DOSE:	1 tablet	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
	1 bowl	smoked	Cannabis	(plant material)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

How E saved my relationship: First time MDMA experience

Today I tried MDMA for the first time. I am a moderate, functional stoner and occasionally I get my hands on other drugs like mushrooms and LSD. Last night I got ahold of a pill of MDMA. Not sure how many milligrams, but it was blue with a dolphin on it. I have never done E before, but my friends rolled on their pills the same night we got them, and had a good time, so I was not worried about this pill being impure. I was under the impression that this drug gives a really good body high, and was planning to just veg out in a nice hot bath after a long day at work. Instead, my girlfriend called, and we had the best conversation in our 4 year relationship.

Sorry about boring you with yet another personal digression, but some background is necessary. I love my girlfriend to no end, but often I have trouble being on the same wavelength with her. She is pretty much my only close friend and I have an intense need for a mental connection with her, but we are both often distracted and don't take time to really talk with each other. Also, we recently had a rough spot: She is a really warm and loving person, but rather naive and insecure. The other day, told her that I look at porn pretty often, and she was pretty hurt by that, both because she didn't understand it, and because I lied to her about it all these years. I, of course, played the old 'I'm a male with hormones' card. About how sex gets kinda old with the same person after a while, and men need to look at porn to satisfy that. I guess in retrospect, that's not a good thing to say to a girlfriend. I was also kind of pissed off that she was being so prudish, and said a bunch of unnecessarily harsh things.

But tonight, as we were talking and I was trying to explan to her why guys like porn, I came to a realization: porn is kinda stupid. Here is this real, live girl, we are extremely attracted to each other, and I waste all my sexual energy on porn. I realized just the sheer variety of sexual experiences that two people can have together, and that sex never has to get old. So I'm telling her all this, and I just feel her warm up inside from that hurt that she was carrying and get excited about the possibilities of all the fun we can have together. As we talk, I'm thinking: damn, they weren't kidding this shit is empathogenic. I'm also thinking: my girlfriend may be sweet and innocent, but she is certainly not a prude. Interesting thing was we're talking about all the things we like or should try sometime, I'm not feeling really horny like one would during a normal phone sex kinda thing, feeling more just warm and loving inside, and anticipation of seeing her tomorrow.

We talked until 3am, and not just about sex and relationships but also random things like how cool it would be to explore the West and how their scenery is so much more dramatic than here on the East Coast. About how interesting it would be to go to Japan, how different their was of life is from ours, and how they managed to become high-tech and advanced without selling out and Westernizing. Just smart interesting stuff like that. As it began to get late and she started getting sleepy, we talked about how awesome it feels to have this great mental connection, and how we should dedicate a few hours every week to just hang out and have really good conversations.

General impressions of the drug:

I have an ideal: I call it transcending the animal. When having a fight or a disagreement, to somehow try to get past all the emotional tempest, find the solution on a higher, human level, and get off the phone feeling better. This is hard to achieve, and usually fights go along the same progression: get mad and say stupid shit, apologize thoughtlessly, forget about the whole thing with the problem unsolved.

This time, we transcended. I believe it was definitely due to MDMA, because it made me more patient and emotionally perceptive, less stubborn, and just gave me a positive outlook in general. It has now been about 4 hours since I took the pill. I smoked a bowl, and now just feel really content and at ease. I can understand now what they meant by 'unwanted emotional bonding' in the negative effects section: I was definitely glad I was talking with my girlfriend and not some casual semi-friend in some stoner lounge.

The experience was not overwhelming at all, I might have taken a low dosage, but the feel of the drug was very smooth, not jarring at all, and altogether completely manageable. I read about depression and a hard comedown when the drug wears off, and I can definitely see how that can happen: I just experienced this transcendental feeling of warmth and empathy, and now I'm just back to being regular me. But I'm not worried, because I know I will reap the rewards of this trip for years to come.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 50489
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: May 4, 2008	Views: 8,476
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