DOSE:

smoked

Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

75 kg

I love this website and wanted to contribute something back to the community as it were, what is strange is that after so many years of drug taking, reality numbing smoking I have to now side with those awful people who tell us to exercise precaution with 'Puff'. I hope some of you will recognise some of yourselves in my story and bear it in mind.

Since my first joint aged 14 (now 37) I was enthralled, Nobody could tell me that my smoking was to heavy, addict-like or wrong, I would conceal crossing borders, taking flights, just to know I had it. I think perhaps looking back a lot of the reasons for my use of dope was to numb reality, what I mean is I am gay and it took me many years aged 28 to come out, life is hard and smoking can take the edge off it. I have never considered myself a lunatic, but too much smoking has caused me countless problems when I am honest about it. Not only the economic cost over the years, plus the tobacco usage (I am from the UK) but I went to prison for possession of 9 ounces of resin (a long story).

But all of these pale into insignificance to what happened to me in January of this year. I have used virtually every drug under the sun (no injecting or crack). I first went loopy in New Zealand, got myself into some awful scraps, really pissed my friends off eventually was convinced that I had a vision/visitation from God, nonsense, this was a drug [cannabis] induced psychosis. I managed to get myself out of the mess and took it easy for a while but 9 months later a whole sequence of events led me to my second psychosis this time I have to admit that it was a consequence of a whole lot of trauma (fell off a motorbike) didn't want to stop travelling as my money was running out I had to return to UK, I was in Sri Lanka and eating plenty of Diazipan/valium drinking the local fire water and smoking eventually I flipped and put myself in terribly dangerous situations, lost/spent and squandered lots of money and was eventually sent home by the embassy, not enjoyable, degrading and upsetting. I returned home and was not sectioned but was pretty damn scared by now. A Shrink told me with my past record that if I were to have another drug induced Psychosis it could well tip me over the edge I might never come back to reality as it were.

This scared me plenty but 5 years later and with a lot of stress and alcohol I started smoking copious amounts of basic bush, I am not talking white widow, turbo skunk here (if only) well basically on a wonderful road trip with my dog and boyfriend with a car tent and 4k of Argentinas wonderful scenery we set of for a great trip and the more I smoked and drunk the more quasi-religious I become, this then became a three week psychosis, I was convinced that not only was I the real king of Scotland, I was the heir to HSBC, my boyfriend was Jesus reincarnated etc. well this time it was too much, we returned from our holiday my boyfriend had to leave as he couldn't handle me anymore I went into a hyper manic phase and was basically a risk to myself and everyone around me. This lead to me being strapped into a bed at a psychiatric ward of a hospital (not pretty) having drugs forced down my throat and being diagnosed as being Bi Polar.

Why am I telling you all this, basically because I am an extremely bright and fun loving guy and I wouldn't want anyone else to have to go through this. I find it hard to believe my first Web 2. Experience is advising non-drug taking, as I have been a consummate believer for 23 years. However you need to be careful. Perhaps I already had a predisposition to being Bi polar (I in fact disagree with the diagnosis, who wants to be labelled a manic depressive, the old stigma orientated word for Bi polar) what I do know is I have taken it to the edge too many times and I have not won. I have lost an awful lot in fact, I was a successful Banker (yuk) had two houses bla bla and now I am an ex con, living in Latin America at least until my prison record is got rid of (10 years). So in essence this is a cautionary tale to anyone who is a heavy dope smoker, maybe mixes things up with a frantic lifestyle or booze or a few downers. It can be a lethal combination. Thankfully I have had medical cover great doctors and I am not having to take any medicine, but I am never allowed to smoke again, the consequences could be severe and I am now denied my drug of choice for life, why? well I just pushed to it too far.

I hope my story serves as a word of warning and please be careful of your mind, On the upside I am learning to live without changing my reality its hard to unlearn so many years of behaviour but its ok, it really is. I am drinking far less and better for it. So be safe with your mental health, smoking Marijuana can set off mental health problems, whether you were predisposed to them or not, just be careful, it may be from mother nature but she has a sting in her tail if you abuse her!

Exp Year: 2006	ExpID: 65411
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 8, 2007	Views: 5,866
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Cannabis (1) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Health Problems (27), Various (28)