DOSE:

Methoxetamine

BODY WEIGHT:

204 lb

M-Hole

First of all, I'm not entirely sure about the dose, but it was quite a lot. I'd say that if you filled up a soda bottle cap half-way to maybe slightly more than half-way, that'd be approximately how much I took. Anyway, here's my story:

I felt like an Indian god because I had 12 hands. I could feel each one as it froze into existence and then faded away. My body image was not altered, it was destroyed. It was as if someone had turned the refresh rate down in the matrix. A trail of my body was left as I moved, quantized to some invisible grid.

I had experienced tracers before: the lingering visual artifact of movement, like the blob left in your eyes after getting your picture taken. Move your hand – you can see it sober. But this was different. Someone had turned on an internal strobe light in my brain as I moved.

Everything looked distant like the zoom and focus was off on the camera in my brain or as if I were looking through the wrong end of a pair of binoculars. This became so intense that I left my body entirely.

I stared at my body and my room as if from above, which had taken on a romantic, William S. Burroughs atmosphere to it. The glare of my computer screen barely illuminated my distant body, which now began to buzz in and out of existence. I marveled at how cool it looked, how deviant, heroin-chic everything seemed. And then I opened my eyes.

The sound of my air filter became harsh until it screeched and throbbed and scraped like scrap metal beating against a malfunctioning air conditioning unit. In short, it was the most fascinating noise music I had ever heard.

I found myself walking, but I couldn't feel my limbs move. It felt as if I were on stilts, or rather that my legs themselves had become stilts. I found my limbs snapping into place and resonating like a tuning fork or a stiff spring. Basically, I felt like a robot moving with abrupt, mechanical and effortful movement.

I found my way from my bed to my computer. It seemed miles away and the buzzing noise in my head (now no longer related to my air filter) grew increasingly oppressive and loud. My body had only a vague position in space. I could feel quantum uncertainty rushing through it like waves rushing over the beach.

When I focused on a key on my keyboard, it grew large as if a magnifying glass were being held to it. This made it hard for me to figure out the key's exact position and as I went to strike a key I would invariably miss.

At this point I found it best to lie down again. I began to vibrate and glitch violently. I could no longer focus my eyes properly. It seemed as if I were sitting on a couch watching a television and someone was shaking the camera. This was quite different from shaking one's head or the blurriness and tunnel vision of drinking too much.

At this point my body image became so distorted that as I listened to music I could feel each note move through my body. The music and I melded together into a singular sensation. I was enveloped in the music like a warm blanket.

I liken what happened next to being on a television set, lying on the bed, when all of a sudden the grips pick up and take away the walls to the set, and a the lights go dim and zoom in one your body lying on the bed with a bright spotlight and then zooms out again to reveal that the bed and the stage have entirely disappeared. I'm flying over a surrealist landscape of sound at this point.

It felt as if I was now fully anesthetized, especially on nitrous, being numb to the world and my surroundings, only MXE is different. It felt as if I was anesthetized, except I could still move and I could still think. I wasn't able to simply recall these feeling later, I was fully aware of them at the time, thinking with clarity and focus.

The world was dissolved into an infinitely complex Picasso painting and as if in a dream I was aware of the details only when I focused on them. But when I did, each detail was as complex as the whole and was in and of itself a barely decipherable cubist masterpiece. This marked the beginning of experiencing something too complex for words to describe properly. The only way I can put it is that it felt as if I were moving in and out of a hundred dimensions.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 95791
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 25
Published: Jul 24, 2016	Views: 1,503
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Methoxetamine (527) : General (1), Alone (16)