DOSE:	3 Tbsp	oral	Cacti - T. pachanoi	(dried)
	2 tablets	oral	Ginseng

BODY WEIGHT:

200 lb

11/02/2011

+0.00 hrs: I took 3 tablespoonfuls of dried grated San Pedro cactus chips with 2 ginseng caplets. Started 8.30pm, took 1 hour to eat, so 0.00hrs is 9.30pm. Didn't eat much that day, slept for a couple of hours in early evening. No alcohol, just tea. On holiday so relaxed and care free.

Previous week had taken same dose but without the ginseng and in the daytime with some company. Noted general sense of well-being with effects which were replicated on this dose. Just a nice trip with no indication of what was to come this time around. Aim was to see for myself the alternate worlds as described by Aldous Huxley, Graham Hancock, Rick Strassman and Terence Mckenna, amongst others. The only real knowledge is experience.

No previous use of psychedelics. San Pedro was the safest option I researched and being apparently legal in the UK I went for it. Previous week's experience was wholly positive.

+2.00 hrs: Feeling generally stoned, multi-coloured fractals when I closed my eyes, some objects appeared to melt when looked at directly. Felt unwell, wondered how long I would be feeling unwell for.

+2.30 hrs: Problems started when everyone else went to bed and I was left on my own. Next visit to the toilet saw me throwing up with no sign of feeling unwell ending anytime soon. This state of affairs lasted for the next 5 hours.

+3.00 hrs: Tried watching a film, 'Picnic at Hanging Rock', an enchanting, ethereal film, perfect for the trip I was on. Rendered unwatchable due to time having sped up by 2x. Soundtrack was garbled, too ill to take it in anyway, and when I tried to count the seconds on the display found that I was counting about twice the speed it would normally take to count up. Interesting that I could tell the difference but still completely unable to put time right.

The living room became the 2x room after that, with the film and the clock on the wall going too fast to keep up with. Couldn't bear to be in there even though time was altered everywhere else. It was just in there that I couldn't avoid noticing it. Time did not reset until +12.00 hrs. After the sickness wore off the insight came to me that time may exist but only by our consent. At some level we agree with each other to interact at a certain speed. If we didn't have this agreement we wouldn't understand each other, as per trying to watch the film earlier. Somewhere there is a fast forward/rewind/slow-mo replay button which my trip activated, but normally we wouldn't have access to it as we would cheat and skip the hard parts. So time is not an illusion as such, but a convenience we agree to.

+5.00 hrs: Feeling so unwell thought I would have to go to hospital. No amount of vomiting helped. At one point woke up my housemate thinking I would have to ask him to take me to A&E. Just talking to someone was actually all I needed, though, and I went back to my room after I apologised for waking him up. The sickness returned, however, as soon as I was on my own again.

+6.00 hrs: It looked bad. My face was red and blotchy, heart rate racing, vomiting and nausea. Decided that I couldn't call an ambulance to come to my house with all the commotion that would cause, so took my phone and walked down to the main road. Found my phone had no charge on getting there, so walked to the nearest petrol station to use the phone there. Stopped off at a small park on the way where I started feeling a bit better.

In the park I threw up in front of a statue. On looking up I realised I'd thrown up in front of a gargoyle. Sensed that I had offended him and quickly left. Headed back towards my original destination still not sure if I would need an ambulance or not.

Passed a bus stop with about 3 people waiting for a bus. Couldn't figure out why there would be people waiting for a bus at 4am on a Saturday. They were all staring at me. I was walking slowly but time was still 2x so that's probably why. My 'slowly' must have been like slow-motion to them.

Moved on to a larger park and I went across it in the mist with the petrol station in sight. Got to a hundred yards of the station and then I sat down on a bench. Throat parched from vomiting so much, I didn't feel like an ambulance anymore, just needed a drink. Up to this point if the police had turned up I would have been relieved but now I had no wish to run into them. So I turned back into the woods and headed back.

It was from here on that 5+ hours of thinking I was going to die was all worth it for the experience I was now to have. About 5am, +7.50hrs. Came across some blackened trees and was appalled at all the litter about the place. Resolved to come back and clear it for them at a later date. Touched various trees and closed my eyes. Felt I could see their life force as multi-coloured fractals surrounding their outline. Saw this as the aura and saw rainbow coloured specks of light as the life energy of the tree surging through to the buds in readiness for spring. The aura was in constant motion flowing up and outwards.

One tree in particular seemed to be OK letting me in and on closing my eyes saw a beautiful golden glow, the essence of the tree itself. I stood entranced by the scene for a good 5 minutes, it was incredible. Can't really describe it. Tried it with other trees but there was no such response, thought at first that maybe they were dead, before it dawned on me that they are mostly suspicious of people and had no desire to communicate. I don't know why that one tree, a birch, was different.

