DOSE:	20 mg	sublingual	Methoxetamine	(powder / crystals)
	20 mg	rectal	Methoxetamine	(powder / crystals)
	repeated	smoked	Cannabis
			Guanfacine	(daily)
			Pharms - Atomoxetine	(daily)
			Pharms - Bupropion	(daily)
			Cannabis	(daily)

BODY WEIGHT:

130 lb

I had a great time on MXE. I am so excited for the potential for new drugs being invented all the time. The following is an account of my first three days on MXE.

I'm female, 22, 5'4' and 130lbs. There is almost no junk in my diet but I am not always well fed. My metabolism is pretty high; It seems like I need to eat a lot. I tend to be too lazy to make good food.

X is my tripping partner, husband, best friend. He is a contractor and a capitalist who works at home. We are very close. I am otherwise isolated by aspergers disorder. I flounder in a capitalist society but I have found some safe place as a housewife and a sort of muse.

My experience with prescription drugs begins at approximately age 14, when I tried adderall and concerta but settled on strattera and prozac for about two years. Cannabis at 17; But I wasn't using it habitually until 19. I became addicted to cannabis at age 21, around the time I started using acid. In addition to cannabis I take daily cocktail: Wellbutrin, Strattera, Guanfacine, birth control, and Vyvanse. For my first days on MXE I omitted Vyvanse. I do not necessarily do that any more.

Last summer I began to overcome a lifetime of depression after my first rolls on Ecstasy but I still struggle with doubts. I have never before felt so stable and happy in both an emotional and material sense; but society's paranoia of drug use manifests ominously during my trips. I must avoid becoming dominated by dependence and routine, explore new drugs and combinations, so MXE was what I wanted to do next.

Saturday

All doses were in 20MG increments. Since I was unhappy with how long I was able to keep the powder under my tongue I took another dose by rectum instead. I remember taking only 40MG cumulatively on Saturday but X remembers me taking 60.

We measured doses ahead of time and left several out for us to use as we wanted them. I brought a blanket and enough water and entertainment for several hours and grounded myself on the 8ft beanbag on my living room floor. I only fasted for 5 hours so I wasn't worried about food.

I like my e-ink Kindle for tripping because it is inexpensive and the battery lasts for a very long time. I am fascinated by drugs so I used instapaper to send articles about MXE from the internet to my Kindle 3.

Puppy starts the trip in our bedroom locked in a crate with food and water. The crate is never for ignoring Puppy, it is to keep him safe while we are both physically or mentally absent. I wanted to let him out later but I didn't know if I would be able to.

X took his first dose at 2:15p while I watched him. It took 45 minutes or more for him to feel it. He tried to explain what it felt like but he was babbling and didn't make a lot of sense. He was high but clearly not disassociated. I swallowed my first dose of MXE 20MG at 4:20pm, just happened to be when he was coming down. The powder tasted very mildly bad. At this time X swallowed his third dose. Memories of the next two hours aren't very clear.

It hit me much harder than B. I felt it within 15 minutes, ditzy and synesthesic, like I smoked some strange and potent cannabis and more. My lips and tongue were numb. I wanted sunglasses, but I couldn't get up, so I asked X who couldn't find them. Exposure to light was dizzying so I pushed my head under the blankets. I do not have a lot of experience with alcohol, but I think I felt something like what I remembered alcohol and weed being like. The dizzying alcoholic sensations were euphoric, beyond than anything I'd experienced on actual booze. My last clear thought that I remember is missing the warmth of wine...(In my opinion, warmth is the only thing that MXE doesn't have that alcohol does. I liked MXE much more than booze.)

I planned to smoke but it didn't happen right away. I was out of it for the next 2 hours. My fantasies did not have the clarity of acid. It was not as unreal as, for example, the mushroom trip where I kept repeating to X that his mom is a lesbian (which is not true). The body high was incredible and I had a lot of bizarre thoughts. I loved wiggling and moving, and just couldn't get over feeling like this when I hadn't even smoked any weed yet.

I woke up listening to rain and thunder outside, which I confused with the sound of Portishead. I was impressed by what time it was-- I don't even know what happened to my sense of time but I think I was surprised by how long I was out. I remember listening to music, its effects on my body were wonderful. I thought, 'it takes a lot of really good weed for me to feel this way on acid,' the kind of weed I haven't been able to find in a long time.

I didn't want to get up right away, I was confused by the vague similarities to alcohol and I expected to feel weak and have no control of my limbs, but I wanted to make a bowl of 'Trainwreck' so I had to move. I started crawling which was fun. I felt graceful, like a spider. So I stood up and I discovered that my balance was almost fine. It was so strange that I could feel intensely dizzy without also feeling sick and crashing into everything around me. I didn't even feel sleepy.

