DOSE:

oral

Salvia divinorum

(extract)

BODY WEIGHT:

200 lb

I have been preparing for my latest journey with much contemplation on the self and ego loss.. which is of course an absurd thing to do through the veil of the ego.. so I thought it would be good to enlist the help of the sage goddess. I took 4 dropper loads of the Essence at once in my room, undiluted. The burning sensation faded soon.. but brought dampness to my eyes initially. No noises in the house, just--

stillness.. the familiar paralytic wave of selflessness creeping over my body like dusk creeping over the earth.. my feet the first to feel the sensation of the lack of sensation.. the escape.. the release.. my calves feeling it next.. the tingling stiffness rolling up my skin to my head, until I was swept under.. my body now petrified, turned to stone.. I was nothing more than a salvia-juice recepticle.. the nerves in my mouth being the only ones retaining any sense of purpose or integrity, as they were required to finish the ritual..

I found that the tantric breathing method of curling the tongue and resting the bottom of it along the roof of the mouth is the best absorption method.. I forget what this is called, crows breath maybe? it has been some time since I studied tantra.. but the techniques never fade.. and if you know this one, I strongly advise you to use it in this application.

this made my outward existence that solely of a container of diviners sage.. as I plunged inward.. and away.. rushing away from my plastic ego as if dying.. but welcoming the assimilation into the overmind.. into the purity of idea that is not constrained by linear struggles.. ... the rolling back of the wave of existence erased the past association-memory of 'me' like figures drawn in the sand before tide.. and in each breath of the animal-me there were a thousand eternities... still attached to the salvia recepticle but controlling this sacred pool from the other realm.. thoughtlessly.. involuntarily .. stunned and enrapt by the release of the self from the body for the split second that 'I' was gone.. that the 'me me me' goings-on of the monkey-mind hushed.. that I was at once no-where and every-where.. all and nothing.. all verbal and egoic thoughts ceased and there is no rational way of telling how long I stayed in this state.

Then a cough.. a miserly, nursing home smoker's cough, a cough that pulled me back into the world of the senses.. making it hard for the salvia-vessel to continue to do its job.. I ran to the bathroom to spit.. but it seemed as if I were spitting my blood.. my fuel.. the salvia/saliva mix seemed very much mine, connected, the enchanting emerald color seemed to be of me.. as if it were my venom.. and I looked up and found myself staring at a very reptillian 'me'.. quick nerves and scaly skin.. very much alive in the senses again that I had abandoned just moments ago..

My humble domicile reeked of the judeo-christian guilt games of my youth.. the culturally conditioned blame and shame sitcoms resounding.. I felt detached from this place and in the same thought defeated by it.. it felt very infantile.. and I felt even moreso.. trapped in this bubblewrapped reality..

I rushed outside into the vivid landscape of my front yard.. mesmerized by the grasses and weeds and bushes.. such as an acid trip is.. only without the motion and clear breathing of the plants.. each leaf and blade of grass singing to me hypnotically.. I thought of myself in this environment.. feeling very clean and pure and in-tune with it.. until the neighbors appeared.. I heard voices all around me.. not hallucinations but neighbors going on about their affairs.. and I was out of place and detached again.. what would they think of me pondering so serenely these bushes and blades of grass? they would think DOPE FIEND and I would be arrested for sure! I paced uncomfortably and almost went back in.. but the concrete caught me then.. it looked both strong and rotting.. the little weeds poking through the cracks mocking it and looking triumphant.. I resolved to stay out..

I ran up to the tree in my front yard.. quickly jumped into it and found a nice spot to perch.. letting the ants and leaves sing to me.. feeling quite at home.. it strikes me suddenly that I am still tripping on salvia.. and I think kind thoughts of Siebert for developing this truly remarkable potion.

I sat down to write this with the effects still lingering.. as I thought if I don't do it now, it won't happen at all.. much like writing down my dreams..The ego has of course taken over.. but Salvia offers an opportunity for a vacation from this motive-driven circular-reasoning façade.. and an illumination for me once I return to it.. if I will just sit back, shut up, and listen.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 8276
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jun 16, 2004	Views: 9,734
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Salvia divinorum (44) : Mystical Experiences (9), General (1), Alone (16)