Headed back home but stopped off in the small park again. Found myself face to face with the gargoyle from before. There were 2 of them and I apologised for the earlier insult. Also asked if I could take shelter in the dome they were overseeing. Although I didn't see their faces move in anyway, I did sense a kind of mischievous knowing, almost a smirk. I took that to mean I had the OK and stepped forward into the dome. I turned round to view the park in the rain and mist and what I saw seemed as if the world had been washed and I was seeing it for the first time. Again I can't properly describe what I was seeing but after 10 minutes or so had passed I stepped back into the rain. I stumbled over something and picked it up. It was a branch and I sensed it was there for a purpose. Realised it was for symbolically sweeping up my earlier vomit which I did. Paid my respects to the gargoyles of the garden and also thanked nature through them for the view of creation I had just seen.

+8.50 hrs, about 6am: Finally felt I could face the 2x room and headed home. The first thing I did on arriving was to head for the tree in the garden, a large horse-chestnut. I had previously been to this tree before with experiences similar to the ones in the park. On this occasion, though, there seemed to be some communication. Looking at the outline of the tree I could alternate between a view of random branches and perfect symmetry at will. The 2 views - random and perfection - are the same, we choose to see one or the other and for some reason we choose chaos.

I went up to the tree and placed my hand on the trunk then my forehead and closed my eyes. As with the birch I saw the essence of the tree. I can't describe it except to say that although it was still dark outside in the garden it was like broad daylight with my eyes closed.

Trees are very hard to communicate with. We have no common language. Even an exchange of images is not possible. But I very much felt as if I have gotten to know the Horse-chestnut in the garden. After various encounters there is trust and maybe with this trust as a foundation it should be possible to find some kind of understanding.

Touching other plants in the garden had various effects. A strawberry plant had a plain golden aura. A weed felt a bit duller and weaker. But the most interesting was the about-to-bloom daffodil. Running my fingers up and down the stem resulted in vibrant green pulsating hues with a bright burst of white energy at the top flower end. As with the trees, I could sense, could actually see, the life force of spring waiting to burst forth from the flower.

Finally exited from the garden, staring at the Horse-Chestnut in awe as I backed off in slo-mo. Not sure what I was looking at but was treated to a final display of rainbow lights flickering all around the branches.

+11.00 hrs: At this point everything I thought of had colour. For some reason I was thinking about international relations and could see how different countries related to each other. Russia was cold blue towards Europe: they don't trust outsiders but there was an orange tinged undercurrent which was their desire to become closer to their neighbours. This orange tinge was reciprocated by the former Eastern Bloc countries - a shared history counts for much, despite what happened during the Iron Curtain years.

Around the middle east it was all red. Iran outwards radiated whatever red stood for. There didn't seem to be anywhere nearby where less aggressive countries could dilute the red. Until, that is, I reached Turkey/Greece. Surprisingly there were warm orange hues flowing both ways and I traced it back to the last big earthquake in Turkey. Greece's help and support at that time created a goodwill flow which has persisted until the present day. I identified the relations between these 2 countries as a key component in finding peace in the Middle East.

At some point I matched pink to naivety and innocence. I think it was in relation to Russia but I forget the details. I realised that pink could not be appropriate to the Gay rights movement as they have come a long way over the years. They are not naive these days so I viewed their colours. They were dark orange and deep purple. I also made the observation that the rainbow belongs to everyone and I felt slight indignation that Gay Pride had taken these colours for their own.

+14.00 hrs: Time still an issue, voices on TV sounded sped up, talking too fast to understand everything. Music also not in time.

+15.00 hrs: Finally wearing off. Still vaguely ill, housemates legendary for putting up with the commotion in the night. Advised to eat dry toast and black tea which helped. Throat still very dry, going to the toilet was now an ordeal for a different reason. Very bad smell, housemates legendary for not complaining.

+18.00 hrs: Time of writing - feel very calm and relaxed. Sitting in the living room with someone helps. Slowly getting through a pizza. Going into the garden is now a normal experience. So is time.

Having a sitter would obviously have been wise but in this instance I may well have been taken to A&E and would therefore have been deprived of the incredible experiences later on.

I have learned what time is not, what nature is, and that life is colour. Not sure at this point how I'm going to take my tedious job seriously from here. Because now I know. Except for the fast-forward button thing. Could really do with that on Monday.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 89625
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 40
Published: Nov 23, 2012	Views: 12,924
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Cacti - T. pachanoi (64) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5), General (1)