DOSE:	45 g	oral	Mushrooms - P. cubensis	(fresh)
		oral	Coffee
		smoked	Cannabis

BODY WEIGHT:

65 kg

The taste of mushroom cocktail I had just blended with filtered water and concentrated cranberry juice surprised me. It was nothing like the taste of dried mushrooms.

45 grams of Golden Teacher P. Cubensis:

I drank down the concoction in a few large gulps and went into the frozen forest outside my home. At this point I had been fasting for 12 hours, and I had prepared myself with layers of warm clothing and heavy boots. In the late summer and autumn I had taken mushrooms a few times and gone for long walks through the woods and the nearby botanical garden (well, botanical forest), but on this Friday everything was covered in a two inch layer of snow.

The effects came on quickly: My thoughts started diverging from their normal patterns, the light though the trees became stronger and brighter. I came upon a small stream and found myself contemplating how to cross it for what seemed like an eternity, walking back and forth.

Instead I decided to go home. A decision that proved well-advised. As I was walking back from the stream, I was barely able to retrace my steps in the snow and powerful pattering resembling aboriginal art, appeared in the snow.

I got back to the house and was barely able to find my way to the bathroom, where I sat on the toilet. Everything was dissolving around me, the tiles on the floor were burning with powerful visuals, much more brightly colored than I have ever experienced on mushrooms, an effect that may be attributed to the freshness of the mushrooms, which suggests high psilocin content.

After centering myself and calming down, I made my way upstairs to my room. It is best described as a large, friendly space with a huge bed, wooden floor, a small Buddhist altar and lots of plants.

When I sat on the edge of my bed, I felt an overwhelming sensation of guilt, aloneness and regret. I had the experience that I was feeling the effects of my behavior upon others. I managed to crawl onto the bed, everything was coming apart and I can hardly remember what happened next.

My body was wrenching at this point, when I started feeling a presence. It was a presence, but not a person, yet something that felt luminous and aware. I perceived the presence to be a feminine expression or manifestation of the essence of nature.

I was receiving a lesson about my place in the universe, and I felt humbled in a grand way. I started realizing that we are indeed inhibited by our sensory modalities, that reality has an ultimate expression that cannot be captured by words.

It was as if reality quite visually started coming apart, streaks of light breaking through tears in the fabric of reality.

All my fears were gone, every inhibition was irrelevant; metaphorically, I was completely naked.

I felt intense bliss streaming through my body, every tension loosening. On an off for an hour or so, I experienced directly that ultimately everything is completely pure, stainless and beautiful. That reality is so utterly, amazingly perfect in every way, it is beyond concepts to describe.

At some points during the experience it felt as if this entity, which I perceived as a manifestation of something feminine and beautiful, wanted to fuse with me in a way that almost felt sexual.

I realized that it only felt sexual, because sexuality is itself a way of transcendence. Therefore a transcendent experience carries intense bliss that can feel sexual. In the various Vajrayana traditions of Buddhism the experience of enlightenment is said to be one of bliss comparable to an orgasm.

With regular intervals I had retrospective insights into my effects on others and felt absolute terror and regret, when I realized how I had affected others, resolving to try to avoid doing harm in the future.

After about two hours on the bed – having lost all concept of time and sequence for a while, I felt like I came around again and the existential orgasm was over.

I sat on my couch, smoked some good weed, put the projector on, and watched the latest Bourne movie while drinking coffee and thinking about the future, feeling grateful about all the good things that have happened to me.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 98505
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 32
Published: Dec 19, 2020	Views: 816
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Mushrooms - P. cubensis (66) : Mystical Experiences (9), Glowing Experiences (4), Alone (16)