Unexpected Religious Ecstasy
25C-NBOMe
Citation: expectopatronum. "Unexpected Religious Ecstasy: An Experience with 25C-NBOMe (exp99471)". Erowid.org. Jun 1, 2013. erowid.org/exp/99471
DOSE: |
500 ug | buccal | 25C-NBOMe | (blotter / tab) |
BODY WEIGHT: | 240 lb |
I was very calm and relaxed - both of my roommates were gone on spring break and I was alone for the first time in a long time. I chose to stay home and in my room for this, since it was a solo excursion. I also chose to text a sympathetic friend to let her know I was on an adventure, and she was happy to be available for me as a theoretical trip-contact in case something went wrong, since it was my first time taking 25c.
I acquired some 25c and had to hold onto it for when I had some genuine free time. I had a blotter, dosed at 500µg which I set against my upper gum. I found this a very effective way of dosing, as it didn't require me to hold my spit, nor did I have to deal with a very unpleasant taste for too long. I did not take anything else with this, nor am I on any prescription/OTC drugs.
T = 0:00, 3:15 PM. I set the blotter against my gum and go about my business for the moment. I've done a lot of research so I know the come up will be swifter than with shrooms.
T+0:30 - I am very hungry. I am also starting to feel the effects. I turn off the lights in my bedroom because I knew I'd want to lie back and it would be far too bright. I stare at my bedspread and watch it get brighter and more vivid and morph a bit. I am afraid to move and risk disturbing it. I also begin to get flashes at the edge of my vision like a fan in front of a light - I've seen them before and know it's part of the onset of the visuals.
I had to adjust the blotter, as it had slipped along my gums. My gums were tingly and numb and the taste of the blotter is bitter and the edge of metallic. I get under the covers, although I don't want to sleep - I just want to be warm and comfortable.
T+0:50 - I am definitely getting visuals now and hunger/nausea. I pull up some of my favorite trippy pictures and look at them, using them as visual litmus tests for how my trip is going. I am still able to force-focus my eyes to stop the visuals, but it's getting harder.
T+1:00 - It's really here, time to swallow the blotter.
I am an avowed agnostic, but I begin to contemplate the existence of God. I am suddenly very sure of its existence, although I think it is apathetic. I see colors pulsing and shifting in pictures.
T+1:15 I am watching the colors pulse outwards and think they look like cuttlefish. I start to have closed-eye visuals that start off like an old movie reel spinning up. I put on my classical music station. I can see the music and my world stretching and colliding and pulling.
Words begin to slip sideways off the screen and melt into their surroundings. I close my eyes and float.
T+1:45 - I keep closing my eyes to listen to the music; the visuals were almost too much so closed-eye was much easier. I want to chase the story lines of the music.
I have shivers and chases all over my body. My feet are endlessly rubbing against each other, either in a pattern or just as nervousness. I think it's helping to ground me.
I very badly want to talk on social media about my experience but none of my friends know I enjoy this sort of thing, so I keep it to my notepad. Instead, I imagine a beautiful series of conversations about my experiences.
I have never been more certain of the existence of god than in this moment.
T+2:00 - I know I am hungry but not moving because I am enjoying the mind trip as much as the rest. I suddenly decide that my glasses control the trip - if they're off, it's off. If they're on, it's on. I am sure it has everything to do with my depth of vision without the glasses but even some semblance of control is nice.
T+2:10 - I write a huge note to myself to not interact with people on social media. I contemplate whether I could handle looking in the mirror, but I need to use the bathroom so it seems likely to happen.
T+2:20 - I return from the bathroom and kitchen. While in the bathroom, I watched my body morph and grow. I could pull my skin sideways like silly putty, molding and pulling it. When I was out getting food, everything was in extremes, like a fun house, and tilted away a lot. The cupboard looked like a hologram of itself and shifted depending on how I looked at it.
T+2:45 - I've been pretty cold for most of this. I listen to a beautiful arrangement of 'Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring,' which brings tears to my eyes. Every time I think about talking or writing things down I believe it would interrupt the flow of the experience. I need something that taps straight into my brain while my eyes are closed and my hands still, dumping all my thoughts out into a bin. Swan Lake comes on and I feel transported.
T+3:15 - I am crying now, thinking about god and music and math all being the same thing. I suddenly understand my dad's love of music and how it connects him to creation. It's extreme euphoria. I want desperately to call him but when I paused the music for a second and everything cut off, it was horrible and empty.
T+3:30 - Tears are still running down my face. There is silence now between two songs and it's so loud it's an actual buzzing in my ears.
T+4:15 - I have floated in the music with creation. The music is a constant. I begin to interact with friends on social media pretty well. I am still having some nice visuals but can definitely tell the comedown is happening.
The music is still wonderful.
This has been a really profound trip. I have rediscovered something I can call god.
T+4:30 - I call a college friend who first introduced me to psychedelics. We talk for awhile as I describe my trip and talk about life. It was good to have her support and understanding. The visuals basically wound down pretty seriously while we were on the phone. I was in recovery at this point.
T+5:15 - (8:30 PM) - I called my dad and talked to him for nearly 40 minutes about what I'd experienced (without mentioning the drugs), as he's had similar, unassisted moments in his life. I cry a lot. He gave me more music for future god-excursions. He understood better than anyone else would have.
Post-mortem: I was shocked by my religious ecstasy and loss of self-identity during this expedition; I had anticipated visuals but not that. It was honestly a life-changing experience and have spent many days since contemplating what I experienced.
Physical/mental effects during the trip: mild nausea (might have just been hunger), extreme patterning, vibrant color shifting, electric spasms, complete loss of my self/identity/ego, and loss of time.
It was a superb experience, far beyond what I had anticipated. I slept eight hours that night and woke up with no particular hangover. I drank a lot of water the following day.
Exp Year: 2013 | ExpID: 99471 |
Gender: Female | |
Age at time of experience: 30 | |
Published: Jun 1, 2013 | Views: 5,952 |
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25C-NBOMe (540) : First Times (2), Mystical Experiences (9), Alone (16) |
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