DOSE:	repeated	oral	Alcohol
	2 tablets	oral	MDMA

BODY WEIGHT:

173 lb

As a preface, I have always been intelligent concerning my recreational drug use. I generally heavily research everything I have considered using and as it happens, I have tried mostly everything under the sun, all the while taking necessary precautions where I can. As it stands, I have had very positive and paradigm-shifting experiences 99.9% percent of the time.

This particular instance takes place two nights ago on my birthday. I had had a considerable amount to drink in the normal course of the day as one is wont to do on their birthday. It was also a particularly hot day -- imagine the word 'scorcher' in a local access weatherman's mode of vocalization -- and I'm afraid the alcohol didn't help all that much. While I'm not sure any of this correlates with my partially adverse experience, I definitely feel that it is worth mentioning.

It was starting to get late and at this point most of my party had retired save for two of my friends, Ryan and Ian. I had been trying to get some E as I hadn't done it in quite some time. After some difficulty, we managed to procure some later on in the evening. So my friend Ian and I had rolled together before and it was always great. Ryan has never done much of anything except a drink very rarely and a puff of weed once in a while without really inhaling. He's actually somewhat adverse to the entire idea of mind-altering substances so his willingness to roll with us was something of a surprise.

Anyway, knowing full well how MDMA can affect the body and having done it a number of times, I still ignored my knowledge of these things and didn't really prepare for my trip by at least administering a sizable dose of vitamin C or purchasing a drink to normalize electrolytes/sodium levels.

So we divided up four pills so that Ian got one, Ryan got one, and myself, being the birthday boy, got two. I took them both right away without really thinking about it around 1 AM. Alcohol may have played some part in this decision. We ended up at a really awesome club that was unfortunately having its gay night. I have absolutely no problem with this as it's usually a lot of fun but on this particular night, it was way too crowded and we couldn't fit on the floor to dance as we usually like to do.

This part of the trip was actually pleasant, though. The pills kicked in fast and we were getting real nice. My friends and I mostly talked intimately about philosophy, politics, poking fun at people walking by taking themselves too seriously, etc. Honestly just smart conversation all around all the while keeping hydrated (I had also ceased drinking alcohol after I took the pills).

After this, we went home around five with everyone still feeling right as rain. Having taken two, I was rolling really hard still as everyone else wanted to go to sleep. It is also worth noting that I had work at 11 AM. I tried to sleep but this impossible as this is where the trip took a nosedive. I laid down and I was uncharacteristically aroused as I never am on E. Every time I thought about something remotely sexual, it would shift into something very grotesque. This eventually became frightening and I was also making frequent trips to the bathroom to urinate, which was nearly impossible. Around the sixth or seventh trip to the bathroom, I noticed my hands turning blue or at least they appeared to be. I'm still not sure whether they actually were but I waited it out and felt fine.

Around 8:30 AM, I woke up Ryan as we had to be off to work which is a solid two hour commute. On the bus, I started becoming extremely hot and took off my jacket to alleviate this. It really didn't help all that much and it seemed readily apparent that I was also suffering from anhidrosis as well. This would persist for the rest of the day as well as half of the next. Waiting around for the train, I became extremely nervous and kept tapping my foot at an abnormal rate. I am not sure if this is what is called clonus as I meaningfully and consciously tapped my foot but I also felt compelled to do so.

On the train, shit really hit the fan. I was already unbearably hot and I was obviously starting to have a panic attack. For about half of the train ride, I had the very real fear that I was about to die. My heart started up like a jackhammer and I started having extremely painful palpitations. I was horrified by this as it was mentally exhausting and obviously not healthy. As I am already an overactive thinker, I began to believe that my medulla oblongata at any moment was going to tell my heart that it had done its day of work and its shift was over; time to punch out. To my friend, I seemed fine as I kept cool but I was a complete mess mentally.

This eventually subsided and we got to work all right where it was cool inside. I had pretty bad hyperthermia all day -- I would say in the 102 - 103 F range -- and found it very hard to not concentrate on my heart, which felt sore. It was probably not any help that I also didn't sleep at all. I hydrated all day still having visual hallucinations up until the end of my shift at 6:30 PM (almost 18 hours after dosing!) and after drinking some Powerade, I began to feel a bit better and I felt cooler. After taking my temperature, it was around 99.5 - 100 F. I took a cool shower and went to bed with cold compresses on my chest and head. Sleep came with some difficulty as I was terrified my heart was going to fail me in my sleep and that would be all she wrote.

I woke up fine and didn't really feel the usual depression associated with my previous use. I did feel a little out of sorts but more of the kind that comes with lack of proper sleep.

I am not sure whether the tabs I received were adulterated or simply an extremely large dose but I would recommend that everyone proceeds with caution as I had so many times and sticks to it. This may sound obvious to some but it only takes a second of indiscretion to really fuck yourself up. If I'm going to do it anyway, there's no reason to not at least make some rules me and my friends can hold ourselves to for the duration of the trip. The one time I didn't stick to my methodology that seemed to correlate with good trips also resulted in one of the worst experiences of my life and I believe very nearly my death.

It will be a long time before I try anything again, if ever. I will admit that this was an eye opening experience but I also feel as if I've simply experienced most of what chemical alterants have to offer.

If I do choose to do anything again, it will need to be an extremely special occasion and not simply because it sounds all right.

Be safe, people.

Exp Year: 2010	ExpID: 87494
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 26
Published: May 23, 2022	Views: 562
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MDMA (3), Alcohol (61), Sleep Deprivation (140) : Hangover / Days After (46), Combinations (3), Small Group (2-9) (17)