DOSE:

17 mg

oral

2C-P

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

So I'm sitting here, wondering how exactly to put the events of the last 3 days of my life into words. It seems to me so much of the psychedelic experience gets lost when trying to describe that which totally defies words, that I have never felt motivated to sit down and write a trip report beyond basic effects description. In this case, I find what I just went through too important to simply get lost to time in my memories. Anyways sorry for the length of this report, but I have this problem of not being able to stop writing once I start. Feel free just to skim it, but I wrote this mostly for myself anyways.

Now lets start from the beginning-

Now I had one trip on 2c-p prior to this experience, at a similar dose (14 mg). The effects had been overwhelming, but in a good way. Intense visuals, typical phenethylamine analytical head space, a euphoric push, and no nausea! Now there had been several times during this trip that I had been on the verge of loosing it to a bad trip due to its intensity, but in the end I was easily able to submit when the time came and I had enjoyed most of the 17 hours of my trip. I figured I had finally found a viable replacement for 2c-e, which I have never gone back to after my first 7-8 trials consistently produced too much nausea and too weird of a head space and body high to make the visual display or the trip itself “worth it”.

So, typical short sighted and self-control-less me, decides to up the dose, to see how far this chemical could really take me. If I had not BEEN A FUCKING IDIOT, I would have played around with lower and moderate doses, and realized that probably even 8-10 mg or less is enough to produce a solid 12 hour trip; that adding even 1 or 2 mg can prolong the effects several hours and add several layers of intensity; that my AMW Gemini-20 mg scale is simply not accurate enough for compounds that require doses this small; that just because you see somebody on the internet claim 30 mg of a certain compound was underwhelming to them, it doesn't mean that that will apply for you, or that that person was even telling the truth to begin with.

So without further ado, my trip. Just to clarify; no notes or anything were taken during this experience, but I did keep a consistent eye on the clock so I am able to provide an accurate enough time line.

T00:00 (6:15 pm) – Ingest approximately 17 mg of 2c-p in a parachute. I say approximately because my scale kept wandering and I was not getting a consistent reading, and even though I spent up to 20 minutes weighing and reweighing it, and I remember thinking how much more powder this 17 mg was then my 14 mg trip, but I still decided to and managed to go into the experience with a positive mind set, no worries, and nothing going on subconsciously with me that my lead to a bad trip. Turn on some cartoons and wait for the trip to begin.

T01:30 (7:45 p.m.) – Trip has already begun, already to the point where I was at 3 hours into my last trip. I began to wonder if 3 mg could really have caused such a drastic change in onset times, or if my scale had been far more inaccurate then I gave it credit for. This was the beginning of the end of the good times for me. I decided to turn on a string cheese incident concert with plans to listen to music until I'm sober enough to watch T.V., which I imagined was maybe 4-5 hours down the road, midnight or so...

Anyways the come up was not slow and gentle as my 14 mg trip had been, which gave me a nice ride uphill until 4-5 hours. This compound worked its way into me like a freight train. I remember at some time between t01:30 and t02:00 I was thinking about something and this compound just worked its way into my thoughts and head like an unwanted visitor. I am unable to put what exactly happened in words, but if I had to try I would say I could literally feel the 2c-p forcing its way into my thoughts, I could feel the 2c-p as my thought. Very hard to put into diction. Kind of like this spiraling series of thought that I had control over thinking, yet at the same time the 2c-p was directly responsible for it.

It was as this happened that my trip really started. Now most psychedelics come in waves and this one was no different. Each time more 2c-p was released (or excited or inhibited the 5t2 receptors or whatever is going on in the brain that's responsible for the increases in a trip many hours after you've dosed) a new wave of increasing visual effect would occur, along with the release of some feel good chemicals and what I would guess was substantial releases of catecholamines, because I was getting a major fight or flight response, that lead to me having a really uncomfortable first few hours of effect. I vomited for the first time at t01:45 (8 o'clock).

T02:30-03:00 – The effects had continued freight training me, and for the first time I started to really worry about how strong this was going to get. I was feeling extremely uncomfortable. The visual display increased every 15 minutes or so as a new wave would come over me, creating already by far the most detailed and vivid phenethelyamine visuals I had ever seen before. Entertaining as they were, I began to seriously worry about how much farther I was going to come up, because I simply felt like I could not take any more visuals without completely being transferred to another universe, and I really felt like if that happened I would be a danger to myself and others for many hours. And like clock work every 15 minutes as a new wave would work its way over me, penetrating every ounce of my body and soul. I started to realize I did not at all enjoy what was going on.

