DOSE: T+ 0:00	15 mg	oral	Amphetamines	(ground / crushed)
T+ 2:00		smoked	Products - Spice-Like Smoking Blends
T+ 2:30		smoked	Tobacco - Cigarettes
T+ 5:30	1 tablet	oral	Caffeine
T+ 7:30	2 g	oral	Vitamin C
T+ 9:00	1 tablet	oral	Melatonin
T+ 0:00	1600 mg	oral	Pharms - Gabapentin	(daily)
T+ 0:00	20 mg	oral	Pharms - Fluoxetine	(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

135 lb

d-amphetamine spice fluoxetine gabapentin nicotine caffiene

Background: I take fluoxetine and gabapentin (bid) for bipolar I. Yes I know that's not by the book treatment, but I'm a weird case as I also have a form of tourettes, and chronic moderate disassociation/visual distortions (don't think being on K all the time would be awesome because it sucks). I also react very strongly to drugs, so even if a med works great for me I always manage to get the weird side effects that are barely listed. I rarely get manias that require me to take an antipsychotic, and when they happen just 1 mg of risperidone for 2-3 days will stop it dead. I have found that in having a mood disorder I co-operate with my psych or therapist (ones that listen) because repeated hospitalizations are horribly traumatic and unneccesary; also DBT (type of therapy) is VERY helpful and truly mind-expanding. I have taken mixed amphetamine salts on multiple occasions but never d-amphetamine.

T+ 0.00 - I take a 15 dexedrine spansule, crush/chop the beads as finely as possible and parachute the powder.

T+ 1.00 - I finally get a slight alert and I'm a little jittery.

T+ 2.00 - I'm sure I've peaked by now but there's no rush. Shrugged and decided to try 30 next time. I erred on the side of caution because I have only been prescribed adderall (mixed salts of l- and r- isomers) and wanted to test the water. This is so much less jittery and pushy than adderall; it lacks the sweats and body/adrenaline high. I miss the additional stimulation but I will settle for fewer side-effects any day of the week. No real high at all so decide to smoke some 'spice' type incense that I bought on a whim one day at a gas station. If only I could get the real deal behind the counter.

T+2.30 the spice is fully ingested. Feel very energetic but relaxed. Go for a cig, which does not substantially alter the experience at all. This is nothing special but I'm gradually noticing that I'm feeling contentment. Not euphoria at all, just my usual depression and lethargy fading away. Also my back doesn't hurt as much as usual, weird.

T+5.30 Spent 3 hours cleaning, and not because I'm methy but because I'm usually dysfunctional and stuff piles up in a really disorganized way. First time I've been this clear-headed in years. Normally my thoughts are all over the place...rather they still are but I can quickly brush off the intrusive ones. It's like anything related to the task at hand has a louder voice or my scatterbrain had its volume turned down. The sensation is gradually fading though and I'm feeling increasingly foggy-headed like my attention is fading with it. Took a store-brand caffeine pill to wake up mentally a bit but there is little change except for what I'd expect from caffeine added on top.

T+7.00 The effects are mostly gone. Still feel driven and upbeat but the comedown is apparent with some anxiety and a dazed feeling. Appetite is nil and I know I need food so I smoke a little more spice.

T+7:30 The cannabinoid high is mentally more pronounced but physically the same, minus the body relaxation which I assume is being negated. Worked for my appetite. Managed to eat some cottage cheese and a banana as I 'came down' and I hardly have an appetite to begin with. Took a couple grams of vitamin C to flush out the tail-end of the amphetamine comedown and as precaution against free radical damage (phenethylamines may cause it if I remember correctly because of their mode of action.)

T+9:00 Sleep time. Took a milligram of melatonin and slept like a log.

Woke up a little more tired and nervous than usual but nothing serious. It appears that a drug that 'didn't work' because I still wouldn't stay still in class, and one I abused as a teenager in pure d-isomer form may make me functional in adulthood. It got rid of my lack of interest and energy, with very little high or overstimulation. I'm so serious about the way it temporarily 'fixed' my brain that I'm going to talk to my psych about cautiously adding it to my regimen (stimulants and bipolar usually do not mix). The d-amphetamine is superior to mixed salts any day for focus but only lasts maybe 6 hours at the most for ADD purposes, but I assume that due to the much lesser body load that re-dosing would be less unpleasant. Adderall is honestly better recreationally so I don't get why this isn't prescribed first.

From my experience any stim abuse will crush my soul if I get seriously hooked, plus it makes it hard for people to get help they need if controlled meds are being diverted. I also can't believe how many of my friends have begun to fall off the face of the Earth to do loads of coke or oxymorphone or some other hard drug that does nothing for them but make them act like a reject. I'm really over that scene. I guess I'll just have to take a little bump of a hard drug to NOT be a non-functional adult and get a grip on my life.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 94894
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: Apr 18, 2017	Views: 11,417
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Amphetamines (6) : Combinations (3), Depression (15), Therapeutic Intent or Outcome (49), General (1), Alone (16)