DOSE:

smoked

Toad Venom

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

I have had many experiances with these powerful plants in the past. Peyote has remained a personal friend of mine on this path of shamanism. We use a majority of herbs for various reasons, mostly for healing, because of this, Peyote and me have remained good friends. I have had close encounters with death before. It is a spirit which I highly respect for its power and whatever is touched by it.

I smoked 5-meo-dmt with friends in a nearby town. Everyone was partying and using drugs. There was cocaine, adderall, marijuana, one man who was there, who also had the cocaine, had a substance which he aquired and apparantely purified from a toad. He told me you had to squeeze the toad to make the venom come out, and that the venom was very powerful. He used the term 'that is one powerful fucking drug right there'.

After talking about it for a while, I was intrested to try it. I was curious as to what revelence it had to shamanic use. He applied a white-thick-powder with cannabis and urged me to smoke it. I did this and the first thing I noticed was an extreme dizziness, vertigo. I had an extreme urge to stand up and when I did, I could not see. There was nothing but clear white light. I had realized at this point, that I had came into the same world I always do without any use of drugs, without my own intent, and I could not escape or come back. It was a terrifying feeling of losing control.

The world is indescrible. I had visions of snakes, as usual, the snake is my totem animal. It was coiled in a ball around my chest, and was related to my own fear. I began to stretch my spirit and move around. At this point, I was fearing for my own life, my own survival. The room was full of negative spirits, negative energy, it was too many spirits, too much work to do. I locked myself in a room, a closet, where no windows were, where nothing could get in, in a place where no one could ever go. It was the only thing I could do, this was a state of emergency to me. I felt death strike me and felt myself start to die.

The only thing I could do was give up. It was the only solution I could find that gave way of the fear. I told myself I was not afraid to die, and was willing to be taken. I know all too well how beautiful this universe is, my heart is as open as the sky. I got up and left the room without dismissing myself and began to walk down the street. I wasn't coming down, but I was feeling immensely better to be out of there and go wherever I wanted.

I wondered aimlessely. I avoided contact with all souls, as I could feel thier shit as ever as before and it made me ill. I was not in a position of authority at this point to overcome negativity, I was at deaths mercy, and had my own shit to deal with here. There was no time to waste with petty issues here.

I focused a great deal of my attention on the sky. Jupiter was rising in the east, the moon slightly to its left, Aries(my sun sign) right behind it. I felt a sense of pride and awe, looking at this beautiful planet centered right in the same place where I had first seen myself slowly descending from it, into my own body for the first time. In this scene, I rememered it as clear as ever-and my first breath of life, of this world, that I had taken. There was nothing else to say, nothing else to do. Everything was as it should be and I was so full of bliss, so full to the brim, that I was overflowing with energy. I had reached meditation without any intent.

I had no desire to return to that house. To their drugs, thier partying, thier lack of awareness. I have no condemnation, but it was not my world-I had only gone there so I could experiance this. I felt my power return, my own will, my own intent. My ego returned slowly, and I cannot say rather it was pleasant, or unpleasant. I had established control again, but there was no need at this point, I was protected by the great spirit who deeply loves me and every living thing, breathing thing that is part of it. I was in heaven and here at the same time.

It seems the two could not co-exist, but I was suprised at how wrong I could be. Everyday new things, new knowledge, and new revelation suprise me, and this is what I live for, and to show it to as many people as I can. This is why I'm writing this report. Not for research reasons, but to point my finger at this indescrible great spirit that loves all of us. I don't care what people think, I know the truth now, and I want everyone to see how beautiful it really is.

The drug 5-meo-dmt is a very powerful spirit. I would be very careful with it. There are dangers. I should have prepared myself to enter into the lions den. I had to respect and accept death or I would be overcome with fear. I had to get over my own internal fear of losing control. And not only should I have brought knowledge, but I should also have brought power to overcome being drawn from my own power. You dont want to go into a poker game and bid all of your money without knowing how to play. Learn the ways of life, feel your power, and use your power to remember the end-and not the means. It's very easy to forget, especially around other people. As you may be...

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 85760
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 42
Published: Jun 17, 2010	Views: 5,477
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5-MeO-DMT (58) : First Times (2), Various (28)