BUT, I figured, I'd seen darker days before. I realized no matter what was going to happen there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Once again, because I had no foresight, I had no benzos or downers on hands to take the edge off. So, I loaded a bowl and smoked it knowing that no matter what happened, it was out of my control anyways. And for a half hour or so it worked, I was in a comfterable head space, the visuals were not yet completely overwhelming and so were still entertaining, and I even played some guitar along to SCI. This was short lived though. In the end I crawled in my bed under a blanket, where I would remain for most of the next 22 hours of my life...

t03:00-05:00 (9:45 through 11:45 p.m.) – At almost three hours exactly another wave was unleashed and I was spent spiraling back down into a very uncomfortable trip. I hit a pipe again shorty after t3, but I immediately began sobbing. Why? Because of how intense the effects were. It was beyond overwhelming.

It was during this time the nature of this compounds visuals started to become apparent. It was literally creating a kaleidoscope where ever I looked. It was not breathing objects, or shifting carpet, or even amazing stacked abstract art-like visuals like 2c-e. When I closed my eyes (which I could not do for long before the intensity of the visuals would become uncomfortable) a literal kaleidoscope, which appeared to be built out of constantly moving beams of light, which seem to me to be not unrelated from eye floaters, though they are definitely two different phenomenon.

Now with open eyes the kaleidoscope would only completely over take my vision when I allowed it, however I had to continue to shift my eyes in order to prevent that from happening. Not to mention these beams of light, whatever they were doing or what they are, would cause distortions of what I was looking at more enormous then even 5 grams of mushrooms. My window may appear to take up the whole wall one second, then would appear to be several inches the next. Also the afterimage were so distinct I could look at the visualizer on my computer screen and then at my ceiling, and both screens (both the real and the after image) would continue playing the visualizer, until the after image eventually disappeared maybe upwards of 20 seconds later.

Mentally not a whole lot was going on because of how high I was. Most of my thoughts were “oh my god” or “how is this possible” or “why is this happening”. But remember what I said about this compound being present in my mind? Well that didnt change at all, and would not for many hours. When I tried to think of anything all I could feel was this 2c-p forcing its way into my mind, making me feel every second of it its strange feeling mental space.

Physically I'm about as uncomfortable as can be. Am forced to shift positions constantly, to prevent the body high from becoming too uncomfortably strong, or the visuals from becoming beyond overwhelming. I vomit again some time in this time frame but i'm not sure when. I had no control over my body temperature. I was burning up all over but as soon as I turned the fan on I was shaking uncontrollably. And my face felt like it was burning up, which I knew no matter what could not be good (as we all know over heating and brain damage walk hand in hand) so I felt obligated to keep the fan on me and try to get myself cool.

Very Important:

So now here's the scary part. Starting at about t03:00 (for the next few hours take the time very loosely) extremely toxic effects were noted. There was a serious upset in my breathing, for starters. I simply could not get enough air. Very shallow breathing, and I could not control it. It was VERY scary. Also my heart was pounding like it was on its last legs. My heart felt worse then any other time in my life, worse then even the most serious mdma binges I've gone on. It seriously felt like it could give out at any second, and every few minutes a new fucking wave of effects would come on, making my heart pound harder and my breathing more shallow each time. I am not playing around, I know what limits feel like in your body and by taking this chemical, at least at this dose, I feel like I violated all of them. I began to seriously contemplate calling an ambulance, if just to get some xanax to knock me out or something. Still I maintained, constantly re-assuring myself and reminding my self that it would eventually be over.

It was at this point I started a regimen that would be followed religiously over the next 18 hours, continuously repeating to myself not to loose hope, not to give up. I kept asking myself, “was I enjoying this”? Certainly not. “Why not?” Too over whelming. “I thought you liked overwhelming?” This was uncomfortably overwhelming. Quite distinct from a high dose of other psychedelics, even a close analogue like 2c-e. What was happening during this trip was like nothing I've ever experienced before. Translucent floating beams or lines of lights seemingly made out of or at least corresponding with tracers and afterimages, while at the same time belonging to a single piece of abstract psychedelic art that was this constantly changing, arcing living kaleidoscope composed of these constantly moving, shifting beams of light that warp, bend, distort and otherwise make complete soup of anywhere I look if I concentrate my vision for longer then a second, and it kept getting stronger and stronger by the second. All I could do was keep telling myself to hang in there.

