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Feeling of Relief, Instant Gratification
Heroin (Black Tar)
by john
Citation:   john. "Feeling of Relief, Instant Gratification: An Experience with Heroin (Black Tar) (exp51517)". Erowid.org. Aug 19, 2020. erowid.org/exp/51517

 
DOSE:
  smoked Heroin (tar / resin)
    smoked Cannabis  
    smoked Tobacco - Cigarettes  
BODY WEIGHT: 170 lb
Chasing the Dragon

My introduction to black tar heroin came as a replacement to oxycontin or what I like to call 'orange county hos'. I had been selling oc, making a fortune, and scoring free oxys everyday. However, the market soon took a turn for the worst and my connect was lost. So I had to find a substitute besides alcohol and bud to take care of my opiate addiction.
I had to find a substitute besides alcohol and bud to take care of my opiate addiction.


I soon became good friends with black tar. I was smoking it off of tin foil. As soon as that smoke entered my lungs I was in heaven. It was the highest feeling of relief I had ever felt, instant gratification. From that moment on I became a slave to the drug. My whole life revolved around getting the drug and finding ways to make money so I could buy it. It was an everyday adventure. Cruisin the streets of Phoenix, Arizona to go pick it up, the preparation and process of smoking it, and then the free-flying ride home followed by another blissful day. When I was not on it (which was very rarely), it was all about getting it. I hated myself when I wasn't on it, my life seemed like a living hell without it. However, as soon as I took that first hit nothing mattered, everything was ok, my worst enemy wasn't so bad, my addiction was seen as curable, any song was a good one and my favorites were the soundtrack to the greatest feeling ever, problems at work and home ceased, and everyone around me became a friend. Driving in my car all fucked up on H with a fat bowl of chronic, a pack of cigarettes, and my favorite music was all I needed.

Phoenix, Arizona is beautiful on H. However, what I realize now that I am off the drug which I didnt realize before was that it can't go on forever. Heroin strips you of being naturally happy because there is nothing natural that can make you feel that way. It is impossible to get that feeling without the drug, hence making it a constant battle for happiness when getting off the drug. Once I started I found myself getting into a game that led to the horrifying depth of addiction.

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

Exp Year: 2006ExpID: 51517
Gender: Female 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 19, 2020Views: 1,280
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Heroin (27) : Public Space (Museum, Park, etc) (53), Glowing Experiences (4), Addiction & Habituation (10), Retrospective / Summary (11)

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Experience Reports are the writings and opinions of the authors who submit them. Some of the activities described are dangerous and/or illegal and none are recommended by Erowid Center.


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