DOSE:

repeated

smoked

Cannabis

(plant material)

BODY WEIGHT:

122 lb

There is so much to talk about that I'm not even sure to begin. This is sort of a summary of my experience with pot. I first smoked pot when I was 16 and pretty much quit when I was 17 due to psychosis, which I'll talk about later. I'm currently half a month away from my 18th birthday.

My first experience with pot to this day is still indescribable. I can't put into words how unbelievable it was, it was much more profound than LSD or mushrooms. To me, pot has always been much more intense than so-called 'harder-psychedelics', but at the same time I know I have an unusual sensitivity with pot.

I remember smoking some chronic and I began to shake for about 15 minutes. After about 15 minutes I was introduced to this amazing peak, which contained these pulsating euphoric waves vibrating through my head. I was seeing tons of images in my brain. There was absolutely nothing negative about my first experience, but at the same time I didn't fall in love with pot.

Alright, so after the first experience I guess I could say I became addicted. I began to slowly smoke daily. In my peak I was smoking multiple times a day. I continued this cycle for about a year. I began smoking when I was 16 and a month before I was 17 I started getting some form of psychosis. This is definitely due to my genetic-make up.

It was July 18th of 2005 when I woke up in a 'hypomanic state', as my psychologist said. Following this awakening I continued to smoke, but it was different now. After smoking, I would start to see cartoons, literally everywhere. In my brain, on peoples faces, it was actually a change in my thought-process that I had no control over. It's like going to the mall and looking at people and seeing these kind of blown-up cartoons on people's faces. I believe myself to also have symptoms of mania with this, considering the fact that after I would smoke I would sleep 2 hours the next day, feel on top of the world, and have unstoppable energy.

About half a year after I had my hypomanic episode I pretty much quit pot. I did it about once a month. I started to get panic attacks from it, which ended up turning into a panic disorder. There was a good 4 months where whenever I would smell pot, it would trigger this intense panic attack, which would leave me bewildered in tears. I had no idea what was going on. To make things worse, my brother was addicted to pot and smoked everyday, so I was basically having panic attacks on a daily basis. It was hell.

I eventually got over this disorder (about 2 months ago) and I've been doing very well lately. But, I still see cartoons. I still have a slightly-different thought process.

Whenever I smoke pot, I start to remember tons of things when I started smoking. And I have this great-sense of understanding. I have tons of memories associated with specific songs and there are specific notes playing in my head during the high that make sense to me. It's like this repetitious cycle of thoughts that occurs whenever I smoke. It's like this mission of understanding the high, but there is absolutely no solution. I constantly find myself thinking back to my earlier highs trying to piece together some ridiculous puzzle with no solution. I think this is psychosis.

I smoked several days ago and became manic. I should let you know, I get manic when I drink caffeine also. I just start to see cartoons (that's the only way I can describe them) all over the damn place. I lost both my jobs after I smoked, because I made some stupid decisions. I'm doing a lot better now, and it's been several days.

The last time I smoked, it was pretty amazing. I took one hit of some good stuff, and 2 minutes later it felt as if I had been stoned for days. I was completely overwhelmed. My brother said he would say something to me and I would take 30 seconds to answer back. I had this ENORMOUS peak. I remember hallucinating with tons of yellow colors and looking at the wall. Everything was EXTREMELY loud. This high lasted 8 hours and it was from one hit. I distinctly remember that intense pot euphoria filling my head and body. I was in the bed for the first 2 hours, because I was having somewhat of a panic attack. I was kind of struggling for air, but because I've had so many panic-attacks I'm pretty good at handling them.

After the attack, I sat down on my computer and read my poetry for like 3 hours and couldn't stop thinking about how great my shit was. I even knew this was some manic shit, because my poetry isn't THAT great, but I still had fun reading it over and over. Very narcissistic.

Now, because I didn't smoke that much the last time I smoked (several days ago), it didn't end up too bad. But, I recall a time last year where I smoked over about a week, and when I stopped smoking I seriously started to hear screaming noises in my head and I was completely crazy. I was hallucinating wherever I went and was having intense delusions about God.

I should also tell you that when I do mushrooms or LSD, none of this occurs. This is strictly pot related. I've done mushrooms and LSD about 10 times combined and I have a trip like anyone else would have.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 54577
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Sep 1, 2006	Views: 11,958
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Cannabis (1) : Health Problems (27), Post Trip Problems (8), Retrospective / Summary (11), Various (28)