DOSE: T+ 0:00	10 mg	oral	Oxycodone	(pill / tablet)
T+ 1:00	10 mg	oral	Oxycodone	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

238 lb

I was feeling generally shitty with a nasty, hacking cough (going through mild amphetamine withdrawal) and though I had no cough suppressants that didn't also contain a stimulant, I decided to see if some of the Oxycodone I had from an eye surgery lying around would help. It previously gave me a lot of nausea after the surgery so I mostly took acetaminophen instead then.

It was about 8pm. I took one 10mg tab whole orally, and after an hour didn't feel much. So I took another. I felt relaxed, but not euphoric or anything, and my cough was suppressed without nausea, so I figured mission accomplished.

But then something weird happened when I went to go to sleep a few hours later. It seemed the effects had intensified. I felt warm, and my limbs felt heavier. When I closed my eyes, I saw black-and-white fractals and objects bouncing around.

If I either cleared my mind and let go of everything, like in an open meditation state, or focused on the fractals they would gradually transform into a dreamlike hallucination. It was definitely an altered state of consciousness, and I was aware of it. But if I thought too much about it, I would snap out of it, and go back to the gray fractals, in a normal state of consciousness.

Well, I learned how to be aware, without waking from it. But interestingly I couldn't seem to control it. It seemed so similar to lucid dreaming, but I could only be an observer.

The dreams/hallucinations started out being somewhat random imagery, and very brief, more like streams of consciousness. I recorded comments about them on audio tape.

Then at some point, I snapped out of it, and I didn't see the fractal imagery anymore. After a while though I started seeing circuit boards instead, and the quality of the hallucinations changed, from being brief, to lasting a longer time. Though fragmented, there were 3 distinct ones where I saw myself as someone else. Like a previous life. I was a housewife in the most vivid, in some hickville, living in a trailer house with an abusive husband who didn't return her love, this hallucination covered this person's life and death, and lasted a long time. In the second most vivid, I was a female reporter, going around and trying to cover things and being very preoccupied by the importance I gave them, always chasing something and never feeling contented. In the last, I was a black man working in an auto shop, trying to show others what excellent work I was doing, but getting ignored because of my skin color (was a very long time ago).

Previously, my experience with hallucinogens was limited to a rather large dose of salvia divinorium I took but saw few effects from-- mostly just euphoria and amplification of some touch sensations.

The quality of the hallucinations seemed very unusual to me. The experience as living as someone else, even in a hallucination, was a very interesting shift in perspective. It makes me look at my life a little differently, and while I don't know if these hallucinations had any validity or not (probably not), it was still like taking a step back from my own life. What I thought was interesting was that none of the people I saw myself as were happy, ideal, perfect people, but all had gone through suffering and were unhappy in their own ways.

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 56904
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Mar 10, 2021	Views: 966
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Oxycodone (176), Dreams (85) : General (1), Alone (16)