DOSE:

repeated

smoked

Cannabis

(plant material)

BODY WEIGHT:

78 kg

This is a long one, jump straight to the conclusions if your not that interested.

This won't be one of those regular 'trip' reports, since the only substance I'll be addressing will be cannabis, even though I've used many other psychedelics such as LSD and mushrooms during my time in this world, which is very soon 18 years.

I started my drug career pretty early with alcohol already at the age of 13, I never used it other than on weekends and I enjoyed it quite a lot. But at my 14th birthday me and a few friends had been planning to try out some cannabis, this happened along time ago and I cant quite remember any distinct times or happenings during the night, only that I had VERY fun and couldn't stop laughing, a pretty common first time.. After that there was a 6 month period (spring, summer and beginning of autumn) of smoking cannabis every weekend and sometimes in the middle of the week if I felt like it, and the experiences seemed to get better every time I smoked it! I was really happy that I had found a new alternative to alcohol, and not only an alternative but an kickass substance to combine it with! And was really enjoying every time I smoked. This 6 month period I would call the golden age of my drug experiences (so far, its not over yet). Now when the autumn began to set and school was starting I had begun smoking more and more, and not only smoking but also dealing quite a lot. Cause I have a lot of friends that are also in to smoking weed and I was the (un)fortunate one to know some people that always had big quantities of either hash or bud at their home.

So that autumn and winter went very fast, I didn't attend school that much cause I was busy dealing weed and even more busy smoking it, I was making considerable profit each time I sold something since my dealers who I bought from had become good friends at the time and gave me discounts. So I was very happy and things seemed to work out really good. Soon I noticed that DAMN a year had passed since I first started smoking, and 6 months of that year I had smoked on almost a daily basis (5-6 times a week at least). And also I noticed that the experience had diminished from its former glory, no longer was it uncontrollable laugher and pure euphoria after taking one big bong hit, now it was down to just feeling the effects, and to get really stoned I already had to smoke a lot. Now this didn't worry me at all at the time, rather I was happy that I don’t get that messed up and actually could talk with my parents and act completely normal even if I was really stoned. You probably think that they must have known by now that their son is smoking a lot of weed by now that I've been smoking a lot.. Sure they had asked if I was doing drugs but I had always given them a straight NO as an answer and that always ended the discussion.

So I just kept smoking and dealing and going to parties and meeting people and living my life, it was a lot of fun, I continued doing that until summer came. My parents were absolutely SHOCKED at my grades, I used to be good in school and had good grades.. Now they were almost down to rock bottom. That didn't worry me though, I was high on weed, I 'knew' what I was doing. So that summer continued in the same fashion as before, Waking up in the morning and smoking a few bong hits and then just wait for calls to come in (They always did) from people who wanted to buy weed and the continuing that same routine until it was time to go to sleep.. Everyday. And since my parents were usually at our summer place in the country I often had the house to myself, and threw parties where large quantities of weed were smoked even larger quantities of alcohol consumed and banging trance music until the morning hours, this was all very fun !!

Then in the middle of the summer our family had planned to take a 2 week vacation to London, I was too scared of airport dogs to bring with me any weed and I didn't think it would be a problem to be without weed for 2 weeks.. Oh how I was wrong. Those 2 weeks in London I almost spent the entire time in the hotel room just pissed off at everything, I got VERY easily angry at my parents and had some serious problems to sleep. The first night I didn't sleep at all! The second night I got _very_ drunk and managed to fall asleep. But the hangover in the morning was something so terrible it hurts even to remember I hadn't drunk only alcohol in a long time, it was always combined with cannabis and as some of you must know, you don’t get that much of a hangover if you smoke a lot of pot while drinking. So I spent that morning throwing up my guts and feeling miserable the whole day.

On the third day I went out to London in search of weed but didn't find any cause I had no idea where to look :)

When I finally came back from London, I immediately called my dealer and asked if I could come over, and of course I could. So I went and that particular night he had some REALLY good weed on him, called blueberry or something like that. It really got me high, I didn't even remember I could be this high! I was laughing and having some small visuals, nothing trippy though. Then the rest of the summer continued in the same manner that it had started, smoking everyday, every morning, every night and selling weed whenever I could. When autumn came and school was about to start I decided that I would have to fix my grades better again, since I really wanted to go to collage. This wasn't as easy as it sounded, I don’t know if the weed had made me stupid or the fact that I didn't attend that many classes the previous year, but it was a struggle. Especially mathematics that normally was sooo easy for me was a lot harder. Anyway I managed to fix my grades up, and managed to smoke weed everyday and even deal some! I really don’t know how!

