DOSE:	9 g	oral	Mimosa tenuiflora	(tea)
	4 g	oral	Syrian Rue	(tea)

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

After putting the mhrb in the blender and turning it into a powder, I boiled it with some lemon juice three times for a half hour each. After each 30 minute interval, I squeezed the bark’s juice into a cup. I also did this with the rue one time. At the end there was a shot glass of mhrb juice and half a shot glass of rue juice. I ingested the rue and then the mhrb a half hour later. Within ten minutes I could sense my thoughts getting twisted.

I went into a spare bedroom to lay down in the dark. Gradually, my mind began to race and I always get preoccupied wondering how intense the trip will be. I am always worried that I will trip too hard, lose control, and do some sort of damage to myself psychologically or physically. Is this shit poisonous? Is it gonna give me cancer ten years from now?

I lay with my eyes closed and the visuals start to become more perceptible. Intricate tubes weave patterns of color. I feel that I am looking at subatomic particles swirling and meshing to create matter. In the meantime, aspects of my life come rushing at me in jagged thoughts. I consider each fleeting episode, my job, my wife, my family, my dog, my future, my past – all of these thoughts crashing into each other and I try to focus on one, but I can’t. They intersect, then quickly weave away teasing me. The visuals are also a great distraction. I get mildly annoyed at the fractals because they are diverting me from focusing on the great issues of my life. I should enjoy the show, but new perspectives on my life seem more interesting.

Within 45 minutes I eventually feel the peak and then abruptly I know that the trip will not get out of control and I begin to relax. This moment is always surreal, I don’t know how I know that the peak has been reached, but it is almost like the chemicals tell me. I start to focus again on the thoughts, but I can’t because there are a flood of them. This is frustrating. I realize what insanity must feel like – a torrent of ideas and feelings that cannot be properly accommodated and digested. Instead the flow is misinterpreted, misunderstood, and confusing. If sanity is a frequency that our brains are tuned into, then insanity changes the station and reads a different wavelength. I hope that tripping doesn’t permanently change my station.

Now I am able to better navigate the process. Every once and a while my eyes start to tear up and this is just a physical side effect. But still one time, I said just cry already. Just let it out. I figured since tears were coming out anyway, I might as well have a cathartic moment. I didn’t cry, but it still felt good. When I open my eyes, the trip still wants to play hallucinations with me. A lion head starts forming, but I quickly dispel the trick by realizing it is just a pattern on the pillow. I bring myself back to introspection.

The journey wants to take me down dark alleyways of my mind. These are places that I don’t like to think too much about. This is where dilemmas, problems, and frustrations hide. I boldly think, Let’s go. Show me what is going on in the dark of my mind. A light was shown here and there, I looked without fear, and moved on to something else. I was glad we didn’t spend too much time there.

The thoughts are starting to slow down, they are no longer speeding around. Now as I focus on a thought, my mind takes me deeper inside of it. I can explore the depths of the idea, down to the nuts and bolts, but still other ideas vie for my attention to take me down their river. The house it getting chilly and I get up to turn the heat higher. Hundreds of years ago people would have never believed that one could make heat or cold air by simply pushing a button. They would have thought only gods could control nature with the push of a finger. I explore prehistory mankind thinking about how people survived before modern technology made life easy. I am starting to feel positive, the first time since I started this trip.

I go into the main bedroom and slip under the warm covers with my wife. She sleepily puts her arms around me and I am warm. My thoughts continue in a dreamlike state for another hour or so and then the morning sun begins lighting the room. I wake my wife up and my head is clear, my thoughts are focused, and I have a lot to say. We chitchat for an hour or so and I am happy to share my thoughts in such an articulate way. Gradually, the trip tapers off and I am left with a sober afterglow on a beautiful sunny Saturday morning.

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 75910
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jan 27, 2010	Views: 9,566
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Syrian Rue (45), Mimosa tenuiflora (74), Huasca Combo (269) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5)