DOSE:

repeated

oral

Morphine

(pill / tablet)

BODY WEIGHT:

180 lb

There seems to be a feeling among occultists, or at least the ones I've met and talked to, that the only substances that have any worthwhile magickal value are entheogens. Without endorsing opioids or there use, I would like to correct that. First of all, any mind altering substance can be used magickally (tho certainly some work better than others). In my nearly five years of opioid use I have had quite a few mystical/magickal experiences while under the influence of these substances, but one in particular stands out. First: a disclaimer. I don't care if anyone reading this doesn't believe in magick. I didn't either until a near death experience led me to it. My whole view of the world, and what is possible in this world, has been changed by the practice of magick. If you don't believe in magick then I encourage you to go out and try some.

To begin with I was already using opioids (heroin mostly, but I would use whatever I could get my hands on) on a regular basis by the time I started practicing magick. I wasn't a full blown addict at this point, but that was mostly due to my lack of cash and my unwillingness to resort to petty crime to fund my habit. While under the influence of heroin or another opioid I found that whole astral realms could accessed with a sufficient dose. Strange vistas opened up that were populated by vaguely menacing beings. When I began practicing magick, I deliberately sought out these realms.

At the time of this particular experience which I'm going to relate to you, I was living in an apartment with my fiance and my best friend. We all enjoyed getting high. They on whatever drug they could procure, while I remained almost exclusively faithful to heroin. One day my best friends brother arrived from another state. He had been prescribed 15 milligram morphine tablets for a very painful back condition. And when he came to stay the weekend, he proceeded to hand out the motherfuckers like candy.

Words can't adequately describe the feeling of being righteously high on opiates. Gone is all worry, stress, anxiety. Everything unpleasant fades away in the beautiful wash of euphoria. And my God were we ever high. The second day he was there, I took either five or six of those little blue miracle workers over the course of about ten hours, and then proceeding to enter the land of nod. I can't remember exactly what I witnessed that day in my opioid visions, but that night as I lay down to go sleep I found that as I slipped into the hypnagogic state, I was able to keep my awareness (this is another thing that opioids, when taken at a sufficient dosage, are good at doing. I have had many lucid dreams thanks this substances ability to let me keep my awareness as I slip into the dream world)and found myself marveling at a procession of vivid hypnagogic short films. But shortly these visions ended and I was in a calm, pitch black world. Quite suddenly I felt my consciousness leaving my body. I soon found myself floating over my prone body, looking down on it from a higher perspective. Strangely, I was aware of my body and my consciousness simultaneously. My dissociated consciousness felt free, unhindered, liberated to do as it pleased, while my body (normally I hate this skinny shell of meat and bone)felt wave after euphoric wave of the morphine.

I drifted around the room, looking at various objects, then I willed myself to go my mom's house, to see if I could manifest myself visually to her. Oddly, although I ended up instantly at her house I was suddenly afflicted with blindness. I could see nothing, but I knew I was there. I returned to my apartment and drifted around. I did this for some time then went to sleep. I haven't since felt anything as wonderful as that night I don't think I ever will.

These days I'm sober (save for the occ. hit of weed and the rare times I use entheogens to supplement my magickal practice). I know now that to be dependent on any drug is horrific. I speak from personal experience: my fiance and I spent 20,000 on heroin over the course of three months. And at the end of that binge, I felt as if I'd just crawled out of the ninth circle of Hell. It's better to practice mind control techniques like vippassana meditation, pranayama, and yoga then it is to rely rely on some foreign substance to achieve a mystical state. I well and truly regret being so reckless with my drug use. It hindered my magickal development severely.

In summation: Opioids have the potential to unlock strange new worlds and states of consciousness, but there danger often outweighs there usefulness.

Exp Year: 2009	ExpID: 91834
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Dec 28, 2013	Views: 21,219
[ View PDF (to print) ] [ View LaTeX (for geeks) ] [ Swap Dark/Light ]
Morphine (211) : Not Applicable (38), Multi-Day Experience (13), Mystical Experiences (9), Retrospective / Summary (11), General (1)