I smoked 'Trainwreck' and 'Chocolate Chunk'. I enjoyed stretching my muscles. I spent some time hopping around and stretching. It was exhilarating to close my eyes while jumping and pretend I am jumping higher than I could in real life. I gave X a backrub and I felt strong.

I took Puppy outside and made sure he had more food and water. I lingered. I felt like it could be safe to have him out, but I wasn't sure. It was hard to put him back in the crate.

I had manic conversations with B, his favorite thing to do on drugs. We talked about what MXE felt like. He was super excited, recently he stopped smoking as much because felt like marijuana made him too tired, maybe he could do this instead. We talked about addiction, and what that meant, we got philosophical about that: what does it mean to be addicted? We've had this conversation before, but we were glowing, we knew we really liked MXE, so we talked about what we thought addiction meant all over again.

At the exact same time we ordered a pizza our smart phones began screaming about a tornado sighted nearby. Quickly I got Puppy & X gathered our laptops. Everyone went into the basement. Concern for our safety sobered me although I still felt heavily influenced. I was pretty hungry and wondering about my pizza but I hoped that no one from pizza delivery was trying to drive to my house in this storm. I worried about what I would do if someone actually knocked on my door with pizza, poor delivery guy outside while I was hiding in the basement and MXE still on the dining room table in plain view. I thought it would probably look like cocaine to someone who didn't know better.

20 minutes later it was safe to leave our basement. X had to help Puppy climb the stairs. I had been planning to do more MXE but decided not to. I remembered a very bad storm that trashed the entire city a month ago and left our house without electricity for 5 days. Because I was still high I thought I remembered being on acid during that particular storm, although that's not how it actually happened. I thought about what it would be like evacuate the city during a disaster while also tripping balls. I thought tornadoes are way more dangerous than drugs but the chances are very low that either will actually hurt me. 45 minutes after we emerged from the basement we had pizza at our door. It tasted amazing. I ate a lot. Puppy got to stay out until everyone went to bed at 10pm. I still felt pretty high.

Sunday & Thursday

We tripped on MXE twice more that week, although the following two trips blend together in my mind. I used my bedroom instead of grounding myself on the bean bag in the living room. I preferred the bedroom and so did Puppy who could watch us from the crate while we were in there. He had much more time outside but we decided to put him away when we started experiencing time dilation.

Sunday

I took 60MG, two doses by rectum and one sublingually (I figured out how to keep it under my tongue by pouring it from a capsule). My first dose was plugged, after that I do not remember the order. I feel like it is easier to stay functioning when dosing by rectum because it does not fell like it lasts as long even though it is more intense when it hits me, my body is supposed to absorb it faster with my butt than otherwise, but it is hard to know for sure while I am still new to this drug. Overall was not hit quite as hard as the day before, due more to tolerance more than plugging is my guess, but I began to feel the effects within 5 minutes.

While waiting I attempted to read the Time Traveler's Wife; I thought it might be pretty trippy. Using the Kindle keyboard I tried to keep a detailed log. These are the few notes I have:

1. billy pilgrim time travels in slaughter house five
2. ten minutes on mxe. feeling euphoric. disassociation setting in. listening to music.
3. light changing outside seems to correlate with music. trippiness descending. 14 minutes.
4. seventeen minutes. feeling tingly. head high. listening to driver: san francisco soundtrack.
5. twenty minutes. re dose.

After that I mostly just highlighted things. It had a few neat descriptions that reminded me of tripping:

'Ah, but what can we take along into that other realm? Not the art of looking, which is learned so slowly, and nothing that happened here. Nothing. The sufferings, then. And, above all, the heaviness, and the long experience of love,-just what is wholly unsayable.'

Most of what I read was not like that. Time Traveler's Wife ultimately bored me. I lost interest in taking notes. I spent most of Sunday chattering with X and trying to clean the house under the influence. I enjoyed jumping and crawling on the bed.

When we were getting ready to settle down something suddenly frightened B. It was maybe 1am. He commanded me to help him hide our drug things. There appeared to be police lights blinking through our shades from outside, but when I looked I saw that the lights were from an ambulance. I calmed down but still felt a bit bummed because we live in a substance nazi state and I knew someone nearby was in trouble. Those lights were still flashing as we went to sleep.

Thursday

This was my most intense trip. MXE didn't make me sick over the weekend so I decided to fast insanely and I was already very hungry, so I was eager to get started so I could smoke some pot which would calm down my empty stomach. I liked how I dosed on Sunday, but wanted to try something different, so I planned two doses sublingually and only one by rectum (I think I took it between oral doses). X gave me a sleeping mask when I began to feel dizzy which I used it to cover my eyes. In the darkness closed eye visuals were insane. Suddenly I knew this trip was going to be something else.