T05:00-08:00 (11:15-2:15 a.m.) – This would be the peak. For these 3 hours I was fully on the verge of an out-of-body experience. Nothing could be done accept constantly rolling my head so the visuals didn't get too intense. I urinated somewhat frequently, which I liked, because it told me despite how extremely toxic I felt my body was still functioning somewhat normally. But lets be clear, the toxic effects were terrifying. Sharp pains where I imagine important organs are located continued shooting throughout my body at random. My heart was in serious pain it had been put through so much work. I kept telling myself just hold out, don't give up, but as the trip continued getting stronger and stronger I became more and more pessimistic. My head, heart, every organ in my body ached, this disgusting head high shared my thoughts and it just would not let up, would not leave me alone.

The visuals then began changing their nature some what, adding additional abstract kaleidoscopes on the one already in my eyes, so that I had two, three or more separate layers of visuals, each playing with itself, each making each other stronger and seemingly building a single amazing piece of art. Afterimages peak when a new wave comes on and at times I am petrified the visual display is so amazing. At one point my roof begins collapsing on itself, sliding off into eternity, then as I look down towards eternity and three separate roofs fill my eyes, each one on top of the other. A reoccurring thought was that this was not a bad trip, but just uncomfortably overwhelming.

Depending on how hot I feel I turn my fan on varying degrees of strength, and open my window even though its snowing outside. My heart starts to feel better, only feeling dangerously uncomfortable when a new wave came on, which were slowing in there occurrence and intensity. But believe you me I was about to be in-store for the slowest, most gradual, uncomfortable comedown I'd ever experienced. At a certain point during this time one of the last major peaks came and the visuals again changed their game, my roof slid open, and not entities, but certainly the foundation of what would be an out of body experience took hold.

The beams of light began to create multidimensional geometric figures again different to the kaleidoscopes, which were also still present, in my ceiling. Three of these things, each side by side and connected loosely by the beams of light take over my entire field of vision. A massive release of fight or flight hormones. What happens next is weird... My mind screams at me, demanding to know what is happening, how it can possibly explain what is occurring and why. A thought chain occurs, and I dont remember what lead me here, but I remember reaching the end of it, looking at these things and my subconscious screaming at my ego says “Dammit (my name) listen!” I say out loud “is there a god?” (a question I would like to think I've had solved since I reached the age of reason) and this 2c-p works it way into my thoughts and for a second I'm free. All the bullshit philosophy I'm always turning over in my head was quieted. I looked at this thing around me and listened, experienced.

I do not know what it is about psychedelics, the release of these fight or flight chemicals, and are instinct to wish for a creator, to be in the company of something greater, but what I know for sure, was that laying in my bed with a head full of 2c-p I came no closer to answering the question then I ever do, however, I was allowed peace from it. What a psychedelic like 2c-p does, and its up for you to decide if this is even a benefit, is it forces you to submit. All the questioning and analyzing, all the thought chains, all the bad feelings, as well as the good, they're irrelevant. You ask what the meaning of life is? Psychedelics will tell you the truth. Life is meaning-irrelevant. I mean you can place as much subjective importance on whatever you want, but at the end of the day all this is serving to do is to entertain you. At the end of the day all there is the now, always and forever, and what could be more beautiful? As the buddhists say, walk on.

I remember one particular thought chain I went off on was something like this. My friend dies and I remember him. One day I'll die, and he will be lost forever, but I will be remembered. Eventually that person will die and some one will remember him, but I will be gone, and nobody will remember me, exactly as it should be. The most natural thing on earth, to do as our world will one day do, and our species and our universe. Dissolve. To quote Alan Watts:

“We have to ask ourselves, quite fundamentally, whats all the trouble? In other words, what is your state of mind when you contemplate the possibility of everything becoming nothing? Alright, so the universe is a transitory system, like bubbles, like smoke, like foam on the water, so what? And so how easy, just go along with it, dissolve. So whats the problem? Why don't we want to give up? What do we think were going to get by holding on and by resisting the dissolution.

What I'm interested in for you to feel, is what do your really feel like inside at the prospect of everything becoming nothing, of this whole thing being a bubble that dissolves. You see about death, the reality of approaching death, people are apt to feel chilly, cold, lonely, scared because its unknown, that the most frightening thing about death is that there might be something beyond it. There are all sorts of things that scare you, but beyond every monster is death. Dissolution is the end of it all.

The act of government and religion is to fill that void beyond death with threats of a rather unspecified nature, so that we can rule people by saying 'if you don't do exactly what I say I'll kill you'. And so long as we can be scared of that, and so long as we can be made to think of death as a bad thing we can be ruled. And that is why no government likes mystics. Because if we define the mystic as the person who is no longer scared of death, because the mystic in the simplest possible language is the person that understands you have to have nothing to have something. So you can't fundamentally scare the mystic with death, because, see, what end can it all come too? Whats all the trouble about? The most it can come to is nothing.

