DOSE:	3 g	oral	Syrian Rue	(tea)
	6 - 7 g	oral	Mimosa tenuiflora	(tea)

BODY WEIGHT:

75 kg

An Underestimated First Experience

My First Ayahuasca trip

After a lot of research on this interesting brew, I decided to buy the ingredients to make some ayahuasca (although not true ayahuasca because I used mimosa and rue - anahuasca) with the intention of getting an idea of the intensity for future. If I discovered it was something I thought I could handle, I would plan to take some self exploration trips at a later date.

My previous psychedelic/hallucinogenic experience consists of Psilocybin Mushrooms (P. Semilanceata), AMT, Salvia (20x/50x) and Ketamine. Because some of my mushroom trips were reasonably high dose I thought a low dose of ayahuasca would be quite an easy ride – how naïve of me!

Anyway, when my ingredients arrived I planned to just eye up a quarter of the 20g bag of mimosa hostilis as a ‘tester’ to better prepare myself for a stronger future trip. Another reason I only wanted to do the ‘threshold’ dose of 5g was because I was alone with no guide or sitter. After eyeing up what turns out to be around 6-7g of mimosa hostilis and 3g of Syrian rue and proceeded to make two cups of liquid – one of each substance boiled down three times.

Set and Setting:
In a large farm building I am comfortable and familiar with, but on my own which is why I opted for a low dose. I am quite a long way away from family and friends as I have moved here fairly recently, but I think this turned out to be a good thing as it was a very personal reflective experience . I am feeling very calm and in a good mood, interested to see what I would experience from it.

Here’s what happened from around 2:30pm after a fasting since the night before:

T-0:20 – Drink the first cup of Rue. Not as bad tasting as I was expecting maybe because of the lemon juice I used during boiling it up.

T+00:00 – Sip the cup of Mimosa. Again, not as bad as I'd heard it would taste but worse than the rue and still, each sip dried my whole mouth and throat out.

T+00:15 – Not sure if my thought patterns are slightly different or if it is a placebo but I need the toilet so I stand up, and by the time I’d crossed the room I notice faint patterns on the door and the swinging movement of opening it seems somehow strange and I realise the brew is definitely starting to work. The journey to and from the toilet took longer than usual because I kept getting distracted by the increasing patterns on the walls. By the time I return, I’m on a similar level to a mild/moderate mushroom trip with similar visuals although the patterns are more geometrical and clear-cut.

T+00:30 – I’m feeling like I might need to throw up, but I hold it down. I wandered around a couple of rooms with the ‘adventurous’ shroom-like mindset only deeper in thought as opposed to just giggling at everything. It was around now that I realised it was just coming on stronger and stronger and I remember thinking to myself ‘this is a lot more intense than I thought it would be!’

I also started to worry a bit about how long I would be like this and there was an underlying feeling of general uneasiness. I partly put this down to my underestimations of the brew and the fact I could here people and tractors in the farm next door.

T+45:00? – Really quite intense now, I notice a strong feeling of presence with me, not particularly bad just constantly there with me. I also notice I can physically feel my whole body almost buzzing or tingling like I am more aware of my skin. Everything I look at is starting to distort a lot the more I look at it. If I just fleet my eyes past something, it looks pretty much the same but whenever I rest my eyes on something, it changes shape/colour/texture and almost becomes unrecognisable. Still feeling a bit uneasy, I lay down with a blanket and close my eyes and enjoy some closed eye visuals. They are quite distinct and clear and the more I focus on them the less I’m even aware of my physical body, almost like the other side of my eyelids is a different world altogether. The visuals consisted of impossible patterns all differently coloured. There was more than pattern at any one time one all on top of each other that when focused on at the same time made different patterns and images, but before I could see and real details it moved onto the next one.

T+1:00ish – I now don’t have any concept of time, and very little control of my train of thought, I am still lying down under a blanket contemplating my life in general. It feels like who I am is made up of the experiences in life and the ayahuasca has taken these layers of my personality away bit by bit and I am left with the most basic form of myself. The sense of presence is now a lot stronger than earlier and I’m sure it is male. If I was a religious person it would almost be like I was with God, but I am a complete atheist so to me it was as if this ‘presence’ was a perfect version of myself - like my own personal god. This presence seemed to be behind me, guiding me through the trip and I completely understood the other trip reports which had told of similar things. This presence wasn’t talking to me but kind of feeing my thoughts forward and it tells me that I should be happy with who I am and that I should be more content with myself in future. I came to the realisation that while on ayahuasca you have to kind of treat it as a ‘being’ rather than just an effect on your mind and body. I noticed this when I tried to steer my thoughts around out of curiosity, the ‘presence’ stabbed back at me with a glimpse of general negative emotions and I really got a taste of the power this drink has!

