DOSE:	10 mg	oral	Desoxypipradrol	(powder / crystals)
		inhaled	Nitrous Oxide	(gas)
	200 mg	insufflated	Ketamine	(powder / crystals)
		inhaled	Nitrous Oxide	(gas)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

I am simultaneously thrilled and terrified by the powers of this drug, and slightly off-put by the insane duration of its effects. Right now it’s 5 pm on Tuesday, and I’m still feeling the peripheral side-effects of a dose taken at 11 am on Saturday! I’m very experienced with dopaminergic stimulants, but this one has really thrown me for a loop.

Anyway, since the drug is still so obscure I feel it would be helpful if I offered a little bit of information regarding its pharmacology and history. The compound (sometimes abbreviated as 2-DPMP), is an extremely long-acting stimulant drug that is chemically and mechanistically related to methylphenidate and pipradrol. It was developed by Novartis in the 1950s, and researched for applications such as the treatment of narcolepsy and ADHD, however it was dropped from development after the related drug methylphenidate was developed by the same company. Desoxypipradrol was considered impractical for therapeutic use due to its incredibly long half life (16-20 hours) and its apparent potential for abuse. The drug was shelved and essentially forgotten until very recently, when online communities of research chemical enthusiasts rediscovered it and have begun tentative experimentation.

Despite the repeated warnings of nightmare 6 day insomnia-ridden trips after taking too much, I felt I was responsible and experienced enough to handle any possible side effects. The descriptions of the drug’s positive aspects (methamphetamine-like euphoria and motivation, clarity and precision of thought, very low toxicity, and non-addictive pharmacokinetics) made it seem too good to pass up. I ordered a gram online. It came within a few days, and I decided to sit on it until I had found a milligram scale. The powder was light and flaky, odorless, and resembled cocaine in its consistency.

On Saturday morning, the scale came, and in our excitement, my flatmates and I hastily measured out doses of 10 milligrams each, consuming them after breakfast in a small wrapping of paper. There were three of us, and we each took one such dose. We then went out to the garden behind the building, and sat in the sun on blankets, relaxing in the morning glow. After about 45 minutes I began to feel a budding euphoria and relaxation, a sense that this day was going to be exceptional. An almost-MDMA like feeling of connected-ness and love towards my friends began to build. I felt as though we hadn’t bonded nearly enough as a group until this moment, and regretted all the time we have spent in seclusion during the semester.

We all did a few balloons of Nitrous Oxide, which produced the standard short-lived euphoria and laughter. The sun felt amazing on my skin as the nitrous hit me, and I reclined on the grass, perfectly content with the entire world. We sat out there for about another 2 hours, and the stimulant effects continued to grow. I felt an increasing need to move my limbs, to interact with my environment. I ran about, gathering flowers and generally acting like a child. It was a different feeling than I’m used to getting on stimulants; more emotional and “soft” somehow than the typical edgy Adderall buzz. I was having the time of my life. There was an increase in tactile sensations, and my hands seemed to gain a life of their own. They compulsively massaged the back of my girlfriend, who was reclining on the blanket. Conversation assumed that highly charged “plan-making” mode so typical of a group amphetamine experience. Everything seemed like a good idea, and everything seemed possible, within our reach.

After a while of this, my friend L received news that some Ketamine was available across town, and we decided to go retrieve it. This is when things began to go wrong. As we went upstairs into the bedroom to dress and gather our things, I begin to feel slightly manic, almost possessed, like I was being controlled by a robotic consciousness outside my control. It seemed as though something was about to happen, something of vital importance, but I had no idea what it could be. I attribute this sense of heightened expectation and urgency to the inhibitory effects of the drug on norepinephrine reuptake, which simulated the classic “fight or flight” symptoms of adrenaline release. For the next 10 hours, this feeling did not subside. Despite the beauty of my surroundings and the relaxed nature of the day, I felt continually on-edge, unpleasantly jittery and nervous for no reason at all. The euphoria and clarity of the first 3 hours disappeared into anxiety and worry. As we were walking out to pick up the K, I regretted having taken so much, remembering the stories online. We all sat down in a field with a group of people my friends knew, but I didn’t. I felt uncomfortable in their presence, and wanted to leave.

After about 40 minutes, I took a walk uptown and bought a pack of clove cigarettes and some drinks. Being alone finally, and in the open air, moving through the trees, made me feel much better. I began to recover some of the excitement of the first phase. Humming songs to myself, I soared through the city, seemingly flying on a cloud. Feeling great, I went back to rejoin the group, expecting things to pick up. However, my girlfriend was noticeably freaked out by the strong stimulation of the drug, and was acting very strangely, avoiding eye contact and responding to questions in bizarre, uncharacteristically curt ways. Her discomfort brought mine back. I kept worrying about her and I felt some guilt for dragging her into trying this drug without much preparation. The feeling was nowhere near as unpleasant as that of a bad psychedelic trip, but I kept wishing I could just relax and enjoy my surroundings, which had taken on a strangely distant and surreal aspect. Similar to the feeling I get after spending an entire night without sleep, I felt like I was watching a movie of myself watching reality. Certainly a headspace that might have been interesting to explore if I had been by myself, but in a social situation, it just didn’t work.