There may be some troubles along the way, but resisting is natural, as you might say that the very cells in your body resist their dissolution. And so in this resistance there's an experience called pain, but beyond pain it's in my head. What will it be like to go to sleep and never wake up?”

T08:00-12:00 (2:15-6:15 a.m.) – Around 2, and even though an occasional increase in visuals would be felt, I could tell things were somewhat beginning to calm down. I began laughing out loud, so happy that maybe, finally, I would stop rising, and eventually get the come down going. It was a SLOW transition though, slower then I intended. I told myself by 6 a.m. I might be able to watch T.V., sleep by 9 if lucky, but as the night wore on I realized these time frames would be impossible.

I remember during these hours I was very skeptical, because all I wanted was for the trip to ware off, but it just was not showing any signs of slowing. By 3 or 4 I realized I was definitely done rising (10 hours after dosing) but in the middle of a very long plateau. I reiterated: Don't give up hope. By now most of the most toxic feeling effects were mostly gone, my veins were no longer grotesquely dilated, my heart beat at a much calmer pace, my head did not feel warm at all as long as a kept the fan on it. Every hour I took inventory on how the trip was progressing, and as distressing as the intensity was I kept going.

Around 5 I began yawning, and tried to grab a bite, but two mouth fulls of wheaties was all I could muster before that operation was aborted. I put on some of my favorite dead recordings. I realized I was going to be no where sober enough to enjoy T.V. by 6 or bed by 9 so once again I pushed back the plans another six hours to 12, hoping maybe by then I would be sober enough to at least pass out.

The euphoric rushes were long gone but the 2c-p kept hanging around like the unwanted visitor it was. I still could not think very clearly, though the mental effects were never to insane. I mean even at the moments of my most intense head fuck I could still form thoughts, remember who I was, where I was, etc. The thought chains weren’t forming as coherently and I could tell that despite the stimulation dominating my CNS my body was exhausted. There was nothing I could do but put more hours between me and t00:00.

T12:00-18:00 (6:15-12:15 p.m.) – I am absolutely exhausted at the intensity of the visuals and I discover that by turning the lights off but leaving the computer monitor on and my glasses off and stare at the mostly dark ceiling the visuals are minimalized. So for the next few hours this is what I did as the sun came up. Occasionally I would try to sleep but the closed eye visuals were simply too strong and strange sensations would rush over my body if I tried to unfocus my mind for sleep. I would try every now and again for the next few hours but by 8 I gave it up. The sun had risen but the snow was still falling so with the curtain down my room was still in a dark enough way to grant me peace from the visuals.

Slowly, and with extreme unwillingness, the visuals did begin to die back on their own, but that's to say that they went from being the most overwhelmingly intense phenethylamine visuals I'd never dreamed could exist into the realm of what one might expect from quite a hefty dose of 2c-e. The kaleidoscopes became less detailed, seemed to loose their definition, their character. The after images slowly loss there abiolity to produce entire recreations of what I looked at, instead only giving me general out lines of objects that were slowly lost to the beams of light that composed the visuals.

The colored beams and lines of light themselves too began to loose there color, instead transferring over to a more translucent clear quality or what resembled more traditional black floaters (though they are definitely two different things) instead of the bright yellows and blue they had been. They were not able to distort the world as much as they use to be, they no longer made my book shelf jump from one foot to twelve. I was no longer overwhelmed by them, and I finally began to enjoy them, but I use the word “enjoy” loosely because all I was really doing was killing time until I was sober.

All I wanted from about three and a half hours in was for the trip to be over, and maybe this explains why I had so much difficulty. I had trouble the entire trip being able to submit, because I was constantly questioning if I was going to keep rising, or if I was in physical danger, etc. Still though, I am sure that it is only because I was so use to being able to submit to overwhelming psychedelic experiences, because I have some experiences with “heroic” doses (theirs a fine line between heroic and stupid), that I was able to have the mental strength to keep going, to not give into the fear or anxiety, to fight and not to flight as it were. And in the end I did just that. It was a brutal, bloody fight, and god knows the the 2c-p went down swinging.

Sometime around 11 I took some vitamins and antioxidants. They almost made me throw up but I managed to keep them down. I also decided to smoke some weed, to see if maybe it could help me get in a more positive attitude and mindset, but as I knew it would it just brought the visuals and trip back on, to the intensity I had had maybe 6 or 7 hours ago. 12 comes and I realize once again I am nowhere near sober and I will not being going to my classes today. But out of sheer luck not 2 minutes after I have this thought I get a text from my university saying all classes were canceled because of snow. At that point I was taking whatever good news I could get.

