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Seeing the Spiritual Side of Drugs
Ketamine
Citation:   SteeleyJ. "Seeing the Spiritual Side of Drugs: An Experience with Ketamine (exp56399)". Erowid.org. Aug 13, 2018. erowid.org/exp/56399

 
DOSE:
  oral Ketamine
BODY WEIGHT: 130 lb
Ketamine - First time 500mg ( orally ) - First K-hole

This was one of those experiences in my life that I’ll never forget. Before this drugs were barely ever thought of as insightful in my eyes, They were just tools of relaxation and drowning problems. Ketamine was the first substance that acually forced me to look at myself-- both good and bad.

I was 14 or 15 at the time of my first trip into the abyss that we know of as The k-hole. I was experienced with most of the common benzodiazepines and opiates, along with a few not so common ones. I had smoked tons of pot taken dxm and drank more than I should have. I figured I knew it all. I'd read about the spiritual / earth shattering side of psychoactive substances but never experienced it.....to me it was a myth.

[Erowid Note: Two samples of powder (even of the same chemical) with equivalent volumes won't necessarily weigh the same. For this reason, eyeballing is an inaccurate and potentially dangerous method of measuring, particularly for substances that are active in very small amounts. See this article on The Importance of Measured Doses.]
It was somewhere in May 2003 when I got ahold of 5 vials of ketaset among a few other commodities....but the ketaset was what I was most excited about. I got back to my friends house at around 3 am and I promptly found a screwdriver and got the metal top off one of the vials and blindly dosed me and one of my friends approx. 500mg a piece in a shot glass. My friend who is much smaller than me was hit first ( within the first 10 minutes).Before I even noticed the slightest change in my perception of reality he was comatose and staring at ceiling. I tried to get his attention by slapping him and throwing water on him to no avail. I was starting to feel funny.....everything in my vision was off-kilter and my body felt like I had just been plugged into an electrical socket. I did what I should’ve before ingesting the substance, I checked a harm reduction website about dosing.

I found out the dose wasn’t dangerous when my vision started blurring to the point that I couldn’t read. On the way back to the room to lay down and enjoy my trip the room was tilting sideways and I was stumbling and falling into walls. It all looked very surreal...like a van gough painting. Looking back on it...Starry night comes to mind. When I got in the room I fell onto the bed and looked at the TV ( which was tuned to a comedy central comedian ). I thought he was talking directly to me...but he was talking in what seemed like a foreign language. Everything was tunnelling out until it was just be and the prohet comedian talking in tounges. And then he was gone too.

I was in a dark place except for one sliver of color in the darkness far away. So I floated nearer and nearer to the color. On my way through the darkness I noticed stars and nebulas and all the things one sees in pictures of space. It was wonderful looking around....but there was still that color in the distance that I somehow felt I needed to see. When I got closer and closer I noticed it was in the shape of a person. As I got closer I saw it was me...but it wasn’t me. Hard to explain the strange drug logic behind this ideation but it was not me despite looking exactly like me. A notion passed over me that I was wrong with the things I’d been doing to myself and my family. I felt like I'd just seen a glimse of the devine. I then merged with the body and all was dark again except for another streak of white light far in the darkness. I drifted back that way seeing all the things I saw on the way to myself until I got closer to the white....which then came to life as a pile of blankets and sheets. I felt like I was reborn....yeah corny but still very profound in my eyes. I was still very high and it took awhile to get back to baseline but for a very long time that sence that I had seen and experienced something great and beautiful stayed with me. All in all this was one experience that changed a lot of the way I perceive things.


This is my first experience report...and I'm not all great with writing but I thought it was a good enough experience to put to words. Besides that it brought up some of the old feelings I had in the weeks following the experience. :)

Exp Year: 2003ExpID: 56399
Gender: Male 
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Aug 13, 2018Views: 1,188
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Ketamine (31) : General (1), First Times (2), Mystical Experiences (9), Small Group (2-9) (17)

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