DOSE: T+ 0:00		oral	Mushrooms	(tea)
T+ 0:30	repeated	smoked	Cannabis
T+ 6:00		oral	Mushrooms	(tea)

BODY WEIGHT:

200 lb

Descriptions of mindset-
About a year ago, my university decided to suspend me for a year for my bad grades. I had spent four years in a bachelors degree I didn't like, only to complete about half the credits needed to graduate. As each year had gone by, my grades got worse and worse, my interest in the field grew smaller and smaller, I gained about fifty pounds, I smoked more and more weed, did worse and worse with the ladies, and my hope of graduating and becoming somebody grew smaller and smaller. Them suspending me was one of the best things that could have happened. I decided to change my field of study, and was fortunately accepted (on probation) at another university. This past year i've been getting As and Bs (and one C). I've put down the pipe quite often because I'm interseted in what I'm studying and I like putting time into it, i've lost a little weight, and i've even been out on a couple of dates with some really attractive girls. In almost all aspects, my mindset was very healthy for a little mushroom trip.

Going back to the bad years for a moment, some important info: in my second year of college (about three years ago), I was having anxiety problems like I had never had before in my life. I even got a few panic attacks (which aren't just feeling panicky; I'm talking about DSMIV certified panic attacks). I started taking zoloft and it helped a little, but it didn't really make me feel normal again. That's when I bought two books on meditation. I made meditation a big part of my life, and it dramatically helped me with my anxiety. I mean, it practically took it away completely. Instead of taking advantage of this in academic terms, though, I took advantage of it in smoking terms. Paranoia when I got high went away completely, so I started smoking in bob marley type of doses.

Then, about a year ago, I took a very powerful pill. They sold it to me at a rave party. I had used ecstacy before, but it had been a pill cut up and divided for four people. This one was completely for myself and it was bigger than the other one. BTW, I doubt entirely that it had only mdma; I'm sure it must have had a bunch of other crap too. The party was amazing and the trip was unforgettable. Thousands of dancing bodies, smoke, light effects, and incredible music.

The next day, when I was going to do my meditation, I couldn't concentrate. I naturally figured the pill had something to do with that, and that I would eventually be able to concentrate again. I wasn't. I would constantly be drifting off, but it wasn't just that. Drifting off is natural (perhaps not to this extent, but it's a common thing). The thing that was different was that, even when I became aware that I had lost track of my object of focus (which was usually my breath), I couldn't get back to it. My thought currents were too strong to control or ignore. When I finally did get back to my breath, I couldn't get exactly back to the same sensation (like, I would feel my breath more emphatically on my stomach and arms, whereas before it was more my nose and throat, or I would feel it in my lungs and nose, or my stomach and throat. I just could never concentrate on a specific sensation for long enough to really meditate, and even if I could, my thought currents were always there, filling my mind up more than my breath was.) BTW, I'm oversimplifying this, but the point is that I had great difficulty in falling into a significantly relaxed, meditative state.

For about a year (now in my new university) I kept trying to meditate only to make extremely small advances. I never really got back to where I was before. This was a huge bummer, but the fact that I was doing better at school (purely because of interest in the field and having more discipline, and definitely not because of my ability to pay attention), and was having better luck with the ladies (usually because I could talk to them about classes we were taking together), I was feeling overall a hell of a lot better than I had been in my last university. My anxiety after the ecstacy and the not being able to meditate fortunately did not come back with a vengeance. I did get a little anxious and paranoid when I smoked too much in uncomfortable situations, but not nearly as much as a couple years back. Anyway, as I had said, in almost all aspects, my mindset was very healthy for a little mushroom trip.

Details of any preparations made for the experience-
We had been trying to find shrooms for two months, but the lack of rain prevented us from getting any. Finally it rained for a couple of days, and a couple days after that I called the guy who sells the shrooms. He lives about an hour away from my home town next to a cow field. He finally said to come by his house, that he had plenty of shrooms. He sold me about eighty for sixty bucks. Most of them were small but enough of them were of nice size. Only about three or four were really big. We stored them in tupperware and covered them with honey. A few days later, the day before the trip, we all got together at one of my friends' houses and prepared the tea. We boiled them in a gallon of water with two bottles of honey for half an hour. We drained them, and boiled them again with another gallon of water and one more bottle of honey, again for half an hour. The next day, when the tea had cooled, we used a third container to mix the two with (since the first gallon of tea was obviously more potent than the second), pouring from container to container a bunch of times until we were satisfied, and then we put it all into the two original containers. This we did at a beach resort (about an hour and a half away from our home town) before getting into the golf cart. We got in and drove it to the beach, where we drank most of the tea.

Setting-
As I said, we went to a beach resort. We drove around in a golf cart. We went to the beach, to a swimming pool, drove around a golf course, and ate at a pizzeria. The two best times were when we were at the beach and at the pool. At the beach, it was raining, so we were the only six people there. We went into the water and swam relatively close to the pelicans. There were at least twenty pelicans. Some were flying around above us, diving violently into the water to catch fish, and some were just swimming. We looked around at all this and it was breathtaking, we joked a lot, and we sometimes went under water and saw some groups of little fish. The rain water was colder than the sea water, and diving down and coming back out of the water to feel the difference in temperatures was very entertaining. Placing my eyes at surface level and looking closely at the drops of rain exploding against and merging with the sea water was a beautiful sight that I never got tired of. The beach part was during the day.

