where they fabricated a bar setting. You know those 4-squared chemistry tables (I'm not too scientific)? They did one like this:

Got alcohol Did not get alcohol
Wanted alcohol
Did not want alcohol

Yup. They actually observed what people did under these circumstances. The ones who thought they were getting alcohol, and did, is pretty much an obvious outcome. I don't think I need to cover that. The ones who thought they were getting alcohol and did not? Listen to me very carefully. It was done with near bears and tonic water and such. Somehow they can make it taste like it's alcohol, and when the barflies started drinking, they all spoke of the buzz they were getting, they all acted EXACTLY AS THEY WOULD WHEN DRUNK. And their blood alc. content was nothing higher than .00000000%

Those who did not think they were getting alcohol and did, acted sober...they thoroughly made certain that people wouldn't drink too much, but the people displayed no lowered inhibitions, impulse control was relatively the same...

I am paraphrasing a lot but I am sure it's on the internet somewhere.

When I learned about this, that was really what did it for me. It made perfect sense to me. I gradually started to act exactly the same when drunk, unless I was blacked out - in that case I was just fucking retarded. I didn't know what was going on at first. I often pushed myself, wanting to push my limits so I could get 'perfectly drunk' every time I started drinking. A mistake among alcoholics - don't ever employ that psychology when drinking; it will lead to you blacking out, and you're just going to wake up confused and wondering who you pissed off last night.

I will have a beer or a shot or two. But two drinks remains my maximum. I don't get much of a buzz, if one at all, and I don't care. I'm happy that I'm not going to wake up with some shitty headache, all because I was stupid enough to think alcohol was actually contributing to me having fun. Yeah right.

For the most part, I've quit drinking. Maybe sometime in the distant future I could consider it again but...I have precious little incentive to do so in a LONG time, if ever again. The thought of getting drunk, knowing the unimaginable unhealthiness that alcohol embodies has disgusted me for a long time. I don't know if I can disassociate from that. I hesitate when offered one beer nowadays. I do actually enjoy the taste of a good drink though.

I know this is a cliched stoner thing to say, but it pisses me off that alcohol is the legal drug when clearly it is SO MUCH WORSE than marijuana or mushrooms. I hate people. I can't believe alcohol and nicotine are the legal drugs when it has been proven through in and through out that they're much more detrimental than marijuana or mushrooms.

Is it worth the hangover? Is it worth the risk of going down the wrong road? Is it worth those poor unfortunate people on the highway who become victims of drunken driving? Is it worth losing people like Chris Farley, or Bon Scott? Do you guys remember how funny the movie Tommy Boy was? Do you guys remember when ACDC was on the verge of unimaginable prominence and success, when Scott's unfortunate death at the hands of the bottle in 1980 suddenly ruined everything? Remind me again how many people have died from marijuana?

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 41761
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 5, 2007	Views: 1,551
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Alcohol (61) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Various (28)