BODY WEIGHT:

160 lb

For a long time I felt lost, didn't really know how to handle my self. I would get lost in a spiral of negative thought and emotion. One day I broke out of it, I remember the experience clearly. I think that I can give allot of the credit to a book that I picked up called The Tibetan book of Living and Dyeing, or something really close to that, but what that book taught me was meditation, and I started doing some, just clearing my mind and focusing on breathing and feeling.

After a while I was able to control my mind a little more, and I could start to recognize when I would start to spiral inward and after a while I learned to take deep breaths and focus on that, and that broke me out of the spiral. I was in a spiral of self pity and destruction, I'm glad that I caught it, maybe a bit to late but better later then never. I'm kinda playing catch up with my life now. Ah well, I can see the green side of the hill from here =). I have done Acid a few times, while I was in the self destructive state I didn't like smoking pot cause I would become flat, lifeless, but now I've been doing it more (mainly by my self) but it makes me feel good again like it used to in high school, I get relaxed and thats a nice break.

So pretty much the combination of breathing, self reflection, and the calming effects of pot (a little tai chi to get grounded) has helped me break a spiral I feel, hopefully I can stop thinking about this shit and start spiraling out ward and enjoy life like it should be enjoyed. I've found the answer is inside, trust your self and don't blame your self for shit that isn't your fault. Love it.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 89919
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 19
Published: Mar 3, 2011	Views: 4,910
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Breathing (470) : Depression (15), Retrospective / Summary (11), Not Applicable (38)