DOSE:

75 mg

oral

Pharms - Venlafaxine

(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

150 lb

I asked my Doctor to be put on an antidepressant back in 2007. I was experiencing anxiety attacks multiple times a day and also had absolutely no drive to do anything. I wasnt living, I was just existing. Existing in a world of anxiety, tears and my couch.

I dont remember if he reccomended Effexor, or If I suggested it. I research every drug I take before I put it in my mouth. Mostly to see if they cause weight gain (I suffer from Anorexia/Bulimia ).

I was prescribed 75mgs a day. I popped the first pill in my mouth that evening. From what I remember I didn't start to feel any different until around a week or so later.

My memory is pretty patchy due to all the other medications I've taken over the years, but from what I remember, it was a very dark time in my life and the Effexor didnt help that. It made it worse.

I remember one day in particular as being really bad. I had been having anxiety attacks all day, I remember being in my bathroom and just slicing at my arms and thighs with a razor blade. Not trying to kill myself, but just trying to feel something other than panic. Also as cliche as it sounds, I wanted to prove I was still there. I still have scars from that day. (Note: This wasnt the first time I self harmed. I had been doing it for years).

Then I remember staring at myself in the mirror and just bawling. I took some scissors and had the urge to cut all my hair off, but thankfully I still had a bit of sanity left inside me and stuck to just hacking off around 4 inches of my hair. After I was done, I started crying more. I've always loved my hair longer. Now it was this short mess. It was like I was in a trance while I was doing it. I also remember my mom calling me, I think it was the same day, and I was just bawling my eyes out and panicking. I couldnt calm down. I'm sure I scared her alot. She even offered to come over to my place and stay with me, but I declined and said I'd be fine.

That whole night was awful. Shortly after that, I got off Effexor. After around a week of feeling horrible, I started to regain more and more of my sanity.

I was on Effexor for around 2-3 months. I dont remember much of that time, but what I do remember was very upsetting. I hardly ate, I cried all the time, cut alot, and was terrified of leaving my apartment, even to get food. I would only leave if my pets needed food. I cared more about them than myself.

I know Effexor helps alot of people, but I unfortunately was one of the people that only got worse while on it. I actually felt as if I was going insane. I will never touch it again.

Exp Year: 2007	ExpID: 82088
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 20
Published: May 25, 2020	Views: 812
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Pharms - Venlafaxine (191) : Alone (16), Depression (15), Medical Use (47), Difficult Experiences (5)