T18:00-24:00 (12:15-6:15 p.m.) – I come to the realization this trip is going to be chugging long past t20 which is when I was hoping it would have worn off. “Don't give up.” The visuals continue loosing there quality though I am still at a +++, but I would say they were only half the intensity of 12 hours ago to give you an idea of just how strong the visuals were during the first 10 hours. I continue yawning, my bodies exhausted. My heart still hurts occasionally but I am feeling a lot better. The disgusting head high hangs around but it to is fading.

Sometime around 2 I passed out, though I do not remember doing so. I awake around 5 still very high, and no chance of going back to sleep, though feeling quite a bit more sober despite only three hours having past, just a ++. A friend comes over to buy something from me and finally communicating with some one is great. Finally down enough, I start to watch some T.V. and relax. I smoke some more marijuana with my friend which does bring the trip back up to a plus +++, but its comfortable and I don't mind it at this point, though I am cautious on hitting the bowl as to not make it too much stronger. My friend leaves and for the first time I start to really begin reflecting on what I just went through. An experience like this raises so many more questions then it answers, and I imagine years from now I will still be tossing over what happened in my mind

T24:00-36:00 (6:15-6:15 a.m.) – The next twelve hours are spent mostly watching T.V., hitting the pipe, and relaxing. Around 7 I make scrambled eggs and bacon and manage to eat most of it. Coming down by the hour but it is a very long, nerve racking process. It's like this chemical was stuck on my receptors, holding on for dear life refusing to let go.

The kaleidoscopes are long gone and now the beams of light hop around my field of vision without purpose or direction, and then they are no longer thick distinct lines but rather they are these translucent things that merely distort. Afterimages are represented only as splotches of colors. Mentally I can still feel the 2c-p in my head but it is almost ignorable. Body feels fine with occasional rushes of tachycardia but that’s it.

Around 11 (t29:00) I get on the internet for a while, able to function enough to read, think clearly, hold thoughts, and put coherent ideas together without feeling like the 2c-p is influencing the process at all. Midnight comes and I make some tacos. At this point I am largely down if I dont smoke weed, just a noticeable +. If I smoke weed it brings me up to a ++. Continue smoking weed and watching adult swim until the early morning hours as residual stimulation coursed through me.

6 o'clock comes and still at a plus + even after hitting bowls. Closed eye visuals still present and mildly distracting, but I manage to ignore them and fall asleep.

T36:00-54:00 (6:15-12:15 a.m.) – Sleep a solid 11 hours, this time with no excuse for missing my classes and I wake up at 5 in the afternoon, mostly down with a noticeable hint of altered in the air. This hangs around all day, and visuals come out when I hit a pipe all day long, however by midnight they are mostly non-existent. I fall asleep, finally down 3 days later.

In conclusion:

I may never be able to explain what happened these past few days. I will never know how inaccurate my scale was, or if an extra 3 mg could really have extended the length of my trip by at least double, and the intensity by triple fold. I will never be able to adequately explain the visuals I saw, or what it was like to share my mind with this chemical. I will never know just how toxic this chemical really is, or what kind of damage I may have done to myself. I feel normal now, but if I had to bet I would say I damaged my brain quite a bit more then I ever have with any chemical before, excluding strict serotonin releasers.

All I know is that I have a respect for 2c-p that will never be lost and an experience that will never be forgotten. To those thinking of trying this one out, tread lightly. Start with 8 mg, at most, and work your way up 1 or 2 mg at a time, and only if you have an extremely accurate scale you are willing to bet your well being on. This one is not a joke, it is not “underwhelming” or “over hyped”. I played with it like it was a recreational substance and I got burned, quite bad to be honest. This trip is really going to make me examine my doses.

I am beginning to think bigger is not necessarily better (except with mushrooms of course ). I am beginning to think maybe tripping is not worth the possible neurotoxicity or body damage, certainly not at this level. I am beginning to wonder if it is time to stop the partying. I mean 4 months ago I stopped drinking, stopped taking benzos and opiates, stopped smoking cigarettes, and I've never felt better. But at the same time I really just switched to psychedelics and began using them 2-5 times a week, at ever escalating doses. 1 trip a week, I think will, 2 on special occasions. In other words its time for me to grow the fuck up. What else is knew?

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 89337
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 18
Published: Jan 28, 2011	Views: 21,740
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