DOSE:	30 mg	oral	Pharms - Zolpidem
	repeated	smoked	Cannabis
		smoked	Salvia divinorum	(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

280 lb

Ambien and Salvia: An Unexpected Combination

Recently I had come across some Ambien, and with my family out of town for the weekend I decided now would be a good time to run an experiment. I must admit that this wasn’t my first experience with the drug; a couple weeks earlier I had taken two 10mg pills, but it was late at night, and other than some odd dreams I don’t recall much of what happened. I can only assume I passed out on the sofa. This time, though, I was determined to stay awake.

Around 11am, which was about the time I woke up, I took 3 10mg Ambien pills. Seeing as I had had a good night’s sleep, and given the early hour, I was reasonably sure I wouldn’t just pass out like last time. About thirty minutes later, just when it started to kick in, I decided to smoke some weed to augment the effects.

My memories after this point become rather dream-like, and I’m honestly not sure about the order in which events occurred. I know after smoking the weed I became very entranced by the lighter, and spent a good while melting some plastic water bottles in my room. For some reason it was like the bottles were alive I was torturing them for information (as for what kind of information I have no idea). They even had faces on them and seemed to writhe in agony at the touch of my flame. I even remember seeing little fish swimming around in the bottles (even though they were empty). As I said this all seemed like a dream (or perhaps a nightmare) and I really didn’t remember doing this until several hours later when I found the melted bottles around my room. I’m reasonably sure I did this before I got into the salvia.

At some other point I smoked some more weed and put on some music. I think it was some cheesy 80’s tunes (like Animotion or Human League or something, I think) but I’m not sure. After lying on the ground for a while and watching translucent bugs crawl all over the ceiling (an hallucination, I hope), I suddenly had an epiphany. It was a wonderful idea, and I wondered why I hadn't come up with it before. I remember feeling very excited at the prospect. I knew what I needed, I knew what would hit the spot.

I needed to smoke some salvia!

Okay, brief history lesson. I hadn’t smoked salvia in seven years. My last experience was, to put it mildly, sheer terror. I’ve always reacted strongly to the plant, but that last time, with me sitting in the dark in a bath tub, with some entity chasing me between different realities, and with me feeling like I had somehow destroyed the universe or something . . . It scared me. No, not just scared. It *scarred* me, psychologically. I barely touched any psychoactive substance for years afterwards, and this single experience compelled me to spend years studying the philosophy of mind. Because of salvia, I ended up reading Russell, Whitehead, Chalmers, Dennett, Searle, Rosenberg, etc, etc. I still study it to this day. I now know that my experience was all in my head, but at the time I was convinced that Lady Salvia was a real entity. That last salvia experience was what could be called a watershed event in my life.

Anyway, fortunately (or unfortunately, depending on how you look at it) I had purchased some (15x) salvia a few months back because someone had told me it would soon be made illegal (which is not true, as far as I can tell). I found this, plus some leftovers from seven years ago and took them all over to my bong. I must stress that I had *no* prior intention of smoking salvia during this experiment.

Now my memory begins to really play tricks with me. I remember smoking the salvia, then I remember hearing the stereo and somehow thinking that the song (either the Bangles or Ace of Base or something, it was definitely a woman singer.) was mocking me. I definitely recall yelling and screaming at the stereo. Then all contact with my environment was lost.

I’m falling in a void, but end up landing on these little clay ropes, but then I realize the ropes are made up of little people. I suddenly realize that what I thought was myself was actually a part played by countless other beings. I guess it could be described as a gestalt being comprised of an aggregate of other beings, somehow forming a whole. I’m not sure I’m describing this right. I suppose it plugs into the “bundle theory” of consciousness, where there is no enduring soul but rather a series of “nows” that have their moment of experience and then slip into the past. The illusion of an enduring identity comes from memory and habit, which are bequeathed to each new “now.” In another way it was like I was getting a glimpse of the underpinning of reality. Like looking at the gears of a clock, but I realize *I* am the clock and can do different that what I am made to do. Subjectivity does not equal free will, but rather free will is ignorance of prior conditions. All these other 'past nows' were just doing what they were made to do. Their was no choice any more than a stone chooses to fall. It was very eerie.

Next I remember having the sensation that my own thoughts are creating my reality. This was truly terrifying. For example, I remember panicking when I realize I’m “trapped” in my own reality, and I had this sudden impulse to take my own life. But then I realize that by considering this extreme option, I had somehow altered reality and made myself live in a world where there are machines to prevent people from committing suicide. It looked like some sort of octopus-like vacuum cleaner, and it was hooked to my head. I have no idea why this was supposed to prevent suicide.

I also recall my parents yelling at me, and they were like part of my environment. Like my dad would be like a wall, and his head and mouth would be a door. Or my mom was absorbed into the walls of my house. Then there was this utterly sick feeling like I was somehow missing something, like this all had some sort of “trick ending” a la the “Twilight Zone” or “Outer Limits.” I remember having this feeling that I was in fact dying, and I kept hearing my mom yell over and over again. The scenario in my head was that I *had* in fact shot myself and these were my brain splattered last thoughts, and the voice was my mom screaming. It was all very depressing.

Then there was also the old standard salvia effects (at least standard for me). Like I would move my arm and suddenly my arm would morph into the wall and, like an Escher painting, my arm would ultimately *be* the wall.

At some later point I remember sitting on the sofa and realizing it was 3pm. I *think* at some later point I went back for a second round of salvia, though I’ve already wrote everything I remember about it. Later (or earlier) I know I was staring at the flame port of my lighter and remember thinking it looked like a robotic monkey. The monkey eye would suddenly shoot flame and this amused me. I think I burned some hairs off my bangs.

The next thing I remember was waking up in my bed around 10pm. There were melted bottles on the floor, in the kitchen I have weed and salvia and spilt bong water everywhere, and on my computer I had typed a “message.” I vaguely remember doing this, though I don’t know when during the trip. It had such grains of wisdom as “why is all aboutwww earthquarke” and “plumbler w.o nonose oeekin unto t holrf walker wair.” Not sure what that was all about.

I felt kind of out of it when I woke up, so I ended up going over to my friend’s house to smoke weed and drink beer for the rest of the night.

On balance, this experience with salvia was not as horrifying as my last one. I’m not sure if this is because I have matured as a person or rather because of the Ambien. I am not adverse to trying this again, but next time I definitely should have a trip sitter.

-Emerson

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 72447
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 16, 2020	Views: 818
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Pharms - Zolpidem (143), Salvia divinorum (44) : Alone (16), Combinations (3)