X had to struggle with putting Puppy away while I was already rolling around and drooling on the bed. He said he was high enough that this was difficult. I felt bad for leaving X behind without taking care of Puppy first but the drugs take a lot longer to work for B.

I want to meditate on positivity so often I think about my memories of Ecstasy while tripping, but there was something special about these visuals that recalled a particularly profound candy-flipping trip from last summer. I was not able to think about a complex chain of ideas in the detail I do on acid, although time felt like it was going slowly and my thoughts briefly touched a lot of subjects I have thought about in the past while tripping: time travel, baby boomers, computing, ancient peoples, brain chemistry, orgasms of death. I got to the part where I am thinking about love and living and the eternal yes, when I repeat to B, 'I love you sooo much!'

Ideas of reference, timing, synesthesia, everything seemed incredibly profound. I spontaneously mumbled single words or short phrases that had something to do with what I was seeing and thinking about. X responded and we conversed. There was some logic to the exchange even though I didn't always understand what we were talking about. Our unconscious minds were conversing. This part was very comparable to acid: whatever part of my that brain recognizes my thoughts as my own wasn't working. I tend to believe that someone from the future is sending me messages while my brain is vulnerable to suggestion. I do not know how long this lasted, I was pretty much elsewhere, although I was still aware of X and mostly aware of my bed.

I knew I was starting to come down when I started to feel hungry again. My mouth was insanely dry, a palpable benchmark of how incredibly fucking high I had been. I swallowed some water and found out my stomach was too sensitive to drink very much. The pain and sickness became very distracting. I needed to smoke some pot and absorb some moisture from the shower. I hoped I could eat by the time I was out of the shower.

We were getting ready to shower in the bathroom and I was just getting sicker waiting for X to get off the toilet. When he got up I bent over and my stomach ejected its contents: nothing but water and slime. After that my body couldn't get over wanting to puke. I couldn't stop heaving or coughing or something, I confused all of those things and didn't really know what was happening.

I joined X in the shower. He told me I wasn't sick and I was just hallucinating. I was experiencing cognitive dissonance. On a surface level I was annoyed that I wasn't able to control my bodily reactions; This is how I responded to B. I felt patient and open to all experiences during a trip; I hope this is the perspective I need to prevent a difficult experience becoming a traumatizing experience. And on the last level I was frightened. I thought it was this kind of wacky involuntary reaction that could one day lead to something terrible like asphyxiating on my own slime.

Once out of the shower I felt miserable. I tried to make myself some pot but I was even more out of it than I would have been because I felt so sick. Defeated, I asked X to help me, although he was so high he had trouble too. I convalesced for an hour or two and smoked quite a bit of pot before I felt better. By the time I felt better the completely trippy part was pretty much over although I had hours of afterglow yet to enjoy.

I let Puppy out and had a great time for the rest of the night. Puppy really wanted to get into trouble, he wanted to eat smelly pizza boxes still in my kitchen from Saturday. I was pretty high but I kept up with Puppy. I thought, by my third trip I was learning about what I was able to handle while under the influence of this new drug and if I hadn't been so sick I think I Puppy could have had more freedom that day.

I think I only had 40MG that day. While I was getting ready for bed I found an opened capsule filled with MXE that I had intended to eat. I do not know for sure if this dose is from my original plan to have 60MG or if I changed my mind and wanted to have 80MG instead. Apparently I was too high to finish consuming it. X surprised me with some chicken. I still hadn't eaten but I managed to forget how hungry I was. Finally my body was restored to normalcy. I'm probably not going to fast like that again. I was too confident because MXE won't make me sick like acid, mescaline or shrooms will. But being hungry always makes me feel sick.

In the few days following I had a bit of a hangover. My first two MXE trips didn't do this to me. I felt very ditzy, lazy, and emotionally bland. Maybe I was exhausted by the sickness and hunger I felt, but it was lot like what I'd expect following an actual roll. I channeled a lot of emotion from my Ecstasy memories during the dissassociative peak of this trip. Is that possible I also invoked the Ecstasy hangover? Drugs are weird. Regardless I'm definitely looking forward to more MXE.

Exp Year: 2012	ExpID: 98832
Gender: Female
Age at time of experience: 22
Published: Sep 26, 2016	Views: 2,561
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Methoxetamine (527), Cannabis (1) : Small Group (2-9) (17), Multi-Day Experience (13), Hangover / Days After (46), Depression (15), Combinations (3)