DOSE: T+ 0:00	4 g	oral	Syrian Rue	(ground / crushed)
T+ 0:45	25 g	oral	Psychotria viridis	(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

65 kg

Having taken part in a guided ayahuasca ceremony about a year ago, I was both fascinated and intimidated by the potential of this medicine. Despite warnings against attempting to undertake the journey alone, I decided to try a combination of rue and chacruna, instead of the traditionally used B. caapi (which I consider too advanced or even 'sacred' at this stage). I had abstained from alcohol and meat the day before, and ate a light breakfast and some fruit on the day of the experience. I stopped eating 4 hours before I was to take the rue.

Knowing full well from previous experience that the rue would make me sick regardless of fasting, I went ahead and swallowed 4 grams of powdered seeds (TOO MUCH) in gelcaps. In the mean time I had prepared a brew of 50 grams of chacruna, water and juice of 3 lemons. This was left to simmer for about an hour, strain, repeat, combine liquids and slowly boil down to what I would be able to manage to drink in 2 sessions, in case there would be no effects from the first drink.

I wasn't sure of the potency of the chacruna since it had been over a year since I purchased it. There was a lot of 'dust' as I crumbled the leaves. The liquid turned a deep rusty red colour.

T+ 45. I drank a glass of the cooled chacruna liquid. It was immediately apparent that I had overdone things with the 3 lemons. An explosion of salt, bitter and sour attacked my taste buds and burned my throat. I remember thinking 'oh, this is almost like the real ayahuasca so I guess I did OK'.

T+ 75. The rue was dissolving and causing rumblings in my stomach. I laid a mattress outside on my balcony and looked at the clouds. It was still warm and pleasant outside (at around 9pm) although I soon became very sensitive to the light. Like many others describe, the 'rue' state started off giving a sense of peace and mild euphoria with no hint of what was about to come.

From lying down feeling really ok for about 20 minutes, I sat up with a jolt and knew bad things were coming. My stomach (and mind) grew very restless and I tried to focus on other things so as to keep the stuff down for at least an hour (I really wanted that DMT to kick in still). Half an hour after ingestion of the chacruna, I ran for the bathroom. After a few times of dry-heaving, naively I gave myself a break to get some air, only to puke all over myself as the liquid rushed out without me consciously doing anything to help it.

This was the start of about 4 hours of intense nausea, in which I puked 5 times in increasingly rapid succession, up to the point of (apparently this is quite common and unavoidable) thinking maybe something was wrong and that I needed to consider seeking help or advice, while at the same time knowing I would be fine again in the morning. On top of that I developed a serious case of diarrhea so it was quite clear that my body was intent on forcing out every last bit of unknown substance I had swallowed (along with the water I drank of course). While all this was happening, flashes of chaotic, cartoonish, seemingly random visuals were projected on my eyelids. Open eyed visual distortions were limited to tracers and everything trembling. My balance was seriously impaired, attempting to stand up caused more nausea.

At the peak of my misery, when I was puking into the bathtub instead of the toilet, there was a power cut, which I didn't immediately realize. I heard noises and thought someone was at knocking on the door but I couldn't force myself to check. After the great relief of no longer needing to puke, I took a shower which felt fantastic. As soon as I got out the shower I noticed the lights were off, and that there was someone trying to open the door. It was the landlord who came to replace the fuses, and he couldn't figure out why the door (which I had for this occasion locked from the inside) would not open. Apparently a housemate had phoned him. It was midnight by then, and I, utterly confused and unstable stumbled to the door and yelled for that person to ID himself, even when I knew it couldn't be anyone but the landlord. I put on a robe, unlocked the door, and retreated back into the dark, unable to explain my situation. As I heard the landlord leave again, I noticed there still wasn't any power on my floor, just when I wanted desperately to go online and seek advice and comfort. Unable to get up again, I let the landlord leave me in silent darkness again. It had been so exhausting that I wanted to sleep, but was afraid to for fear of choking on my own puke. The nausea would only go away when I sat still with my eyes closed in the dark. A strange thing was to find that I was semi-consciously keeping myself awake by means of projecting visuals that kept me awake somehow. My heartbeat was accelerated as well and this also prevented me from falling asleep for some time. When I finally did crawl into bed, I set the alarm to go off 3 hours later, so I could then 'check if I was alive or not'.

Thankfully, I slept quite well although light, in an almost lucid dream state for the next few hours. I woke up at 9 the morning after, feeling pretty ok.

Now, questions...

- What caused the violent puking? Was it the rue, or was there something wrong with the chacruna. Was it the lemon juice? I puked up a lot of plant material but couldn't distinguish the rue from the chacruna.

- Am I detoxed or did I just throw up and excrete anything my body thought was toxic (plant matter)?

Why this long story? Well, I hope it'll serve as yet another warning to those curious about making some ayahuasca analog without having extensive plant knowledge. I burned incense and 'asked' my Egyptian cat statue to watch over me, but it was soon apparent that this didn't provide the 'spiritual' support I needed.

It seems that Syrian Rue is a very tricky plant, only suitable for a small group of people. Unless I manage to one day extract the MAOI component, I won't touch the stuff again.

If you get a chance to drink ayahuasca in a ceremonial setting, or with someone who knows the shamanic principles of the ayahuasca ritual, don't hesitate to go for it, provided your intentions are 'pure'. Maybe after several years of guided sessions, one is able to repeat such an experience in solitude. In retrospect, I can be relieved I didn't get full on DMT effects on top of the syrian rue, for it would have no doubt caused a visual nightmare of epic proportions.

Be safe, eat healthy, read books!

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 80371
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Oct 25, 2013	Views: 4,339
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Huasca Brew (268), Psychotria viridis (170), Syrian Rue (45) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5)