When it got dark, we drove around the golf course and then went to the swimming pool. It had stopped raining, but fortunately no one was there at the swimming pool. When we first got there, the clear blue color of the illuminated water looked awesome. It had sort of a luring effect and we all just kind of looked right at the pool and walked straight to it and went in. Later, we went to the pizzeria.

Physical and mental effects of a substance-
Lots of energy, spontaneous enthusiastic conversation, lots of laughter, visual field entertaining (although not hallucinating), peaceful and joyful emotional state.

Intentions-
Just to enjoy the moment

Insights-
No philosophical or religious insights, just plain and simple joy and peace

Problems, etc.-
There were two scary moments. They did not eclipse the positive aspects of the experience. The first was one time when we were at the parking lot of the pizzeria smoking a few bowls and a police car was slowly approaching. This was after we ate. We freaked out, got into the car, and left. All came back to peace very quickly after that. The other was when we went indoors at the end of the night. This was back in the city. We were watching visuals with a projector and listening to music, and for some reason I started thinking about those times when I had had those anxiety problems. I was passively recalling it, and then I had a thought like 'I hope I don't get a badtrip or something and relive those panick attacks.' with that thought, like a bolt of lightning, I bacame very anxious, almost enough to call it a panick attack. I quickly stood up and walked out of the room, and I drank some water. A buddy of mine came after me and asked me if I was okay. I told him I got very scared for a moment, that I felt a little better but I was still anxious. He stayed with me in silence for a little while, and I slowly got better and better. Then we started talking about what a great day it had been and I eventually regained that blissful state of mind. In the end, it was a bunch of hours of feeling great and about fifteen minutes of anxiety.

Dosage & timing information-
It took the six of us about an hour and a half to drink about four fifths of the tea (we each drank more or less the same amount - 9-13 shrooms). Even with all the honey we mixed it in and adding lemon and sugar, the tea was still kind of gross, and that's why we took so long. We saved the rest of it for later. The trip was not very strong, but it was definitely extremely enjoyable. About half an hour after the mushroom effects had started, we smoked a few bowls and we kept smoking every once in a while from there on after. The cannabis significantly boosted our trip. The trip lasted about six hours and then we drove back home. On the way there, me and one other guy drank the rest of the tea. We were hoping it would have a cumulative effect, but it didn't. It just revived our trip, but it didn't take us as high as before. We went to my friend's house where we had made the tea and watched the visualizations. That's when I badtripped a little, as I described before. BTW, before that bad trip I smoked a lot of weed; a lot more than I had been smoking at the resort.

The point of the story-
The next day was a great day. I rented a movie, smoked a few bowls, listened to music. My mind felt refreshed. Driving my car was very enjoyable, the breeze from the open windows was great. The music sounded subtly sweeter, and the trees looked subtly better. Dialoguing with people was a more engaging and pleasant experience, especially with people I didn't know. A few days after the trip I decided to sit down and meditate, not knowing the great news my newly refreshed mind was about to give me. Meditation was simple, unlike it had been for the past year since that ecstacy trip. I drifted off every now and then as was usual, but I found it dramatically easier to come back to my object of focus. Every decision to listen to my breath resulted in a smooth and quieting moment where I shifted back and remained there as long as I kept my concentration. I've been meditating a lot since that day (which was less than a month ago), and i've improved a little. I don't get distracted as much, and my stretches of concentration are becoming longer. After I finish my meditation session, my mind is significantly quieter and more focused.

How did the mushrooms do this? Was it a neurological effect, a psychological effect, or both? Does ecstacy always worsen your concentration and mushrooms always better it, or was it a matter of dosage? That fourth of an ecstacy pill I had taken did not affect my concentration at all, and my mushroom trip, although powerful, was a fairly low dose. Maybe if I had taken a lot more shrooms, I would have had so many things to consciously and subconsciously think about, that my thought currents would be as unstoppable as the ones after the big ecstacy trip. Also, it seems strange that mushrooms would better concentration. It is more likely that they relaxed my mind so that I can concentrate to my full potential. None of these things are completely clear. What is clear, however, is that that ecstacy trip severely worsened my ability to meditate, and this mushroom trip completely fixed it. Another thing that is clear is that I could not ask for a better situation for myself. I'm getting good grades, I'm almost always feeling peace and joy, I'm enjoying meditation as much as I used to, and I'm enjoying flirting with girls and dating more than I ever had in my life.

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Note: during the time I took the ecstacy trip I was taking zoloft, but I didn't take it that same day, a couple days before, or a couple days after. When I took the mushroom trip I had been off zoloft for about two months. My psychiatrist said I should continue on zoloft, but said that my decision to stop taking it was okay. I'm still off the zoloft.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 43384
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Apr 12, 2006	Views: 16,376
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Mushrooms (39), Meditation (128) : Combinations (3), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17)