But sooner than I noticed it was summer again, and wow.. I've never smoked so much weed than I did this summer, I alone smoked about 5-10 grams per day! Now around this time my dealer came to me and said to me a few VERY wise words, oh why didn't I follow them.

He said 'I've decided to quit smoking and dealing, cause it doesn't get me high enough anymore, be careful that it doesn't happen to you too DONT SMOKE TOO MUCH!'

That didn't affect me much, since I had gotten to know many other dealers and I just thought yeah well he has smoked for 5 years and I've smoked for 1½ so there is quite a lot of difference. Of course I had noticed that I wasn't getting as high as before but that didn't bother me, it still was a very pleasurable feeling and it was high 'enough'. So I just kept going at the same track until something life changing happened (new years eve2001), me and a few friends decided that it was time to try something and the new thing in question was MDMA better known as ecstasy since a friend of mine had a very reliable source where he could get it pure in powder form. I ate 150 mg of MDMA in capsule and had the best night of my life, but without going into any details it made me look at my weed smoking and I saw it for what it truly was for the first time, an addiction.

Now we (me and my friends) had decided that E was a 'hard' drug and therefore we wouldn't use it more than once a month! I was the only of us 4 that stuck to this plan.

After that experience I was 2 weeks without weed just thinking that I'd better keep a break and just live my life instead. Then when 2 weeks had passed I got a call which I hope never would have come, it was a chance to sell a lot of weed in one big deal and in the process either earn money (few hundred dollars) or get a lot of free weed! Stupid me chose the weed! So after that I was back to my old habits, smoking everyday. And my tolerance was rising very fast and soon I was at a point where I was high less than 30 minutes after smoking. Now I was beginning to think this is just a waste of money when it lasts so shortly and decided to try to quit, but damn it was hard since I still kept getting those calls from friends asking to buy weed! It felt like I was trapped in some sort of personal hell. And I was really pissed off at myself cause of fucking up a so beautiful experience as a pleasurable cannabis high can be! I thought I'd never experience it again!

One night I couldn't sleep all night (hadn't smoked any weed) and I just laid awake thinking, in the morning I came to a decision and went and woke up my parents.. And I confessed almost everything.

They were very understanding and listened to me until I was finished with my story (a lot longer version than the one you are reading hehehe) My mother went in some kind of shock and suggested sending me to some sort of rehab, AND OMG DID I GET PISSED AT THAT!

But my father was very reasonable being an former hippy, he just told me to be cool and said its just psychic and not physically addictive that I would just be fine and that he would help me get rid of my addiction. That very same day me and my dad went to our summer place in the country (this was 3 months ago) where he pulled out a bag of mushrooms, he explained to me that they were Psilocybe cubensis. I had heard of them before but didn't know much. But I had NO CLUE that my father would have ever used them.

He then explained that the mushrooms can guide us trough life and give us useful insights on our current situation, on our past and even the future if used correctly. Now I wont go into details about this experience since words cannot begin to describe it would just feel like mockery to the experience trying to write it down, divine intervention isn't meant to be explained. Just that I ate 3 grams of those shrooms and had the most wonderful time and connected with my father on another level!

Conclusion: Now it has past 3 months since I ate the shrooms we are already planning with my dad to go tripping again in about a month or so, and we also have other plans to put up our own little plant of cannabis. So we could smoke it sometimes on special occasions and we both like the idea very much and we have even gotten my mom to realize that there is more to life than she knows. And also I've told him about ecstasy and how great it is to be at a rave and feel the music. He understands me and has promised that he will come with me one day! Not that I go that often since I still don’t use E more than once a month (it has been less lately). And now I realize that without the help of other drugs could I never have gotten out of that hell hole I was in! Thank you ecstasy and thank you Psilocybe cubensis!

This all sounds like very anti cannabis, its not. I still like the plant and would like it to be legalized. But one thing that the use of ecstasy and the one mushroom trip I experienced has learned me is that: MODERATION IS THE KEY!

Too much of a good thing will eventually backfire on yourself. And I guess that goes for any substance.

Exp Year: 2001	ExpID: 8645
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: Not Given
Published: Jul 1, 2005	Views: 23,950
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Cannabis (1), Cannabis - Hash (93) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Addiction & Habituation (10), Not Applicable (38)