DOSE:

1 tablet

oral

MDMA

(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

120 lb

i went to visit friends. i took a four hour bus ride to a college in boston, from my teeny-tiny sleepy town, and my first day there was hectic and unfulfilling. i was hoping the next day would be more profitable... i was going to goto a rave and take e for the first time.

it was friday and my friends and i went to get 'supplies'. vitamin C to streamline the trip and increase our health during, gummy worms to chew on and give out, and of course glowsticks. i had just met a super cute guy, a genuine sweetheart, and he let me borrow his sparkley pacifier 'just in case'. (just for kicks we'll call him 'eboi')

it took two hours to get there, and almost an hour to get into the club. we had to stand outside in the freezing rain. and i started to feel really anxious. what if, after i start rollin, i hate it as much as i do pot? what if i curl up into a ball and go into my own person hell for 5 hours? what if i get sick and die? but eboi kept me warm outside and calmed me down. he'd done e over 20 times. i'd be okay.

inside the club i felt stupid. i'd never been to a rave before. i didn't know how to dance. i was terrified of all the people. i didn't know how to act. but eboi said after we started rollin, everything would come to me.

at midnight we rolled. i took a pill called 'tripple stack blue fish'. eboi took a 'mitsubishi'. we sat down against the wall and waited. about some 20 minutes later my stomach hurt like hell and i felt terribly disoriented. i kept feeling sicker and sicker... like my stomach was in a tight ball. i started moaning 'fuck, i'm gunna die...' over and over, and i curled up into a ball in eboi's arms. i was scared to death, thinking my night would be in hell. it was the worst feeling i have ever experienced in my life. i wanted to cry.

just like a speed train it hit me. i sat up and rubbed my face... and looked up to see a new world. the music, before just a bunch of computer generated beats, was alive. the music had a spirit, and my body could feel it's heart beating. i felt enormous waves of pleasure all over my body. i knelt on the floor holding my head, the pleasure over taking me. convulsing in sync with the music, i started howling 'its soooo fuuuccckkkinnng gooooood!!' over and over, i just couldn't help myself. eboi gave me a big hug and started rubbing his hands all over me: my face, arms, stomach, back. i was fascinated by his bracelets, for no reason at all and then he grabbed my hand and pulled me out onto the dance floor. in waves, the extacy got better and better, more and more. i danced, arms in the air, feeling the music pulse through me. i was so happy i started crying. i danced around in circles, alternately flailing my arms and holding my head in my hands. the waves came more and more. i started going up to people, dancing next to them, asking if they were rolling. i gave out all my candy to people. at one point i found money in my pocket and wanted to give that out too. but eboi made me put it away, which didn't upset me cause i knew i shouldn't give it give it out even though i wanted to. we smoked newport cigarettes (which i usually hate), and it tasted like cool breezes of menthol was radiating thru my body. i danced around the club talkling to everyone who smiled at me. i asked each person if they were happy and if they were having a good time. all i could think about was making sure that every single person i saw was feeling as good as i was. i kept gettting thirsty, and remembering that too much water is bad, i sucked on my pacifier all night. and i poured four dollar water all over myself, just cause it felt good. i talked to eboi about anything that popped into my head, when usually i am pretty quiet. and... i danced for hours.

taking ecstacy at that club was the most amazing and wonderful experience. it was like a journey into heaven. my own version of heaven. i felt overwhelmingly happy, i cared about everyone, i didn't feel alienated or afraid. it was all a warm rush. the instese sickness i felt in the beginning was all worth it, and it served as a wonderful contrast to the full body utopia i experienced shortly after. my favorite part was right after the sickness went away, and i felt what could be described as a full body orgasm. i never wanted it to end. i wanted every moment of my life, from then on, to feel as good as that.

around 4 the effects wore off and i felt damn tired but still very happy and warm, although i stopped talking so much. during the car ride home i sucked on my pacifier and drifted off, wishing i was still rolling, thinking of all the fun i had, and i was going to have again and again...
i never want to do any drugs ever again, none of them come close to how you feel when you're on e. nothing does. nothing.

Exp Year: 2000	ExpID: 547
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Sep 25, 2000	Views: 11,962
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MDMA (3) : Rave / Dance Event (18), Glowing Experiences (4), First Times (2)