I Wish I Did Not Have a Sitter
Salvia divinorum (20x extract)
Citation: Maybelline. "I Wish I Did Not Have a Sitter: An Experience with Salvia divinorum (20x extract) (exp71703)". Erowid.org. Apr 6, 2010. erowid.org/exp/71703
DOSE: |
repeated | smoked | Salvia divinorum | (extract) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 125 lb |
I was using a new pipe that I had just bought that day. Long and skinny, glass pipe. I was in the basement of my house, with only the light of one lamp, and a friend with me. I took a few hits from the 5x extract (I didn't keep the lighter lit the whole time, as I should have. I was later told that salvia must be at a very high temperature to be released). I held it in as long as I could, exhaled, looked up at my friend, and said 'Peter'. This was, of course, not my friend's name. So we both thought this was funny, and I rolled back on the floor and laughed hysterically for a few minutes. When I had calmed down, I felt almost entirely normal, so I thought I'd let her have a go at it.
She smoked some of the 5x, and had some giggly laughter as well.
When that had died down, we decided to try the 10x. I was looking for a more out of body experience, something mind blowing - not just something to make me laugh. So I smoked some 10x. I layed back down on the floor, and covered my face with my arms. I started arching my head, because if only I could arch it into the floor, I would be able to emerge into the ground of a different place. I started to see it - it was the ground next to the train tracks, and I could hear it raining softly. But I knew my friend was watching me, and I knew she wouldn't understand. I was embarrassed.
Instinctively, I pulled my hands away from my face. Light flooded into my view, and I was back in my basement. During this point, I was babbling out loud 'Don't... don't laugh at me... I know you're going to laugh at me... you don't understand it, but I was merging with the train tracks...' et cetera. I practiced trying to move from one world to another, it was so hard, it's nearly impossible to go back, once I became aware of the natural world again.
So my friend tried to smoke some 10x, and didn't have any effect (that I know of) at all. Not really even laughter this time. In retrospect, this surely must be because she didn't have the salvia lit the whole time, and probably wasn't inhaling it properly.
Alright, so a week or so later, my brother says he has some 20x, and offers to sit for me while I try it. I'm excited, because not only will I inhale it better now that I know what I'm doing, but also it is more potent, so it has more potential. hahah potent-ial! Anyway so this time, I'm in my brother's room, on his bed, and he's getting it ready for me. Let it be known that I had smoked some cannabis about 5 or 6 hours previously, but I had already come off the high, so I don't think it made much of a difference...
'Remember to keep it lit the whole time,' he tells me. A small pinch of salvia divinorum 20x (from the same company as before) in a glass pipe. I took what felt like a big hit, but since I'm a small person with a low tolerance for smoke, I'm sure it wasn't all too big. But it was big for me. I held it in for what felt like a long time. My trick was to pretend I was underwater.
Then I was leaning forward, so that my body could become like a sphere. A big white sphere, made up of pieces that fit together like a puzzle. And I'm seeing this from the inside, mind you. Except there's something wrong. There's a hole, surrounded by a section of pieces that are stained red, like the colour red when your cheeks blush. I am the sphere, and I'm marked in red where I'm being watched. There's someone watching me over there, and it distracts me. I can't go on, because someone is watching me. Since it's all pure thought, and no movement, as soon as I become aware of the red hole, I go to it, so I can cover it up. Once I cover the hole up, I won't be seen. It's red because it's the colour of my flushed cheeks, eyes and hands. That's what he's looking at, my body!
I open my eyes, I see myself, my brother, the room, the bed I'm on, and a blanket I'm on. I try to cover it up, so I won't have to worry about him watching it. (I go under the blanket). Under there, I try to enter back the world, but I'm already out. It's hard to get back in, because I know it's not real. After a long time, I sit back up and tell my sitter what I can of my experience. And that's mostly it. I remember some of the things I said to him, and he remembers what I don't. I said a lot of things about my 'pieces' or 'parts' and how he could see only some of my pieces so I had to cover them up. And I said 'Oh no, they've found a way out, they found a way out', meaning that some of the pieces of my entity went through the hole in the sphere- out into reality. The pieces of my being (namely, my eyes, mouth, and hands) had found their way back into my brother's room.
I know it's not recommended, but I absolutely cannot trip with someone watching me. The knowledge that I'm being watched reminds me that there is a physical component to my body, and that is what they are watching. And the knowledge that I have a body brings me out of my trip. I know it's not recommended, but I must try this alone - I see no other alternative. Both times that I experienced anything other than just plain laughter, I pulled myself out of it, simply because I know I'm being watched. I might have a high tolerance to salvia, because pulling myself out wasn't toooo hard, although somewhat difficult. I don't even want to pull myself out, but I have a very strong will, and such a strong rational mind, that I quickly realize it's not real, and find a way back to reality, and I don't even mean to!
I plan on using salvia again, alone. I see this as the only way I can truly experience it. I will be as cautious as possible!
So to everyone who reads this, I hope my experience entertained/informed you. I'm sorry that turning into a big sphere isn't all that interesting, but it's just what happened, and I can't help that.
Exp Year: 2008 | ExpID: 71703 |
Gender: Female | |
Age at time of experience: Not Given | |
Published: Apr 6, 2010 | Views: 6,096 |
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Difficult Experiences (5), General (1), Small Group (2-9) (17) |
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