DOSE: T+ 0:00	20 mg	sublingual	4-HO-MET	(edible / food)
T+ 0:45	12 mg	sublingual	4-HO-MET	(edible / food)
T+ 10:30	15 mg	oral	Pharms - Diazepam	(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

115 lb

After my last experience with smoked DMT, I was left with the feeling that I had been shown all that this particular material would be able to show me at this point in my life. Coming down from my last DMT flash, I felt a voice of guidance communicate to me to return to exploring the sacred mushroom and Ayahuasca.

So, after a couple of months, I was itching for an organic tryptamine experience. After calling around, asking several friends about mushrooms, I happened to get in contact with a friend who told me that he didn't have mushrooms, but that I would be interested. I understood that the material was a structural and functional analog of psilocin, but I didn't know much beyond that. I didn't even know the name, as my friend didn't want to say it over the phone.

It turned out to be metocin, or 4-HO-MET. After reading a few trip reports along with metocin's TiHKAL entry, I decided that this synthetic tryptamine might just have something to offer beyond silly hallucinations and mindless fun. And it certainly did.

[T+00:00]
It is 3PM. The metocin came in chocolates, dosed at 13mg each. I started by eating one and a half on an empty stomach; had I found mushrooms, I would have gone for the 7-8g range, so this was what I wanted to achieve with metocin. As the chocolates dissolved under my tongue, and I started to taste that weird, familiar tryptamine flavor, I lied down on my couch, said my prayer to the tryptamine gods, and went through my usual ritual. (i.e., “I am giving myself to you, please do not harm me; I have nothing but respect, reverence, and love for you; Please show me what I must learn,” that whole bit.)

[T+00:30]
A very psilocin-like feeling begins to creep through me. There is a bit of excitement, a small rush of energy, but what stands out the most to me is that I do not feel anxious at all. When I eat mushrooms or use DMT, I get anxious; this is normal, I do not fear it, and it fades quickly. But with metocin, it seemed that real fear was inconceivable; a bad trip could not be had. At this point I also started to experience the presence of other beings. The contact was not as pronounced as I find with DMT, but it was slightly different from psilocin in that the entities seemed very kind and guiding. Psilocin beings tend to present themselves to me as tricksters – tricksters who want me to have a good time and to learn a few things, but tricksters nonetheless. The presence of the spirit (or whatever it may be) of metocin was gentle. This experience almost felt “easy,” like I had “cheated” my way into psilocin territory. This thought was quickly dismissed by the presence.

[T+00:45]
Every time I take a psychedelic substance these days (I restrict myself to mushrooms, Ayahuasca, DMT occasionally, and now metocin!), I always ground myself by forcing myself to believe that the spirit of the material resides in a corner in my ceiling. After speaking with the presences I felt for about 15 minutes, the open-eye visuals began to overtake the experience. After another five minutes of staring at incredible Aztec and Mayan patterns, blazing in reds and yellows for the most part, forming from the bumps in my ceiling. I notice the absence of a feeling of another being(s), which made me sad for a moment, until I was told, “We are inside you now.” From this point on, there was very much an “aliens in my body” kind of feeling, the same thing I get from a heavy dose of mushrooms. It is at this point that I decide that I can handle more of this material, and in fact should push the limits (safely) if I want to gain insight into anything at all. I eat the other half of the second chocolate (now at 26mg), then break off about half of another chocolate and eat it. My dosage is now 32mg, and I feel radiant with psychedelic energy flowing through my body. I tell the presences/voices/beings, “More! More! Harder!” in a teasing way.

[T+01:30]
I have noticed that things come in waves on metocin, just like with mushrooms. However, these waves seem to be a bit more pronounced on metocin. On mushrooms, I have moments of clarity, but I am still very altered (bodily and in thought). On metocin, there are moments that feel nearly baseline, except for the small body buzz. It seems that the mere realization of these baseline moments makes them vanish. The waves are felt less dramatically with eyes closed.

