DOSE:	1 tablet	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
	1 tablet	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
	1 tablet	oral	MDMA	(pill / tablet)
	0.6667 tablets	insufflated	MDMA	(ground / crushed)
	0.6667 tablets	insufflated	Ketamine	(ground / crushed)
	4 bowls	smoked	Cannabis	(plant material)
	10 carts.	inhaled	Nitrous Oxide	(gas)

BODY WEIGHT:

63 kg

Ok firstly, at this point in my life I had been using various drugs, mainly Weed, ‘Nos’ (Nitrous oxide), MDMA/Ecstasy & Meth/Speed, for about 3 years. So I considered myself no newbie to getting outta my head at clubs and coming home in the morning to weed, more pills and anything else that came my way. This sense of having experience gave me a somewhat over confident and careless way of doing drugs, although I NEVER have or will use a needle for ANY recreational purpose.

This particular evening starts out like any other. I head to the usual club at the usual time, to meet up with the usual crew and do the usual thing. The usual thing for us back then was to take pills at home (snorting, shafting, swallowing them or whatever) before going out, and hope that by the time we got to the club, we weren’t fucked up enough to be refused entry. If we successfully gained entry, which we did almost every time, we would rave the night away to good dance/house/trance music doing whatever our heart’s desired. If unsuccessful at getting into a club, we’d try the next club down the street and so on until we got in somewhere. But we rarely encountered too much trouble due to our sheer desperation of wanting to have a good time. I also think the ‘guy to attractive girl ratio’ of our group, meeting the clubs preferences had something to do with our ‘luck’ at getting inside the club.

So there we are, at OUR club, and just like any other weekend we were absolutely and utterly having the best time of our lives. I had eaten 1 pill before going out, and ate another 2 during the course of the night. My friends J, T, C & S had all had the same pills as me, but I’m unsure of how many pills they had taken. Either way, we were all just as high as each other, orbiting quasars on the edge of our universe trying to avoid black holes and such. At around 1am in the club, I meet up with a friend I hadn’t seen in ages, we chat and laugh and eventually, my long lost friend D offers me 2 pills that he said contained Ketamine (K). So, with the following morning in mind, I gratefully accept his offer and hand over the cash.

[Erowid Note: Driving while intoxicated, tripping, or extremely sleep deprived is dangerous and irresponsible because it endangers other people. Don't do it!]

When the club closes at 5am, my friends, who lived locally to the club compared to me, all went their separate ways for various reasons, sleep/work/sex/more drugs etc… and I drive back to my town that is a whopping 1hr 10mins away from the club. The 1hr 10mins really goes quick when I'm high, so it seems like I'm there in no time at all. This made my 4 cylinder car feel like it was my own private jet, which was really fun to drive at high speed. Again… false confidence and stupid decisions, especially on a freeway in a 2 door hatchback.

So I get back to my place at around 8am after messing around trying to find nitrous and a special little ‘metal deely’ that allowed me to access the sweet yet explosive contents (nitrous oxide) of those little steel pressurised ‘bulbs’. On arriving home I suddenly realised I was alone, so in a desperate bid to find a friend to be high with I called up my newest mate (J2-male) and asked if he would join me in continuing my high. He delightfully agreed and asked if he could bring his friend (M-female). I was utterly overjoyed at the prospect of another person coming over and I said yes.

My new friends J2 & M arrive and as J2 walks through the door I hit him in chest with a big bag of weed and directions to the scissors, cigarettes and bong. The sudden twinkle in his eye tells me I’m speaking his language. We next get comfy in the living room and as J2 eagerly chops the weed, I remember my encounter with my long lost friend D. I immediately, and without a word stand up and head to the kitchen to get 2 table spoons. I still have 2 ecstasy (E) tablets in my pocket and the 2 K tablets from D. With the spoons I crushed the 4 pills into a very fine powder careful not to get the 2 mixed together. I divide the 2 piles of E and K into 12 lines. 6 lines of K & 6 lines of E, that’s 2 lines of each drug, for each person. I am very particular about this kind of thing, making sure each line was the same size as the rest.

I put the lines of E & K in front of J2 and M and inform them of what they are about to take. Both J2 and M were very new to this kind of thing however my confidence in what I was doing must have made them trust me quite a bit. So we each snort the E first, then 30 mins later we snort the K. We smoke a few cones/bowls of weed in between snorting the ‘powdered good times’.

The synergy of these two drugs at those particular doses, which I do not really know with much precision, was quite unusual. I was rather sedated from the Ketamine, yet because of the E, I was so ecstatic to be there in that physical & mental state, that I remained conscious just encase I might miss something.

Forty five minutes after snorting the drugs and a few cones later, I decide to unleash the Nitrous. I didn’t realise it at that particular moment, but I had just set the scene for one of the most hilarious, and intense experiences with nitrous I have ever had. I must say at this time that I now feel like drugs simply unlock a doorway and force you through it. It is who you are, your very personality that not only reacts to, but is simultaneously a result of your current situation and previous experiences. It is this that ‘paints’ the trip for you, and your life for that matter. The process of exactly how my mind went from this experience with Nitrous to that statement truly eludes me, as I’m sure it will you too, but it is interesting non-the less!

