DOSE:	5 hits	smoked	DMT
		smoked	Tobacco

BODY WEIGHT:

175 lb

I am 27, male, and in good health.

I am an intermediate psychonaut, having used LSD 6 times, and psilocybin mushrooms 4 times. I have found both chemicals to be enriching. On LSD, I will approach my most complicated mental and analytical questions with a completely clean slate, letting my thoughts loop around until I come up with creative answers that suddenly seem so obvious. On psilocybin, I feel like universal truths about the human condition or life in general are revealed to me in nurturing, comforting ways.

That being said, I am not, and never have been, spiritual; at least not the way anyone who is religious or spiritual has ever described. When I heard about 'the spirit molecule' that exists in every living thing on earth, and that so many have credited with revealing the fundamental, ultimate reality that exists outside of our bodies and egos, I was instantly interested. Perhaps, I thought, I could get a feeling of what religious and spiritual people describe when they talk about God or the numinous.

I came across some DMT, and actually held onto it for several months before trying it. I wanted to give myself time to prepare for what I had hoped would be the most profound psychedelic experience imagineable. The last three days, I have smoked DMT three times (one per day), with progressively more intense experiences. I bought 200 mg, total, all of which was gone by the end of my third trip.

(First Attempt)
The first time, I put a small bit of the yellow crystals into a vapor (non-combustion) pipe on top of some tobacco leaves. The full amount was no greater than a grain of rice. I took a few standard hits and my visual field warped and distorted for a few minutes, but at all times my ego was present in the here-and-now. Clearly, I did not have a 'breakthrough.'

(Second Attempt)
The second time (yesterday), I used a little bit more - perhaps 1.5 to 2x as much. I took long vapor hits until, again I started to feel reality fall away. Within a few seconds, I felt my body fall out from under me. My mind felt like it was hovering above my body, detached from it, but still nearby. As I looked at the walls around me, I could see faint rainbow-colored halos spiraling and intersecting. But they were vague and hard to discern. I believe I experienced mild ego death, because my consciousness felt released from the corporeal, mechanical constraints of the body. It was a 'cool' feeling, to the extent that I was basically relieved to have left my body in some minor way. But as soon as I realized I had, still, not had a real breakthrough, I picked up the pipe again to take some more hits. Moving my arms was enough to snap me back into my body, and the trip was over, no matter how hard I tried to blast off again.

(Third Attempt - Breakthrough)
A little frustrated, I decided that I would smoke the rest of it in one sitting for my final trip. I don't know how many milligrams it was, but it was a pile of crystals about the size of a dime, resting on top of tobacco leaves in a vapor pipe.

I braced myself for a breakthrough, and started taking deep, long hits until my relationship with my environment fell apart . I kept hitting it until I was racing so fast into disconnection from my earthly existence that the only thing I could do was close my eyes and observe hyperspace.

It was a thoroughly overrated, uninspiring let-down of an experience.

Sure, I was in a dark, alien place surrounded by moving geometric structures. My body was an irrelevant, half-forgotten memory. I could not have controlled it if I tried. Language was no longer an organizing principle of my thoughts. There was only the sea of dark, loosely-connected 3D planes morphing around me.

But it all lasted only a few minutes, and soon my consciousness re-built itself and I opened my eyes. I felt an afterglow - mood elevated, like waking up from a restful sleep. But no sense of spiritual insight. No deeper understanding of the spirit. No elves. The creativity of LSD was missing; the insight of mushrooms absent.

Maybe I'm too cynical. If a person is spiritually inclined, they might identify the disembodied trance that I felt to be an experience from another dimension. For me it was unremarkable and transparent. Smoking weed and going for a walk does more for me than this stuff.

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 99091
Gender: Male
Age at time of experience: 27
Published: May 29, 2016	Views: 3,115
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DMT (18) : Retrospective / Summary (11), General (1), Alone (16)