DOSE:	2 bumps	insufflated	Ketamine	(powder / crystals)
	1 line	insufflated	Ketamine	(powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

Downward Spiral

For the longest time I had a different bad habit, I was spending on average $200 a night on cocaine. It was a standard day that I had done about a gram in a single line that I realized that I needed to quit, the nose bleeds and my rapidly declining physical status prompted me to find an alternate form of recreation. I told my dealer that I was off the blow, and I wanted something to bring my down a bit and take my mind off the ever present pang in my head. He handed me a small bag of white powder, which he said was a drug called ketamine, a trainquilizer. He said it's not like cocaine, you can do lines of it as it has a very low dose requirement for an overdose. I took the bag and was off to my place, I should have probably listened to his advice...

I started off heeding his word, pouring only enough for a small bump. I snorted the bitter powder and laid back in my bed, the world was spiraling slightly, a pleasent light glow was surrounding me, all appendages became heavy, but it was weak, very faint and equally short lived. I sat up, and figured maybe the dose was too little, and I needed to try a little more. I did twice the amount the second time, laid back and enjoyed in for the short period.

I was convinced my dealer was mistaken, and it was necessary to do a full line. Due to my skills and experience with cocaine, I made one of my gram lines, and snorted it all very quickly. This time, everything got dark, I lost motor function and fell off my bed onto my floor, incapable of rising up. I loved the sensation, I was gone entirely. I heard a distant knock on my door which I ignored, I had neither the desire or ability to answer anyways. I climbed up to my bed, and thought the rest of the bag looked very appealing.

The instant the last bit disappeared, I knew I had fucked up. I faded into my bed, unable to locate my arms or legs. I was sinking, falling into a downward spiral with no bottom. The world disappeared, and I could feel my heart rate plummeting, my breathing was becoming labored. I knew I was doomed. The sensations worsened as I became aware of the very real possibility that I had overdosed, and unless I could get up and keep my body moving, I was going to die. With every bit of effort I could muster, I threw myself off my bed, smashing my forehead into my dresser and producing a nice sized gouge, I felt nothing more then a gentle breeze across my face. I crawled along my floor, my vision now stained red with blood, and the golden haze of the spiral. I made my way into my bathroom, and using both arms hurled myself into my tub, I couldn't feel my heart anymore, and didn't know if I was still breathing. With my vision blackening, I lifted the handle of the shower, and then, nothing. I was consumed, and this was how it was going to end.

I remember dreaming, about what I don't really know. Was I awake? Asleep? Dead? I thought of my family an entire country away, probably nice and cozy, blissfully unaware of my stalled heart beat. I thought of my girlfriend across the city, maybe she was dying to somewhere, maybe I had screwed everything up in my pursuit to dull the pains of reality. I wasn't sure of anything, reality was indeed gone, but nothing I had ever experienced was as terrible as this dammed spiral.

Water, very, very cold water. I rose slightly, staring at the coagulated blood built on my knuckles. I stood slowly, becoming aware of where I was and what had happened. I stumbled into the wall of my shower, taking dizzy vertigo hindered glances around my bathroom. I had escaped the spiral, possibly from the shock of the icy water, or possibly from my tolerance. I changed my clothes, walked outside, and was just so damn grateful I had a heatbeat...

Moral of the story, know your drug, know your limits, and don't take reality for granted. It sucks far worse when its gone...

Exp Year: 2008	ExpID: 89632
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Feb 21, 2018	Views: 1,110
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Ketamine (31) : Alone (16), Difficult Experiences (5), First Times (2)