Cutting a long story short, my girlfriend and I finally walked back to the flat, and spent of the rest of the day lying in bed, trying to calm ourselves down with quiet ambient music (Gas and Stars of the Lid) and cheerful conversation. This worked for a while, and I felt almost normal again, but the anxiety eventually came back. I finally decided to blow some Ketamine in an effort to sedate myself and possibly get to sleep. I had never done Ketamine before, but had read quite a bit about it, and have tried other dissociative anesthetics such as DXM, so I thought I was prepared. How very wrong I was. I weighed out a line of exactly 50 mg (a “common” or mid-range dose) and railed it without hesitation. No burn or sneeze reflex.

After about 5 minutes I began to feel floaty and numb, similar to a DXM trip. The feeling intensified until I was floating on a cloud of bliss. I persuaded my two companions to do some as well, as it had completely cured my anxiety. They each did 50 mg, and soon we were all lying on our backs, staring at the ceiling and mumbling gibberish. Long story short, over the next 5 hours we basically went on a K binge, blowing well over 200 mg each. I was completely blown away by the novelty of the drug, how different it felt from other ones I have tried. The quality and immediacy of the hallucinations surpassed any psychedelic, even LSD. I loved how it combined the euphoric numbness of opiates with the visionary quality of hallucinogens. It seemed like the drug I had been waiting for all my life. Doing nitrous balloons on top of K was better than sex. I melted into a void and spun sideways through infinity, spiraling upward into ineffable realms. An incredible feeling of group intimacy, almost sexual, became palpable in the room. We lay down together on a blanket, embracing one another and melting into one. The boundaries of my skin disappeared and soon all I could feel was the music coming from the stereo across the room. I wanted it to last forever.

While I could write many more pages on the subtleties of this time, I don’t want to dwell too much on the Ketamine experience, as there are already thousands of documented K trips, many of which are certainly more interesting and better written than this one. The one thing I do want to emphasize is that after the powerful disorientation of the anesthetic wore off, the desoxypipradrol was still going strong underneath. This was over 15 hours after having ingested the drug. It became obvious that none of us were going to get any sleep that night. Thus began what I like to call the “dark night of the soul” of any stimulant trip; that period of lying in bed, agonizingly tired but unable to sleep or even relax. I eventually gave up trying to drift off after about 5 hours of torture and went into the other room to surf the internet. The sun was rising over the mountains in the distance, and the events of the previous day were still shrouded by a strange fog. The Ketamine had really fucked with my perception of time, and it seemed as though it had been days since I had been a normal person.

After eating a snack and listening to some music I began to cheer up, and then began the shockingly unexpected “second rush” of the trip. I had read about the drug “coming in waves” but hadn’t expected such drastic shifts of perception. Talking to my friend online and researching books on post-structuralism, my brain switched on again and went into intellectual overdrive. For the next four hours we had a whirlwind conversation, discussing everything under the sun. Even he felt a contact high from the enthusiasm pouring through my fingers. It felt like I had just insufflated about 30 mg of Adderall. This was the effect I had been hoping for from the drug, a mild physical stimulation with an extreme mental boost. I estimated the amount of desoxy left in my system (based on the half life) to be about 4 mg. I decided that if I ever wanted to take it again in the future, this would be the amount I would try.

For the rest of the day I felt incredible; energetic, inspired, confident, etc. All the “classic” amphetamine effects. I got a lot of work done on my computer, and did more research into philosophy (my course of study) than I have in weeks. Strangely enough, and unlike other amphetamines, I felt no desire to redose. I was content to stay where I was.

Based on this period of the experience, I feel desoxypipradrol may be an effective, cheap (and legal) substitute for the standard college ‘study drugs’ Adderall and Ritalin. I felt the same obsessive focus, the same motivational intensity and analytic drive as those substances provide. If it only lasted for a shorter period, desoxy would be a literally perfect functional stimulant. As it stands however, I feel an intense ambivalence towards it. That night, following the second rush period, I slept fine, but the next day (yesterday) was hell.

The muscles in my jaw and face felt awful from being clenched and ground together for so long, and I had a strange headache which refused to go away the entire day. It felt as though my face was being flooded with blood, and I experienced alternating hot and cold flashes. Aside from these physical side effects, which at worst were mildly irritating, I felt unpleasantly detached from my surroundings, drained of all emotion. It was very difficult to smile, and even though the day was nice and I was lounging in a park reading a fascinating book with no obligations or worries, I felt a sense of lingering tension and unease. A cloud of trepidation and meaninglessness more sinister and “creepy” (I can’t describe it any other way) than I have felt after using other strong stimulants surrounded me the entire day, and continues to plague me today, even after a full night’s sleep. I’m beginning to get really pissed off at the tenacity of this substance. Hopefully it will subside in the next few days, and I will return to normal.

In conclusion, I obviously took way too much desoxypipradrol for my own good. If I ever use this substance again (which at this point is doubtful) I will start with 2 – 3 milligrams insufflated and see what happens. Dopamine psychosis isn’t really my idea of a good time. This drug obviously has lots of untapped potential, and I think that with cautious and respectful dosage, certain people may find it very useful for study or work purposes. Desoxypipradrol really humbled me, and I thought I knew what I was doing.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 71451
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Dec 28, 2008	Views: 2,707
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Desoxypipradrol (525) : Various (28), Multi-Day Experience (13), Hangover / Days After (46), First Times (2), General (1)