I filled one helium grade balloon with two bulbs of nitrous after purging my recently acquired ‘metal deely’ of all non-nitrous gases. I did this ‘purging’ to be sure my primary balloon was filled with only the purest form of N2O the bulbs had to offer. I place the rather bulging balloon to my lips and exhaled all the air I could manage from my lungs and inhaled the contents of the balloon like it was my first breath of life. My lungs cannot take all the gas at once so I hold my breath after my first inhale for about 15 seconds, which seems like forever. I then hyperventilate my lung full into a secondary balloon that is in my other hand until the volume of gas I am breathing becomes less than half. At this point, everything is kind of fuzzy and it’s as if I can hear every single electrical impulse that is firing in my body all at once. Everything is also echoing severely which I find awesomely hilarious. These effects are usual for me when doing nitrous and it’s hard not to break down in a fit of laughter.

I then inhale the remnants of the secondary balloon along with the remaining pure gas from the primary balloon. My new friend M is sitting next to me on my right and J2 is sitting opposite me. That’s the last thing I remember before obviously blacking out. As I’m the one who blacked out, I don’t remember it happening, but my entire life, and the entire universe was erased from my mind and for half of one tenth of a nanosecond, there was nothing. I actually experienced NOTHING, which is bizarre because logically, if I experienced it, it had to be something, but it was exactly the opposite, it was nothing. Then as quick as I had experienced ‘nothing’, my entire mind and universe was suddenly back. However it was concentrated into a space in the far right hand side of my field of vision that was no wider than a pencil, but stretched from the depths of forever to the reaches of infinity. That is, a line of reality that had no beginning and no end in two directions, up & down. Now that I think of it, my reality was in one dimension.

A single line of existence immersed in nothingness. I was completely emotionless as well, until, with a bang that could have only have been matched in both magnitude and depth of meaning by the ‘Big Bang’ that supposedly created our universe, my friend M’s head popped into a 3 dimensional balloon head which was sticking right out from the line of existence, right next to my own head. I had no sense of physical self so when I say “right next to my own head” it’s just to describe the position of this phenomenal occurrence relative to my frame of reference (view point). This big bang was also accompanied by what I can only describe as a massive adrenaline rush. Just like the way I thought about drugs before I ever took or had heard of them, I never imagined I could possibly experience this kind of thing/feeling.

I was now looking at a single dimension of existence stretched to forever, with my new friend M’s head sticking out of it sideways staring at me. Her face looked like it was made of those balloons that clowns make animals out of. The sheer hilarity of this would soon hit me. Then, with the equivalent force of a universe being created, the rest of that line of reality over about 2 seconds popped into 3D existence as I heard a mans voice screaming with the utmost intensity ‘WHOW!!!’ every time my realty popped and became bigger. I say it sounded like ‘popping’ because there was a slight echo. The infinite line of reality went from the thickness of a pencil to being stretched back over my eyes via this popping sensation from right to left and I realised I was back in the room with my 2 friends.

It was at this precise moment, I realised it was me who had been screaming ‘WHOW!!!’ and what had just happened was instantaneously realised by me as the single most hilarious occurrence that ever was, and ever will be in our universe. I was laughing so hard, and I was also still high enough from the nitrous that I actually believed I was going to turn physically inside out. This belief added to my already hilarious state because I figured, ‘If it's going to be that funny, then I am going to do it no matter what the consequence” and this thought in it’s self was also hilarious.

I slowly came down over the next 30 seconds to a minute and I realised my friends were laughing with me. It was overall similar in effect to an acid induced thought ‘spiral’ where one thought builds on the next, only instead of going down or retrospectively inward, it went in the direction of hilarity. In my opinion, it was a once in a lifetime experience. Maybe even once in a universe… who knows? The one thing I do know is that nowadays, there isn’t a lot that I can’t see the funny side of, or hilarious side for that matter. I cannot remember if I was like this before that experience, or if it was an everlasting side effect imprinted on my psyche.

My two new best friends continued to do nitrous but to no-where near the effect of what had just happened to me as far as I could tell. I was left utterly ‘hilarified’ for 10 minutes before I took another hit of nitrous. The effects of the second hit were similar, however it was not the same. I kept on taking hit after hit of nitrous until I was completely anaesthetised and could no longer maintain consciousness. Nothing ever will be the same as funny as that or even come close to matching up to that one single hilarious moment in my existence.

It sometimes scares me however to think that if I can experience that emotion to that extreme, then I must be able to also experience any other of my emotions to the same extent. I pray that if I do its not depression, or anything else negative, as that would have disastrous effects on my life and sense of well being. I am now attending university studying pharmacology and my drug use is grinding to a halt. I now only occasionally on the holidays take recreational drugs however my desire to take drugs is being replaced with my desire to make something of myself. I am only young (20) but I can say now with a non drug induced confidence that I have had my fair share of drugs and therefore emotions. I consider myself lucky that I hadn’t spent all my decent brain cells on drugs although I am still emotionally picking up the pieces of myself with a dustpan and brush with a lot of help from my wonderful girlfriend. This sometimes has some bad effects on my relationship with her however we can always work things out.

In hindsight, there were a LOT of messy situations that could have seriously fucked me up for the rest of my life due to my desire to have a good time. However I can smile now at where my life is headed, and at the lessons I’ve learned so far. When I start to think about how wrong things could have gone for me on those many occasions, and that ‘oh so familiar’ cage of depression made of self irrelevance and unworthiness to others begins to build up around me, no matter how hard it is, I manage to chuckle and think to myself, well… “That’s always the chance you take…” and just like that - I’m free.

Exp Year: 2005	ExpID: 64341
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 16, 2007	Views: 19,123
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MDMA (3), Ketamine (31), Nitrous Oxide (40) : Combinations (3), Glowing Experiences (4), Mystical Experiences (9), Various (28)