DOSE:

smoked

DMT

BODY WEIGHT:

140 lb

At this point I had done DMT roughly two years ago, and it was an amazing experience. Pure bliss, pure love, and the unshakable feeling that I had just seen the machinations behind EVERYTHING, including our universe. This feeling effectively made me a DMT spokesperson among my friends. I should note that the only being I encountered was a felt presence that showed me around and bathed me in warm love. I never actually SAW any beings.

Eventually, one of my friends loosened up and decided to give it a shot. We used the DMT for the Masses tek, with Vovin's washing guide. We got pure white crystals. After the successful and bountiful harvest, it took me more than a week for the time to feel right. I was very careful about not doing it unless everything was in line, mentally and physically. Eventually that happened, and late that night, I went to my bedroom and turned on quiet meditative music and a single lamp.

I meditated for about 20 minutes, clearing my head and slowing my breathing. After I felt prepared enough, I hit the pipe. I had loaded about 60 mg in a pipe with maybe 50 mg of residue from the use of others. I intended to take one and a half lungfuls, so precise dosing wasn't a major concern.

Prior to the dosing that night, I had been going over my first trip in my mind, and asking myself what my intention was, why I was doing it. I settled on simply wanting a reminder of what I knew so clearly after the first trip. I ended up getting that, and then some, but it came in a way that was entirely unexpected, and would probably be considered bad, if not nightmarish, by most others.

Here the trip begins. The blasting off feeling I had the first time was replaced by an intense rolling backwards, and was very quickly replaced by a full blown breakthrough. Perhaps having so much residue in the pipe made the lungfuls significantly more potent. What I'm about attempt explaining feels almost entirely inexplicable, so bear with me.

This time, there were innumerable beings, all laughing at me in a poke your friend's ribs sort of way. These beings were fractal in nature, at least their bodies were. They were effectively worms made of fractals that rapidly extended and swam around every which way, with simple faces constantly laughing at me. Like I said, there were too many to count, but only one that paid close attention to me.

The part of this trip that was 'nightmarish' was the indescribable feeling of existing completely in a formless state, but knowing I was attached to a body. I had experienced this during my first trip, but it was SO different this time. As I'm tripping, my body burps (maybe I swallowed some smoke?), and when it does, it gets my attention for a brief second. During this moment, the worm lets out an enormous cackle, and I'm suddenly given an incredible and tortuous perspective on my existence.

For this part of the report, keep in mind this is all understanding I'm imbued with without any sort of conscious effort. I'm merely describing to you what I experienced during the trip.

This tortuous perspective is that existence is simply a fact, and the fact is I exist as a human. Period. The machinations from the first trip were there, but they were very clearly operating on a most basic level independent of anything else. They simply are, and from this everything in existence is churned out, including me.

The part that really made that perspective torture is this; I understood that I was capable of existing in 'other realms' (even if they are in my head, makes no difference), but also hopelessly human (or attached to reality, take it your own way). The cackle from the worm was saying 'Haha yup, you exist as a human. Deal with it.' From this point on, I attempted to clear my head and experience the trip, which was very intense. At even the smallest mental slip up though, and I'm talking subconsciously small, the worm let out another laugh, pointed out my mental white noise, and harshly remind me that my existence was human, and his was other.

It all seemed so surreal, thinking back. Like viewing my own existence from the context of absolutely nothing. What it means to be a 'physical' being, what it means to be at all. The scariest part was feeling like my existence was boxed in, defined, limited. My limits as a being were very clearly defined, and I was stuck with it. I felt tiny.

Being the person I am, I stayed put the entire time and just ran with it. Now that it's over, I still consider it an unbelievably positive experience, even if I use the word 'torturous' to describe it. After my first trip, I texted my friend immediately and said 'I don't think that was a hallucination', that it had a real aspect that made other hallucinogens look like playtoys. Again after this trip, risking being thrown into an asylum, I find myself saying the same thing.

I'm going to grow a pair and just say it; DMT isn't a trip, it's somehow a looking glass into a more basic, more fundamental aspect of our reality. When I do DMT, it seems to strip away everything I think of as my existence and replace it with a more basic form of being, and from that place I can see what it really means to exist. It doesn't even matter whether I'm technically visiting another realm, that's all semantics and useless categorization. While I'm tripping on DMT, the physical world certainly isn't what my consciousness is perceiving.

Exp Year: 2013	ExpID: 99429
Gender: Not Specified
Age at time of experience: 21
Published: Jun 5, 2020	Views: 947
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DMT (18) : Retrospective / Summary (11), Entities / Beings (37), General (1), Alone (16)