I have no idea how long I lay there for with my eyes closed but I realise after a while that the feeling of being uneasy was long gone and in fact I felt very happy and content. I start to need the toilet again and I think maybe it was wearing off so I opened my eyes: and realised I couldn’t have been more wrong. The room I was in had completely changed. I knew it was the same room but my field of vision was all divided up and -rection. As before, things weren’t quite as abnormal if I just skipped my eyes past them but nothing looked as it usually does. If I just rested my eyes for a second on something, such a bottle of beer, it would crack and distort while changing colour or stretch so it almost touched the ceiling. All the while, there were beautiful patterns on every surface as well as in the ‘air’ wherever I looked.

Now my eyes were open, I was aware of my body again and felt an amazing rush of euphoria that completely outshines that of MDMA and at the same time I could feel that euphoria in every cell in my body so so much more than just a happy feeling; like when you were a kid about to go somewhere very exciting, that feeling constantly but on a higher level. I could also feel/hear noises, I don’t know if they were from outside or auditory hallucinations but they were a series of low buzzes, clicks and crackles. It’s hard to explain but sometimes I would suddenly notice them and never hear them start up, they would be faint but still noticeable.

Just the simple walk to the toilet seemed like an epic event; every wall and door that I walked past was painted in a different light and it seemed like every little thing had its own purpose and energy (as hippy-ish as that sounds!). When I got to the toilet I didn’t feel steady enough to stand up so I sat down just staring at the wall opposite me. As with the CEV’s, there were lots of layers of patterns which all came together to form different pictures which when I looked at it, it felt as though my mind surged forward into a dark purple tear in the wall. It’s hard to remember if my eyes were open or closed for these few seconds but briefly my mind was nowhere near the bathroom I was actually in. Shaking my head, snapping out of it, I thought how weird that was but how everything is taken for granted (ayahuasca put me in a very hippy state of mind) so I left the bathroom and went to roll a cigarette but that turned out to be very hard! On mushrooms I find it hard to roll up because I keep getting distracted by something or another or my mind will wander, but on ayahuasca there is also this as well as the powerful feeling of all these energies connecting with my body. This overwhelming feeling of euphoria/presence and all the energies in the room were almost too much emotionally, there is no acting the hard man while on this, I had to take a back seat and see what happens. I can completely see why people are brought to tears on higher doses!

I sat for a while in a seat with a blanket and watched some music videos of Red Hot Chilli Peppers (it was very hard navigating around YouTube!) and just let my mind expand beyond my head and thought about what a blissful state I was in. I looked at the time and couldn’t believe it was only two hours into the trip!! I was fairly sure it was actually slightly wearing off now but I was still tripping harder than I ever had on anything else, apart from maybe one particular salvia trip but that’s not something you can really compare anything to. I decided to explore some other rooms again now that I was in a better state of mind than at the beginning of the trip. There was still a faint feeling of nausea which kept coming in waves throughout the whole experience so I took a bowl of cereal with me on this little exploration. Every time I walked into a different room I just stopped to appreciate it for a while and if I touched the wall with the palm of my hand I felt a very distinct energy coming off it which slightly differed in each room. On a higher dose I could imagine myself interpreting this as the walls being alive, but I will have to wait or another time for that. When I came back from this, I was slowly but surely sinking back to reality with just mild shroom-like visuals and flickering patterns. The whole experience was about 3.5 hours from start to finish.

All things considered, it was far more intense than any of my shroom trips from almost every angle and although it was a fairly low dose, it has given a new benchmark on what a real ‘trip’ is. I am very glad I had this experience even if I did completely underestimate how much it would hit me. I always have been and always will be a very anti-religious and anti-spiritual person. I don’t think any amount of ayahuasca will change that but nonetheless I appreciate its power and ability to see far into ones unconscious mind and potential to learn more about oneself. I understand how people can use ayahuasca to treat addictions and even maybe rid bad personality traits because whilst on it, I appreciated life and everything in it a lot more.

I look forward to my next experience on ayahuasca but next time I think I will do it in a completely natural environment and away from civilisation and perhaps with a higher dose and a sitter.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 97514
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Dec 20, 2021	Views: 486
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Huasca Combo (269), Syrian Rue (45), Mimosa tenuiflora (74) : Alone (16), Entities / Beings (37), Combinations (3), First Times (2)