DOSE:	2 bowls	smoked	Cannabis
	repeated	inhaled	Nitrous Oxide

BODY WEIGHT:

50 kg

I have been doing nitrous oxide for years on and off (off sometimes because it becomes too addictive for me). I have firstly never met anybody who can down as much nitrous oxide as me and who has ever seen the things that I have seen and this experience has absolutely blown my mind and it was so amazing and profound that I feel slightly uneasy telling people because they might think I’m crazy or lying. Also I have found that while on nitrous I feel closer to the “truth” but I can never fully communicate the experience so please take this into account.

Basically I have gotten nitrous oxide down to a fine art. My theory is that I've pushed past certain stages (like passing out, the wah wah sounds, no awareness of anything else while taking it, etc) and because I am able to do so much and I do it by myself these days because no one can keep up and I find most people just want to pass out or experience the extreme effects of it whereas I have found that by doing it my way I experience much more profound and lasting effects.

What I do is I load one bulb at a time and just breathe in like a normal breath repetitively instead of passing out on 3 or doing balloons. This usually lasts for a couple of hours depending on how much I get. I find the effects are more profound with marijuana. Even just a little bit and with doing meditation and understanding more about Buddhism and just the universe and energy this has all culminated to this one profound experience. I have also found that if I breathe it in and the best way I can put it is not in a greedy way I also have a better experience.

Anyway my best friend had left to go interstate, I had taken an e the night before so I think some must have still been in my system plus I smoked maybe 2 cones. I was in bed with my 22 boxes, my discman (old school) and my cd’s and I started doing it. I always see visuals and I started seeing the energy in the air as I always do and I found that this time it was constantly changing shape and form. The colours were green and pink as always. A friend who is quite spiritual says green is the colour of healing. It started out normally with clearer thoughts and I realised that although I was crying and I felt the pain of loss it was a beautiful thing because it meant that I really loved my friend and then I thought about what love was and meditated on this and although love is just a word. I realised love was give and take, good experiences, bad experiences, anger, frustration, happiness… it is everything. And to think love is just happiness and a feeling is actually quite shallow because it goes far deeper and includes the whole spectrum of darkness and light.

Then I realised while meditating my thoughts were drifting but I let them drift as I do in meditation and brought them gently back. Then I felt such love for the universe that I thanked it for this amazing profound experience of realisation. The music was beautiful, the energy in the looked so beautiful constantly changing shape and in the experience I realised I was in nirvarna. I felt so euphoric and things were so beautiful but I didn’t get greedy and take in more. I was experiencing something on a different plane of this existence. I realised that maybe this was nirvarna because all that exists is this moment and nothing else so nirvarna isn’t lasting but it is now.

Then I saw my friends face in a vortex and all of the people I have surrounded myself with lately and they all aligned like universes or planets aligning and I realised that I am on the right path. Things are as they should be in this very moment. Everything, every moment, every experience, every “mistake”, all of my spiritual teachings have been for this moment. This moment which was timeless and so beautiful. I kept thanking the universe and all I felt was love, euphoria and a perfect acceptance. As for what other visuals I saw I can’t even remember. I knew this was okay and that I shouldn’t grasp onto the moment but if my thoughts went that way it was ok I would just bring them back and be ok with everything that was going on. But in this realisation I realised that that was the whole concept of nirvarna is that it is impermanent and ever changing as the every moment is and in this moment I fully accepted and understood everything that I have been learning about. When it died off I let myself go to sleep and it was ok.

Like I said you can’t ever fully communicate the experience of nitrous so this isn’t that great a description of what happened. But all I can say is that it was unlike anything I’ve ever experienced on any drug ever or on nitrous. I’m not sure I can fully understand it and I’m going to try to but what happened was so deep and spiritual and profound that I feel grateful for having that and nitrous is the only drug which has helped me to get there.

I really feel there is something about nitrous which is really special and if one can tune it right one can experience something really amazing. I was talking to someone about how much oxygen we actually breathe in and the percentage is actually quite small, we breathe in a lot of other stuff as well and what we breathe out is different and this gas is something that should be studied more properly. I feel it is misused a lot and we don’t know as much about it as we could.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 69265
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Mar 30, 2021	Views: 844
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Nitrous Oxide (40) : General (1), Combinations (3), Retrospective / Summary (11), Alone (16)