I am filled with creative thinking and magical thoughts. Many of them were very silly, and some were quite insightful and profound. One of the sillier ones arose from a visual effect I kept noticing about my ceiling. The whole of the ceiling would shift around, like it was sliding. It looked like it was passing beyond its own barriers and support system, the walls. I immediately created the scenario that when my apartment building was built, my unit was given too much ceiling space because the builders didn't bother to measure the door. I laughed hysterically when I told myself that the most sensible thing to do would be to write a letter to my congressman imploring him to create a Ceiling Allocation and Recycling Department, because I had too much ceiling, and I wanted to donate some to the needy.

[T+02:15]
The closed-eye visuals of metocin must be elaborated at this point. The open-eye visuals are very much like a heavy dose of psilocin: things melt and crawl slowly, colors bleed somewhat, colors intensify, all objects and surfaces appear alive with psychedelic glow, and patterns (frequently Aztec and Mayan in style; I always see this type of imagery, though) arrange and synthesize themselves out of the textue of the wall and the bumps in my ceiling. Et cetera. All of the sheer beauty and alive, electric quality is seen in all things, living and inanimate. Sound familiar yet?

I notice that I have been cerebrally enjoying the open-eye visuals and mystical thinking that comes from this material for quite some time. Realizing that this is probably not going to develop much more, I close my eyes. I believe I am reaching the plateau, and it has been an incredibly smooth ride. With eyes closed, I ask the tryptamine gods to show me something that I must learn. (I have the most psychedelic experience with smoked DMT, with mushrooms being a close second, and I always have the need to seek out the presence and guidance of the spirit[s] of these materials.) After this communication, the typical psilocin-like visuals grew in intensity, clarity, and detail. Shifting patterns, alive with color and with stylized faces or hand peering through them, swirled into what I would call “narrative hallucinations.” The narrative quality seemed to be something unique to 4-HO-MET, but the closed-eye visuals became more like a strong dose of LSD.

[T+03:00]
There were several of these narrative hallucinations, but they were very hard to get a grasp on, let alone remember. The one closed-eye, narrative hallucination I recall vividly is still something that I have not found a way to interpret or integrate: for at least three minutes, I stared at a bird. The bird had the usually whitish, grey, and bluish colors typical of pigeons, and it appeared to be a pigeon, but it had a strange, beautiful, crown-like cluster of feathers adorning the top of its head. At this point during my experience, I was experiencing alternating macroscopia and microscopia, both with eyes open and with eyes closed – it was not so dramatic that nothing made sense; it was more like I would fall into microscope-vision for a few minutes, and then I would feel like I was the size of a molecule. As the bird slowly took flight and flew past my face, I noticed that its feathers had thousands of eyes covering them. I started to stare at the eyes on the feathers, and I “zoomed in” to the hallucination: the iris of one eye grew to fill my entire visual field, turning into an immensely complex fractal pattern. This was the absolute height of the visual aspect of this psychedelic experience.

[T+04:30]
I experience more and more waves, alternating from near-baseline to intensely psychedelic. At this point, however, I feel the presence of the “metocin entities” begin to fade. I tend to get nostalgic about these things while they are still occurring. They give me one last bit of guidance: “We have been with and in you, and now you can take our knowledge with you.” Again, I notice the oh-so-subtle difference between 4-HO-MET and psilocin: 4-HO-MET will not shatter your ego, you must do it yourself. 4-HO-MET, at high doses anyway, will tell you that you are a messiah, that you must indeed preach the gospel of the sacred mushroom and of the world of tryptamine beauty and richness. These thoughts must be dismissed. It was not difficult whatsoever to abandon my own ego in this state, but I found it strange that it survived the onset of a psychedelic tryptamine. I was told by my friend that people enjoy this effect, but I strive to achieve the state of ego death when I do decide to ingest these materials. I remind myself that while individualism is of great importance, all of humanity has the ability to experience this. Any mammal that relies on a network of serotonin can experience this. I have merely cultivated the ability to actually look at what it is, eye-to-eye, and to describe the experience.

