DOSE:	repeated	smoked	Cannabis
	25	oral	Mushrooms - P. semilanceata	(dried)

BODY WEIGHT:

9.5 st

I wanted to share a difficult Psilocybe experience with positive outcomes. I had been feeling suicidal three days before I ingested Psilocybe semilanceata. Using mushrooms while in such poor mental health has always been discouraged. I ignored this rule.

I harvested the mushrooms myself, when I found them growing in my back yard early this autumn. Psilocybe semilanceata, also known as 'Liberty Caps', are common where I live. I dried them on a plate on top of my kitchen cupboard.

I took 25 mushrooms, a low dose. I wasn't wanting to visit Mars, just explore my head. I had smoked a few joints before the trip and continued to smoke during. I smoke regularly and have a high tolerance to marijuana. It took about an hour for me to feel the trip begin.

I was in my own home, and spent most of the trip looking into a large mirror. I noticed a lack of consistency in my self-image; sometimes I appeared as a child, sometimes as an adult. I had very little visual changes, other than that. In my mind I began watching various traumatic events, both from my childhood and from present. I cried, for the pain is so deep. This was difficult to experience, but I gained much from it. I could perceive patterns of behaviour and repeating attachment patterns that I was unaware of before.

The trip felt like psychotherapy. As a result of this trip, I was able to take feelings of rejection and resentment and reprocess them into acceptance and forgiveness. Although I would not recommend the suicidal Psilocybe semilanceata, I stand as proof it can be done with great benefit. I believe the key is a very low dose, and to make sure to be in a very safe place.

Exp Year: 2011	ExpID: 94180
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 26
Published: Jul 23, 2020	Views: 915
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Mushrooms - P. semilanceata (90) : Depression (15), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), General (1), Alone (16)