Bored with Drugs?!
LSD, MDMA (Ecstasy) & Cannabis
Citation: Ugly Bill. "Bored with Drugs?!: An Experience with LSD, MDMA (Ecstasy) & Cannabis (exp47348)". Erowid.org. Jan 11, 2008. erowid.org/exp/47348
DOSE: T+ 0:00 |
1 hit | oral | LSD | |
T+ 1:00 | 0.5 tablets | oral | MDMA | |
T+ 1:00 | 0.5 tablets | insufflated | MDMA | (ground / crushed) |
T+ 0:00 | smoked | Cannabis |
BODY WEIGHT: | 145 lb |
I dropped in the company of a couple friends and several strangers, at a small get together. Almost as soon as the effects started to kick in, almost all the people I knew at the party had to go their sperarate ways, and I was left, tripping, surrounded by people I had never met before. At first, the trip started out exceptionally visual. There were heavy visual distortions, synergesia, audio hallucinations, and physical contact was an almost overpowering carnival of the senses. I settled in to the trip and prepared myself for whatever my mind was about to throw at me.
About an hour later, once all my friends were gone, and although I was still VERY much intoxicated, it had lost a lot of the awe and majesty. I found myself becoming slightly bored. It was similar to how if I watch the same movie over and over again, even if it's a movie I really like, it never has the same impact as the first time I saw it. I find yourself expecting things, practically quoting the dialog, as I see the same old events unfold. I was sitting in a beanbag chair, watching patterns on the wall swirl around and push the boundaries of the 3rd dimension, all the while thinking that I just as easily could have done anything else with my afternoon.
'Oh, hey, check it out, the walls are melting agian. Hmmm.'
I was tripping my ass off, but I couldn't bring myself to care. Sounds were echoing, colors were changing, and yet, in my head it didn't seem like anything so spectacular. It didn't take long for this growing sense of boredom to become an obsession of my tripping mind. After the first couple of hours, I was becoming quite scared that maybe I was stuck in some psychedelic limbo... some state of mind that isn't entertaining, but is still so far from normal that I couldn't just walk away and try to focus on anything real.
I called my girlfriend, who offered to meet me and keep me company. At this point I was stoic. Just waiting for this to be over with. Then I hear that someone is selling E. I had never taken E before, and it never interested me. But I figured it might be my last hope in regaining some sense of happiness from this trip. (note: never, EVER, make decisions about whether or not to DO drugs, while you're already ON drugs.) I take the E, and everything gets worse.
I heard that MDMA makes you really happy, and content, and entertained, and connected to people, and all that... no. Not for me anyways. Nothing changed at all. If it wasn't for the fact that everyone ELSE who took it was tripping, I would have thought I had been ripped off. I went another few hours with no effects from the E, and becoming so bored I felt guilty for wasting time. We hung out, we went to the corner store, I tried roller-blading on acid, we smoked some pot. All the while I was fully immersed in this body/vidual trip, but it didn't seem worthwhile. I was taking it for granted somehow. I tried being social, but it was hard to motivate myself. Tripping aside, the situation was pretty awkward to begin with.
The next day the E really hit me, in the form of a serotonin crash that didn't help my recovering mind. I almost became suicidal. I was thinking about the fact that I just did some of the most powerful psychedelics ever discovered, and in spite of their effects, there was no impact, no value. I had done PLENTY of drugs before that. I had dropped acid several times, done mushrooms, DMT, etc. But this trip showed me that maybe, just maybe, I had seen it all. My mind didn't know what to do with itself under the influence, I wasn't fazed by wild visuals and sensory excitement. Maybe, I had finally burnt out. I told myself then and there that if I was so messed up from drugs that tripping wasn't even fun anymore, I had to lay off. I had to get back in touch with real life before I could start poking it's boundaries. That was 5 months ago, and I haven't tried my luck with any substance since then. After doing every drug available to me for 3 years, I had seen it all, and I don't even feel the need to go back. My trip had ended. I may be done with drugs. Not by choice, but because I've just gotten used to them all, and seen what they had to offer me, and are no longer of any value.
Exp Year: 2005 | ExpID: 47348 |
Gender: Male | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Jan 11, 2008 | Views: 12,658 |
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MDMA (3), LSD (2) : Loss of Magic (34), Hangover / Days After (46), Combinations (3), General (1), Large Group (10+) (19) |
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