DOSE:

4 g

oral

Mushrooms

(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

225 lb

Three weeks ago I had the most insane psychedelic experience of my life. One that changed the way I perceived not only time, but space and energy all as one, and has stretched my mind into believing that life is more than just worrying about yesterday and tomorrow but is more about experiencing the now, and through this experience I learned and now believe that the now is all that matters.

I started my day by drinking some green tea and listening to Pink Floyd, I wanted to get a good trip in before college started back again because I knew I would be stressed out from all my homework and research papers, etc. So I decided to get 4 grams from a close friend that I knew was reliable. I decided upon returning to my house to just eat the 4 grams, I thought to myself, I'd rather have one amazing mind-altering experience than 3-4 somewhat interesting ones. So I ingested them and then played the waiting game for about a hour.

Where I first started noticing differences was when I went to the bathroom, I felt like my eyes were moving closer together, it was weird, I had never had that happen before.. and I was afraid that my eyes were about to pop out of my head or something. It was the first step in a bad direction and started trying very heard to steer clear of that negative pathway. After I used the restroom, I started washing my hands and looked into the mirror.. as I glanced at myself, I felt like my mind was staying in me but was shooting through the reflection and giving me thoughts through my other self, this self being me, only in the mirror. I saw myself moving but I did not feel like I was moving. My face morphed into quite interesting objects which stood out, something like a jigsaw puzzle only not actual shapes but different peices of my unconcious spread out into different areas of my face. Every time I touched my face it seemed that the cracks in this 'puzzle' gave a different sensation, some good, some bad. I realized that the only true peice I could trust was my mouth.. it made me feel.. like I was a deity on a far off planet, here to spectate what we feel as humans only advanced in sense of time, space, energy, feeling, taste, and sight.

I left the bathroom from what felt like could have been hours. I wanted to sit down, I actually felt out of my own body at the time, I wasn't aware of this until afterwards. I was curious if I actually left the bathroom at all, or if possibly my reflection is what left the bathroom and I was still in there glancing at what could be nothing. I was worried I had died and that the only thing that could make me believe I wasn't dead was to check. But I got lost along the way, I lost track of things I had planned.. it didn't feel like when I normally forget something. It felt like I forgot apart of myself back in the bathroom and I wasn't sure if it was just a peice of the jigsaw puzzle or just my imagination playing tricks on me. I looked in there and saw nothing unusual, everything was actually normal. I proceeded to go back to the couch, when I saw my back door to my backyard open. I knew that I left it open, but I wasn't sure when I did. It almost felt like it could have always been open, or it was meant to be open but it didn't matter.

I just wanted to explore. I went to my backyard and looked up at the stars. It was an amazing site. Something you can't describe because it was so dark.. the sky was pitch dark like a peice of black paper, but the stars themselves were as bright as possible, all seeming like suns in brightness. That was when I realized how small I was. When I saw the stars I knew that I was considered nothing to the universe.. nothing but an ant. So I looked away. Turning my attention to instead of what could be seeing, and to what I was feeling. I saw energy, energy like when I am using a barbeque in the backyard and I watch the flames from the side, and I see the sqwiggly lines that make up invisible air, like its radiating heat. Noises seemed to let off these invisible vibrational lines that looked much like that. Every crack, every step echoed, with a force making me wonder whether or not I truely was as small as an ant, because it certainly didn't make me feel like one.

I remember looking in the house and seeing the kitchen, I saw some roast beef out that I was going to use earlier that day with a sandwich, I could actually taste the roast beef from the backyard, only the taste wasn't coming from my mouth but from my head. It made me hungry but when I got closer to the kitchen it seemed as though I was going somewhere else. Some wall or object would change every step I took, the doors to every room breathed like they were alive, at the time I was thinking maybe the doors were alive, the walls gave off lines that crossed eachother like scratch paper, and when I got really close to the walls I could actually see little bugs or something moving on them, they were extremely small, about half the size of an ant, but soon after I lost my fascination.

I wanted to watch some TV. When I went to sit down, I felt like I was sitting on a water bed, it was like a slideshow, every slide as I went from the standing position to sitting was uniquely remembered like the memory was always there, but also was happening in a way.. as weird as that may sound. I turned on the TV and watched South Park. I remember loving the show but for some reason it was much different, their heads were really big and they were talking extremely fast, faster than I could comprehend, it almost seemed as though in a different language, or maybe English backwards. It actually made me laugh, as did almost everything else.

I was curious if I could ever come out of this train of thoughts, that I wasn't lost in my mind but just not understanding. And at that moment. The moment I realized that I don't understand is the moment I stopped caring. I didn't care anymore to understand anything. I didn't understand because I didn't know what was real anymore and what was false. Images created through my thoughts I call it. so I went to my room, where I felt safe. Where I lived for over 15 years of my life. And in that room I started feeling like laying down, I felt like I was dreaming in real life, but I decided maybe I should try and dream for real until the trip was over.

It didn't work for a while, I felt trapped, like I didn't go to my room with my own free will, every time I closed my eyes, I saw visual hallucinations, textures and shapes and patterns. They seemed to all morph into eachother forming whatever I thought them to form like faces or objects in real life, like a car. It was as though I was not in control of my outer self, but my inter self was more controlled than ever. So I kept my eyes closed. I wanted to be renewed, and in control again. I wanted to be reborn so to speak. And so I took some sleeping pills.. hoping that I would be able to sleep and wake up, sometime past this, so I could share what I learned. I wanted sleep at this point, and so I closed my eyes and watched the patterns move until I did, I didn't know how long my eyes were closed but I just wanted to be able to come back to planet earth, and as soon as I stopped caring, I feel asleep.

When I woke up, I was completely drained. My brain felt fried.. like it just went through having to make the hardest decision of my life. But I saw the world differently the next day. Objects stood out more, I was able to ask more clearer questions to myself and be able to understand others and myself better. It was almost like I had just gained 100 IQ points. After that experience I haven't done it since. Because I feel that the best experience comes from taking time in between trips to maximize effects on the brain. Was fun, I'm looking forward to the next trip in a few months.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 65242
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 4, 2010	Views: 4,367
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Mushrooms (39) : General (1), Difficult Experiences (5), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), Mystical Experiences (9), Alone (16)