[T+6:00]
At the six-hour mark, visuals are starting to drop off, slowly. The waves are less and less intense, like an ebbing tide. Magical thinking is still present, as is an utter inability to use my laptop or my cellphone correctly. This leads to the thought, “If only we had made microchips out of serotonin instead of silicon, this wouldn't be difficult right now,” and for the hundredth time, I am propelled into side-splitting, hysterical laughter.

[T+8:00]
At 11PM, the eight-hour mark, I am still experiencing some closed-eye visuals, very sparse open-eye visuals, and a bit of silly thought patterns. I am very much awake, and realize that I will remain awake for a few more hours at least, but I do not feel stimulated; I feel very much at peace. I then notice another similarity between metocin and psilocin: the comedown feels exactly the same. I got the same sense of universal understanding, of cosmic peace. As I say to first-timers, after a legitimate dose of mushrooms, I feel like I can understand and accept the fact that anyone voted for George W. Bush. This usually causes snickering and curiosity, but it is a very appropriate metaphor for the way I feel coming down from both psilocin and metocin: I do not understand everything, and what I do not understand, I accept. It is a very joyous sacrifice of oneself to the essence of peace.

[T+10:30]
It is approaching my usual bed time. And I'm still having mild psychedelic effect! It is, however, not bothersome in the least. It is pure tryptaminic joy. I take my daily, prescribed 15mg of Valium and hope for peaceful sleep. The experience itself doesn't seem to be the thing keeping me awake; rather, it feels so simultaneously wonderful and insightful that I am compelled to think about integrating and describing the experience. Recalling memories of visions produces small after-effects, rousing about the visions once more, in a much more subtle, loose kind of way. I remember to eat. I remember what cannabis is. After another hour and a half, I am asleep finally.

[Conclusion]
4-HO-MET / metocin is nothing short of wonderful. From what I have read, which indeed is limited, toxicity does not seem to be an issue. I would not recommend trying to be a hero, dosage-wise, but I have read a report in which the author confused metocin with another material and ingested 150mg. Not only was he safe, but he had a fun experience. This suggests to me that it is very similar, again, to psilocin in its metabolization and toxicity profile. Don't go crazy with it, but know that you will not come to harm.

One thing I will say, though, is that this material seems to draw me in. Maybe I'm just a huge fan of psychedelics, but I found myself having to fight off the urge of eating the rest of my stash for a couple days after my first experience. And on that note, the “reset time” for tolerance with metocin seems marginally smaller than psilocin: some people are able to achieve the same state with the same dosage just 3-4 days later. Myself, I prefer to wait two weeks at the minimum, not just to keep the experience special and guiding, but also to rid myself of any hint of tolerance.

As for the obvious question of which do I like better, I can honestly say that I do not know. I am drawn to the organic nature of the sacred mushroom, as I am drawn to its ability to destroy one's ego and force one to consider oneself as a piece of the rich tapestry that is human consciousness. Like I said, this is achievable on 4-HO-MET, but it must be done almost ritualistically. I found myself reminding myself that I am just one piece of a puzzle that is larger and more complex and strange than the human mind can imagine. So: if mushrooms are available to you, or if you know your mycology and are a good mushroom hunter, I would stick to that route. It comes from nature, and it's been used by humans for thousands of years, whereas metocin is relatively new. However, when one is in a pinch and wants/needs a psychedelic experience, 4-HO-MET is absolutely a wonderful material that is very gentle and forgiving on the user. Just be ready to donate a bit of time to it.

I don't mean to sound snobby, but I don't understand taking a less-than-visionary dosage of any tryptamine. Why people take 1.5g of mushrooms is a mystery to me. This is where 4-HO-MET becomes very practical. Two and a half doses of 13mg each, which cost very little per dose, took me to the level of 7-8g of mushrooms. Smoothly. So, while I respect the mushroom above metocin, I do feel that I have met my match and my love in this particular synthetic.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 91248
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 26
Published: Jul 22, 2011	Views: 28,214
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4-HO-MET (436) : Glowing Experiences (4), Entities / Beings (37), First Times (2), Alone (16)