DOSE:

2 hits

smoked

Salvia divinorum

BODY WEIGHT:

175 lb

8:35 p.m., Tuesday, July 14, 2008

That was really messed up. One hit of Salvia...second effort. The first time I did it a few weeks ago, almost nothing happened. I felt a weird 'tugging' and a little strange, semi-trippy, but it lasted for only a few minutes and I never lost sense of what was going on or where I was.

This time, I was totally gone. I don't know for how long. I took one hit. I went to take a second hit and don't remember finishing it. I came to feeling totally bizarre and unsure of my reality. I'm still a little bit messed up right now but definitely coming back. I woke up to this consciousness having spilled all the water from the bong all over the bed and comforter. I must have passed out/over or whatever while on top of it, because the whole side of my robe was soaked too.

I came to and felt an urgent need to hide the bong, which happened the first time too, but with less urgency then. I also didn’t know what the hell I had done with the lighter and was frantically searching for it.

Besides the wet spot, a stain of ash had gotten on the comforter. I desperately found a hand towel on the bathroom counter, wet it under the sink and rushed back to the bed to rub out the stain. I then ran into the closet with the bong and hid it behind some hats. Then I got worried about my husband coming home and catching me and finding the bed all wet. I had to get out of my robe immediately and change into another one so I could just say that I had spilled water on the bed without having to explain how I had spilled it all over myself too.

I still hadn't figured out what I had done with the lighter, but I was worried that I couldn't account for it so I searched under the bed, in the sheets, under the pillows. I finally opened the top drawer of my nightstand and there it was. I don't even remember putting it in there.

By this time, the smell of the Nag Champa incense I had lit to hide the smell of my smoking was smelling too strong to me. I had to go over and nub it out and make it stop. It still smells too strong for me. It is now five minutes after I started writing. I didn't take note of the time before I took my first hit, and now wished I had.

I remember feeling scared because I didn't know what was real. I felt like if I let go of this reality that I would never be able to get back to it. I felt myself struggling against a new reality in which I was the last one to know that something wasn't real and I think I heard a voice say (but not auditory or even in my head...I can't say where the source of it was or how I 'heard' it) something like '<Insert my first name>, there's nothing there...'

Then I felt almost ashamed or embarrassed because I realized I was the last one to realize that none of it was real. It was all imaginary. My life is an illusion I've created. I really believed I wasn't going to come back. I felt like this whole life of mine was an illusion and that if I let go of the illusion or forgot about it that it would disappear and never exist again. I would never be able to return to it. All I had ever known would vanish and I would enter a new reality in which I was really just a traveling thought process. I was scared I would never know my husband again or know myself as the personality I am in this life with the job I have now, residence I live in now, etc.

I also remember thinking about a word that I unfortunately can't remember now. But I was fixating on how strange the word sounded and how it was something else I was analyzing the texture of and hanging onto with my mind.

Things still look sort of spatially strange. I turned on the TV and am watching Sex and the City, but it looks a little trippy. The panning-in-and-out and camera tricks that I usually never even notice look totally weird. The timing of the visual effects seems trippy and surreal. But I am together enough now, recovered enough, to recognize it as some sort of residual effect of the Salvia.

It is 8:47 now. Time still feels a little weird. I've been writing for 12 minutes and it feels like it's been 5 minutes. My bed comforter is soaked. I'm sort of embarrassed and don't know how I'll explain this one to my husband when he gets home from his meeting. I'll likely just make something up and say I spilled a glass of water on the bed by accident.

If I ever do Salvia again, I will definitely use a sitter. I mean, I was gone! I don't know how long or where I went, but I was not here for a few minutes.

The whole experience was kind of scary but also fascinating. I sort of want to do it again, but still have a little fear that I will disappear into some thought universe and never feel this reality again.

Wow, that was truly wild. I overestimated my own ability to stay 'with it' while smoking it, despite everyone else's experiences I've read. I was arrogant. I would not do it again without a 'sitter' to make sure I'm okay and keep me from spilling the bong all over the place!

Is it possible that I could disappear and this whole existence could disappear and I would just carry on in some other form of existence if I mentally decided to leave behind this reality while on a Salvia trip?

I did LSD, mescaline, and mushrooms several times when I was a teenager. I am now in my thirties and I have to say that was the strangest and most intense trip I have ever experienced. What it lacks in duration, it makes up for in intensity!

I am convinced that this is not a recreational drug. Experiment at your own risk and take all the recommended preparations and precautions. Salvia will stretch your mind in ways you’ve never imagined.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 72544
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 35
Published: Oct 11, 2013	Views: 1,485
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Salvia divinorum (44) : First Times (2), Alone (16)